Soul Searching 1

SOUL SEARCHING

Sundays are often spent quietly relaxing and reflecting on past events. In the houses of our characters, this Sunday evening was certainly no exception to that rule.

Carly had spent most of the day like all others this summer. It was why she came to Springfield. Her deep-toned tan testified to the many hours spent poolside. As evening approached on the first day of her final week of leisure, she sipped a Marguaretta while lounging aimlessly.

She'd return to the city on Thursday morning, and begin final preparations for the upcoming school year. But, this evening, she was lost in thought. "How had the summer passed so quickly?" she wondered.

Her thoughts lingered on Jake. Her time with him had been everything she'd hoped it to be - and then some. She would miss him, but they both knew the end would come when it was time for her to leave. That remained the case. Neither was causing problems, still, it was sad to think she'd not see him again until Christmas.

"What had Jake thought of their time? Was he satisfied with what I'd shared with him? And how had their relations affected his relationship with Ann?" Carly had no answers but struggled with the feeling that she was leaving many unresolved issues.

"Where would Jake find release for his sexual frustrations now?" She wondered about Ann's friend, Tina. "That girl is trouble!" Carly suspected Tina had ideas about Jake that wouldn't be true to her friendship with Ann. "But, it's not like Ann doesn't have it coming," she thought.

Carly worried about her grandmother. Although she had a few friends, there was no man in her life since the passing of Carly's grandfather a couple of years ago. A young-looking and actively fit 75 years old, her granny deserved a man to share things with. Since they were so much alike, Carly expected her grandmother would still be very sexually active, given a suitable partner. "I'm sure the desire's still burning somewhere inside her, but how can I help her?" Before heading home, maybe the two could have a heartfelt talk about things.

Inside the house, upstairs in her room, Mrs. Clayton was soaking in her evening bubble bath, an indulgence she allowed herself as often as she felt the need to unwind with her thoughts. A glass of wine and soft music was normally just the thing to soothe her soul, but tonight her heart was troubled.

Carly would be leaving later in the week, and she'd again be alone. Although she liked to think of herself as self-sufficient, the big house got lonely at night. Her king-size bed was big and empty beside herself. But where would she find a man her age who was still active and eager to do things with her?

And then there was sex. She missed it badly - more as time passed. Most men her age could no longer perform regularly and she knew that would leave her unfulfilled. Even now, at the thought of sex, she found that her fingers were busily working below the water's surface, arousing herself to the point of no turning back. Soon, that warm feeling of orgasm relieved her need - for now.

Guilt weighed heavily on Jake's conscience as he tinkered in his makeshift workshop/garage. He wasn't ready to face Ann. Not only had he cheated on her repeatedly with Carley over the past few months, but last Wednesday night, he'd spent the night with Ann's best friend, Tina.

There was something weird about that night, however. Ann wasn't yet home from Landover at 9:00 that evening when he'd tried to call her to make up some excuse for his absence. He wondered if she came home at all.

They rarely had sex together anymore, yet Ann had a different aura about her recently. Jake was beginning to suspect she had someone on the side herself. He was fine with that. It should have eased his conscience although it hadn't worked that way.

Carly was leaving later in the week, so introducing Tina into the mix worked well, especially if Ann had found someone, too. He wished he and Ann could talk openly, but that had never been the case.

But what about Carly? How did he really feel about her? And about her leaving? He hated to see how hard Mrs. Clayton would take the emptiness of her house. Jake thought she was a lonely woman, but he liked her a lot and always enjoyed their visits. The two could talk about anything, sharing many interests.

She always seemed to listen when Jake talked, while Jake hung on to all her stories as well. That was something he'd rarely had with any women his age. He was lucky to be able to help out with her household chores. And she was a great cook, always spoiling him with meals on the days he worked for her.

Not realizing Jake was downstairs in the garage, Ann was curled up under the covers in a room upstairs that she'd recently claimed as her own.

Of all the struggles and decisions facing the friends and neighbors of Jake and Ann, she likely has the most to ponder.

Although Ann felt like she'd dealt with the demons of her early bad sexual experiences, it still haunted her. "Have I gotten to the root of those experiences and found what's truly driving my newfound desire?" That was a question Ann had struggled with so often. Was she just burying old hurts by placing herself in potentially dangerous sexual positions? This was her therapist's logic. Maybe he was right.

"Why does it excite me so?" Ann thought about the scene with Max and Scott at the park. The animalistic nature of that encounter provided an out-of-body experience for her. Although that encounter, and the night that followed with Scott, could have easily gone so very wrong. But, even thinking about it now, she knew she wanted more encounters similar, if not more intense than that.

"What happened to Jake and I? Have I burned that bridge beyond repair?" These were reasonable questions for which Ann had no answers. Jake craved "out-of-the-box sex" on a regular basis. But, it no longer excited her to be with him. Even the last time with him, when they were watching the movie. She'd practically raped him, but she was fantasizing about potentially darker scenarios with strangers even as she was screaming through a most intense orgasm.

"How do I feel about Jake and Carly?" Ann was sure they'd had sex several times during the summer. She could understand why Jake would be drawn to her. She was a sexy bombshell, younger than he, who arrived on the scene just as Ann was withdrawing from him. "Why wouldn't he run to her?" She felt that she was OK with that coupling, given her circumstances.

"And Tina!" Ann groaned as she thought of that situation. "I hand-fed Jake to her. She's not going to give up on him so easily now that she's had a taste of that forbidden fruit." And she couldn't blame her.

As Ann tried processing all she had thought about, thoughts of her first experience with bad sex came rushing back. She had barely turned 15 when a date she'd reluctantly agreed upon had clumsily forced himself on her. Making no attempt to help her get wet enough to take his eager youthful aggression, he ripped right into her. She remembered the intense pain and shame she dealt with that night, and so many times since.

There were other frightful experiences from those early years, but she again forced them from her mind. Coming to no conclusions to the many questions she was tossing through her mind, Ann got up to make another cup of tea. When she returned to her room, softer music began to soothe her restless, troubled spirit until she eventually drifted off to sleep.