So Here I Am

Chapter 4

As always, a special thanks to Mrsgnomie for her help and guidance, and to dnsontn for the constant encouragement.

I sat looking at the text from Beth;

Can you cum tonight? We'd like to play some more 😊

I considered the text, trying to sort out my feelings. I've had several 'dates' with Beth and Tommy already, separately and together. Enjoyable and hot, but leaving me more and more disheartened after each one.

Tommy was growing more pliant, following my lead rather than taking any initiative. Beth has been... I'm not able to put my finger on it, but she's been more dismissive of Tommy when the three of us are together.

On our second date, she made him wear lacy panties the entire night. Only pulling them aside as she held his legs back so I could enter him. Then when I took her from behind (her favorite position apparently), Tommy got in front of her to kiss her and she kind of pushed him away, laid her face down on the bed, and bounced back on my cock harder getting vocal with me but pretty much ignoring him. I left that night feeling a little off. I was there to enjoy both of them, for the three of us to enjoy

each other

, and I wasn't getting that feeling anymore.

Our last date really bugged me. Things were going great, lots of making out, Tommy taking me in his mouth, at Beth's direction, to harden me up, then Beth got on her hands and knees, offering herself to me. I entered her and slowly started stroking in and out. Beth waved to the chair beside the bed and told Tommy "Sit down there so you can watch him fuck me, and don't you dare touch that little dick."

Her attitude bothered me but Tommy seemed okay with it. Plus, I was balls deep in her tight, wet pussy, so I pushed it to the back of my mind. We were really working each other and she was grunting and groaning and saying all kinds of nasty things and Tommy just watched, his dick hard as a rock inside his lacy panties.

Beth was rocking back and forth on my cock, and I was kneading her fleshy ass, the slapping sound of our fucking loud when she looked over at Tommy "Do you want him to fuck my ass baby?" Tommy nodded, mouth slightly open, breathing heavily.

"Use your words, little boy. Do you want to see him shove his hard cock into my tight little ass?"

Tommy swallowed, nodded, and whispered "Yes ma'am, please let him fuck your beautiful ass."

"Tell

him

what you want baby, he's doing you a favor, giving your wife a real cock to help you out, isn't he? Tell him what you want him to do..." She then put her face and shoulder back on the bed, reached back, grabbed her ass, and spread herself open. "oooohhhh fucckkk! Tell him to ream my asshole!"

I could see the blush starting on his chest and creeping up his face. He looked at me, and took a deep breath, "Please Sir, fuck her tight little asshole for me". He came over, and as I pulled out of her pussy, he took my wet cock in his hand and guided the head to her puckered hole. Tommy held his face right above our joined sexes and groaned as he watched me slowly push the head.

Beth moaned and suddenly pushed herself back taking my cock in one quick thrust.

"Fuuuucccckkkkk yesss! Oh, my fucking god! Give that cock! Fuck me harder!"

I was startled. Beth is vocal during sex, but this was a bit much for even her. I began to thrust into her and she practically growled "harder, harder, give me that big cock harder, fuck yes, fuck, fuck, fuck"

She repeated that expletive which each thrust into her greedy ass. As for me? I was close, regardless of how she was treating Tommy, this whole session was nasty hot and I had held off for as long as I possibly could. "I'm going to cum soon".

"Yes! Yes, cum in me. Breed my asshole!"

Yep, that did the trick. I shoved into her a final time, pressing her down to the bed, trying to get as deep into her as I possibly could as I released my load. I stayed in her for a minute or two, letting the orgasm finish its final twinges, when my softened dick slid out of her, I rolled over on my back, panting.

Beth turned her head to Tommy "Be a good girl and clean him up."

I felt Tommy moving on the bed then I felt his tongue on my soft cock. He licked it, took it in his mouth, and nursed on it, cleaning it of all remnants of our activities. I opened my eyes and watched as Tommy sat on his knees and looked expectantly at Beth. "Good girl. Now it's my turn. Get on your back." She edged over and he lay down on his back. She turned around, threw her leg over him so she was straddling his face, and sat down. "Clean my ass. Suck his cum out of my hole." She sat up on her knees, lay back, arms out supporting herself, and with one hand began rubbing her clit. Tommy's face under her, his mouth clearly pinned by the hole I just unloaded in, and he was working at it. Beth moaned some more as he worked. "Now you can pay with your little clit. Make yourself cum while sucking his seed out of my ass."

I got up and went to the bathroom. My head was spinning and I had no clue what I should do. The sex was definitely hot, but the way she treated Tommy, regardless of his obvious arousal, just grated on me. The whole reason I didn't want a cuckold relationship with them was precisely this. I realized that during the whole thing I felt like a tool. It felt like Beth was using me like a fucking dildo. On top of that, the disrespect shown to Tommy was completely unpalatable. Some people like that sort of thing. It makes

me

angry, and a bit nauseated.

I cleaned up and heard them finishing, Beth cumming again, loudly, and Tommy with a few grunts that I recognized from previous dates. When I walked back into the room, they were laying together, looking like they were falling asleep. "Hey guys, that was good, but I need to head out."

"Didn't you want to stay the night?" she asked me softly.

"Sorry, I have an early day tomorrow, got to go to Scottsbluff, so I'm just going to head home now." She nodded vaguely and Tommy was out. I guess watching your wife fuck takes a lot out of a guy.

===================================================================================

So, there I was, looking at Beth's text and trying to decide what to do. Actually, I knew what to do, I just need to figure out how to do it so there were no hard feelings.

I'm not going to be able to make it tonight. I'm going to be out of the loop for a week or so for work. I'll hit you up when I roll back in.

Okay, so a little lie never hurt anyone. At least this'll buy me time to find a nice way to explain that I'm not a vibrator and I'm not down with treating her husband like a bitch. I sighed, turned off my phone, sat back in my chair, and berated myself for my stupidity. I knew it was a bad idea when I agreed to join them. Threesomes usually end with someone being left out or hurt, but I had to follow my little head because Beth, and Tommy, were sexy as hell.

Well, now I know. Trust your gut and tell your dick to shut the hell up. I thought about it a bit more and realized I was not having an epiphany any time soon. Frustrated, I got up and went to the kitchen and realized that this was one of those days where nothing was sweet, fattening, pre-made, or bad for you even with a pantry and fridge full of ingredients. So consequently, there was nothing in the house to eat. Smiling ruefully to myself I grabbed my keys and phone and headed out to the tavern.

Paul glanced up when I walked in, smiling he nodded and turned to the taps, and started drawing a Newcastle. I sat down in 'my spot' and he set down the ale and pulled the bottle of Maker's and poured me a measure. "You want something to eat? We're getting ready to close down the kitchen but we can wrangle something for you."

I thought for a quick moment, "Hmmm, I think maybe a salad tonight. Whatever's easiest I guess"

Paul looked sideways at me, nodded and turned to his POS, and typed in my order. "I'll hook you up with a Cobb, and we'll throw on a half Club too. That sound okay?"

"Sure, sounds great thanks." I smiled softly and picked up my bourbon, took a healthy gulp, and focused on the warming burn as I swallowed. I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me.

"Everything okay? You look a bit... preoccupied."

"Oh, I'm fine." I sighed. "I got myself involved in a dating situation that I shouldn't have and I'm trying to figure out how to untangle myself without causing too many hard feelings."

"Weeelll...... if you don't mind my saying so..." He looked at me, one eyebrow arched.

I love how people can do that; it looks so cool. I wish I could do it; I'd be arching my brow all the time just to look interesting and wise...

"Go ahead, hit me with some truth. I can use some advice."

"Well, the thing of it is, you seem like a pretty nice, and straightforward guy, so if you simply tell them how you feel, things will work out for the best, regardless of initial reactions. I'm sure you'd feel better and whoever it is will feel better about it in the end as well."

I looked at him over the top of my glasses, "Wow, you.... Suck at advice. It's a wonder why you're not a therapist, giving out such helpful, obvious, and completely ordinary solutions to the world's problems." His eyes widened a bit, and I couldn't help it, I started grinning at him. He blinked and started laughing.

"Yeah, you're right. Not exactly life-altering wisdom, is it?"

"Nah, it's perfect. You're 100% right, and I appreciate it. Just needed to hear it from someone not living in my head."

Shawna brought out my salad and sandwich and sat it down, Paul poured another measure of Maker's and a glass of ice water, and I dig in. Shawna was doing her thing and kept throwing glances my way. I looked at her as she was going by, "What's on your mind, Shawna?"

Giving me a considered look. She smiled, grabbed my napkin from the bar, and wiped the corner of my mouth. "I was just wondering when we were going to have that coffee? It's been a while since you asked and yet there has been nothing. I guess you're not interested anymore?"

"I'm absolutely interested! Sorry if I made you think something else, I've just been wrapped up in work and other... things."

"It's fine. You let me know when you'd like to do it and we can work something out."

"Um, how about Saturday. I know you work in the evening so we could do a mid-morning thing at that diner down the road?"

"Sure, that sounds good. How about I meet you there at 10?" She grabbed another napkin, wrote her phone number, and slid it to me. "Call me if something comes up and you can't make it."

I grinned at her, picked up the napkin, folded it carefully, and slid it into my pocket. "I'm looking forward to it."

The rest of the evening passed quietly. I finished my dinner and waved off another drink. Leaving a hefty tip, as I always do, I gave Paul a little salute and wished him a good night. On my way to the door, I smiled at Shawna and told her I was looking forward to Saturday, and sauntered my way back to my apartment.

I sat in the booth, holding my coffee and anxiously watching the door. 10:05 by the clock on my phone, and I've been here for over half an hour. It was strange to me that I was so nervous about having coffee with someone, but I'd never done this before and I wasn't sure what to expect.

I was sure there would be small talk, at which I suck, big time. Beyond that, I had no clue. Most of my conversations with other people were work-related, family-related, or if I was online, sex-related. Sheesh! 58 years old and I don't know how to sit with a woman, enjoy a cup of coffee and get to know her. Now, beyond being nervous, I was pushing myself into the corner of self-doubt and pity.

Fuck, snap out of it. It's coffee. Let her take the lead, don't come across as a pervert or an idiot, and see what happens

.

I see her come through the door and I take her in. Slender, attractive, and looking completely different in the light of day than in the dimmer lights of the tavern. She was wearing a V-neck tee shirt, a denim jacket, and jeans. She looked... normal. There was a carefree air about her though that made the smile she was directing my way, seem brighter than what I'd seen before. She embodied synergy; the whole much greater than the sum of its parts.

I stood as she approached the booth. There was an awkward exchange as I wasn't sure whether to shake her hand or hug her. She chuckled, leaned in, gave me a light kiss on the cheek, "Sorry I'm late, had a small issue with my son trying to play dad."

"It's fine, have a seat please." I motioned to the waitress who came right over with a cup and a carafe. Setting them on the table, she asked if we needed anything else, took our head shakes in stride, and bustled off.

I poured Shawna a cup of coffee and topped mine off. "Tell me about your son and his daddy issues"

She laughed and took a sip of her coffee. "You really don't want to know about my family drama, do you?"

I blushed a little and looked her in the eye, "To be completely honest with you, I've never done this before and I'm embarrassed to say I'm nervous as hell. So yes, if it is a matter of me hearing about your 'family drama' or stuttering like a fool trying to make small talk, I'll gladly go for the drama."

"What do you mean you've never done this before? You've had coffee with someone before, haven't you?"

Welllllll, no. I've never actually had a date before, and I'm sorry if I'm wrong in assuming this is a date. But yeah. I've never had a date before and I'm very nervous right now."

"Hold up. Weren't you married?"

I blushed some more, and swallowed, "Okay, here's my life story: I never dated in high school. I was a short, fat, nerdy little kid. In my junior year, I lost a ton of weight, but that only made me a short, thin, nerdy little kid. Hell, when I was 16, I looked like I was 12, seriously. I ordered from the kids' menu and no one would bat an eye.

Consequently, I never had anyone interested in me and never had the balls to approach anyone I was interested in. I joined the Army right after graduation and puberty slapped the shit out of me while I was in basic training. I enlisted at 5'2', 125lbs, and finished my training at 5'9", 135lbs. They had to issue me new BDUs 4 times in 6 months. When I got to my first duty station, I found that being a young soldier garnered a lot of attention in the clubs and I spent a lot of time drinking and waking up in strange beds.

As far as being married; I corresponded with a neighbor, and a really good friend, from home. We got closer through letters and phone calls and eventually, I finally suggested that we get married. She agreed and we set a date. I came home on leave for the wedding, two weeks after my 20

th

birthday and that was it for the next 38 years. So, in a nutshell, you are the first, and only, woman I've ever asked to have coffee, or go on a date if that's what this is.

Shawna considered me for a moment, reached across the table, and put her hand on mine. "I'm honored you asked me, and I'm glad we're on this

date

together.

"So, tell me about his family drama. Since I just vomited my life story all over, you should have a chance to return the favor." She laughed and smiled. The anxiousness left my body and my muscles relaxed in the glow of her kind smile.

"Jack, my 20-year-old son, has become more protective of me lately. It's just been the two of us since his dad left 15 years ago and we've always been each other's support and closest friend. Lately, though, he's been acting a little overprotective. I don't date a lot because most men haven't been keen on dating a single mom with a teenage son, on whom she is entirely focused. When I do go out with a guy Jack has always been understanding yet protective. Today though he started giving the third degree and it pissed me off a little."

I nodded, "I can understand where he's coming from. You've been each other's entire world; you've been there for him completely for pretty much as long as he can remember and now, he's grown and he feels a responsibility to protect you in return. I'd hazard a guess that he also has feelings for you he doesn't quite understand which is causing him to feel a little jealous and overreact."

"Feelings? You mean like..." She leaned in, and looked to the side like she was checking to see if anyone was listening, "sexual feelings?"

"Yeah, like that." She sat back abruptly, I couldn't read her expression, anger, confusion, nervousness. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything. I'm just saying that a 20-year-old guy, living with a beautiful, vivacious young woman who has been a significant emotional and mental presence in his life since he was born could very naturally develop a physical attraction to her. It could possibly be simple confusion fueled by hormones. Not really understanding what he was feeling."

"You're suggesting that Jack may be physically attracted to me?" She leaned in again "But that's incest, isn't it? Isn't that disgusting? Wrong?"

"I'm going out on a limb here, but I feel society made familial relations taboo because of the fear of genetic defects due to inbreeding excessively, and because oftentimes you only hear about incest involving the abuse of one of the participants. Young girls or boys being forced to engage sexually, a sister or mother being abused by a stronger family member. The power imbalance and the forcing of compliance is the issue. But to me, it is no different if a teacher coerced a student, or a clergyman coerced a parishioner.

If it is a consensual act. If it's an act of mutual love and not the exertion of power and dominance then I don't see anything wrong with it. Personally, I think family members loving each other, in all ways, is beautiful, and highly erotic."

We sipped our coffee for a while, she was thinking over what I said just as I was.

Here I am on a first date, hell, on

my first

date and I opened my mouth and insinuated that incest turns me on. I cannot understand how I made it this long in life without killing myself through my utter stupidity.

Shawna set down her cup. Looked at me and smiled. "Well, you have certainly given me a lot to think about. It helps me understand Jack a little better, I think". She gave me a little smile, "I need to make sure Jack is okay and knows I'm not mad about this morning, and I think I need to be more careful around the house. I don't want to inadvertently encourage him."

"Oh no, I wouldn't change a thing," I said. "I would go home, make sure things are good between you two, and go about life as usual. Take note of his behaviors to see if he is showing interest. He may just be watching out for you instead of 'watching' you. I don't know."

"What if he

is

watching me, what should I do?"

"Eh, if it was me, I wouldn't do anything. Unless it makes you uncomfortable, giving him something to fantasize about wouldn't hurt him, or you. As long as you feel okay about it and he seems to be enjoying it, there's no harm done."

Shawna eased out of the booth and I followed. She hugged me tightly, pulled back a little, and kissed me on the lips. "Thank you for the coffee. I enjoyed it a lot. If you're interested, I'd love to do it again."

I smiled. "I'd like that. Perhaps next time you can come to my place unless you'd feel more comfortable here?"

"Hmm, your place would be nice. It would allow us to chat more openly I think."

"So next Saturday then? Same time?"

"Absolutely. Text me your address and we'll make it a date." She smiled, gave me another tight hug, and this time I swore I could feel her nipples pressing into me. I held the hug longer than appropriate, but she didn't pull away. I let go of her and told her I'd see her later and I watched her walk out of the diner. I realized that was the first time I had seen her in something other than her poofy skirt and it was indeed a good view. Small hips and a little ass, with a nice little bubble shape to it. The last thought I had before she was out of my line of sight was how it would feel to have that sitting on my face.