Sister Sister - Episode 6/7

Sister Sister E6/7

Julia's home truths

On her last day, Julia got up in the early hours to leave Paul's room and his life for the last time.

"Don't put on the light, Paul. I don't want you to see me crying and I can't look at your face because if I do, my courage will desert me. It would be so easy to stay with you, but so selfish. There would be consequences for Martin and my kids. I love you Paul and in another life that would be enough, but not in this one." She started sobbing and could not put up a fight as Paul put his arms around her.

Paul's voice did not sound like his own. "We have loved each other no matter how brief our time together. It's something I will always cherish. I don't know if I will have such passionate feelings for anyone ever again. You want to go back to what you have and I don't, that is the difference between us. I also know you will have to tell Martin the truth, as I will tell Teri. I won't say goodbye to you because I can't bring myself to. Have a wonderful life, Julia. Let's just say, I'll see you later."

Julia found the strength to pull her clothes on and leave the room before her heart broke completely.

*

At the airport, Julia and Justine sat in silence; lost in the memories of everything that had happened and the implications for the lives they were returning to.

Justine joked. "Has this holiday been everything you dreaded?"

"Yes, no. Being with you again has been nice and meeting Paul was wonderful, but I'm physically and emotionally drained. Plus, I'm not looking forward to telling Martin. I can't lie." Julia sat wither head in her hands.

Justine gave her sister a questioned look.

"No Justine, I can't lie."

Justine signed. "Okay then, but pick your moment, don't make it your first words as you walk in the door."

Julia nodded. "Are you and Adam going to see each other again?"

"We have not made definite plans, but he may come by when he finishes at the end of the season. He's a lovely guy, and he treated me really well, but he is young, only 28 for Christ's sake. Even if he was looking to settle down, he would want to start a family at some point and I can't go through all that pain again, even if it were possible. I think my chance for a family has passed. What about you and Paul?"

"There's no way I could have a relationship with him that was not physical. I don't want to screw around behind Martin's back." Justine raised her eyebrows. "All right, again. Screw around behind his back, again," said Julia, judging herself before others could judge her.

Justine gave her a hug. "Don't be so hard on yourself sis, you are human and imperfect just like the rest of us."

Julia's phone rang. It was a number she did not recognise. She answered it.

"You did not give me your number for a reason and I feel guilty for taking it," said Paul. "But the truth is I could not let the last words between us be those we said in the shadows. Your world may change in ways you did not plan and do not want. If you find space in that new life for me, call this number or the one on the card I put in your purse."

Julia felt her resolve failing. "Paul, you are the most wonderful man and this is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I have to do it alone and see where the chips fall. You deserve so much more than you are getting and if I've made you as happy as you have made me these last few days, then you need to find someone who can commit to giving you that full-time. Please don't wait for me."

Paul's voice choked, "I understand Julia. You have a wonderful life. I'll see you later." He ended the call.

Julia broke down. "Oh, Justine, what have I done? Why can't I just sleep with a man? Why do I have to meet a marvellous man, fall ridiculously in love with him, sleep with him, then break his heart?"

"Because that's who you are, Julia. Come on, the gate is open for our flight. Let's get out of here before we both do something stupid." Justine had visions of them turning around to track down their men and never returned home.

*

Martin was waiting with drinks poured when their taxi pulled up. Justine offered to come in with her for moral support in case she bared her soul at her earliest opportunity, but Julia said no.

The atmosphere in their home was strange. Martin and Julia sipped their drinks nervously, their senses alert to an impending threat. Their welcome home kisses were tentative, unsure of themselves. When they hugged, they felt the tension in each other; like two people in a lifeboat clinging on for dear life. They skirted around conversation while Julia fed her clothes into the washing machine. Martin talked trivia about his trip to Holland. It was obvious they were both avoiding something. The storm broke at bedtime, when the darkness gave them strength to voice their fears.

Julia uttered the words men dread. "Martin we need to talk." She gave him a moment to compose himself. She did not want to dismiss what happened with Paul as `just some bloke she fucked on holiday'. He did not deserve that, and nor did she. She wanted Martin to understand what had driven her into the arms of another man for the first time in their marriage; because if they did not deal with it, what was to say it would not happen again? In the time it had taken for these thoughts to flash across her mind, Martin pre-empted her next words.

"Yes, we do Julia, something happened when I was in Holland. I don't want it to change things between us, but you have to know, and I'll understand if you can't forgive me."

They had been lying at opposite edges of the bed, but now they turned to face each other, meeting in no-man's-land.

Julia's heart was in her mouth. She had psyched herself up so much to get the words out she had not heard him properly. "Martin, I need to tell you about̶"

Martin put his finger on his wife's lips. "Please, Julia let me go first, before I lose courage. Do you remember years ago when I was studying for my Ph.D., I had to do undergraduate teaching? One of my students was a young Dutch woman called Jenke. She came to our barbecue when you were pregnant with Daniel. Nothing happened between us then and I am ashamed to say it was only because she rejected my advances, because she met you and said it was not fair on you. She was young and carefree, and her interest in my work flattered my ego. If you remember back then, I was not in the running for the world's best husband and father to be. I did not understand what it was all about."

In the early years of their marriage, Julia feared Martin yearned for his freedom, and would rather be with one of his young students rather than trapped with a wife and kids. She had mentioned this often, looking for reassurance, but she stopped saying it when he got angry and said she was just being stupid. Julia realised her instincts had been right, even if he had been unsuccessful in his pursuit of this girl.

Martin continued, "I didn't know, but she works at the University of Utrecht now and colleagues invited her to the party they threw after we won the EU contract. It was such a surprise to see her. After the tension of the bid, the drink got to me and I unwound. We got talking. Jenke had married briefly but was now separated. She asked me if I remembered the offer, I'd made her all those years ago. I said yes. She said ask me again, so I did. We spent the next three days and nights together. I know it was wrong. I did not do it to hurt you. But I was a different man in a different place. Our life together was somewhere else." Martin was panting when he finished. He had not drawn breath during the whole of his confession. His dread of how Julia would react soon replaced the relief he'd got from saying his piece.

Julia's mind tumbled. She was in no position to grab the moral high ground, but he'd proved all her fears correct. She had to answer him. "Martin, I am hurt. Hurt by what you did in Holland, but just as much for all the years when I feared you wanted other women. You never reassured me; you just said I was stupid to have such worries. But it was true, wasn't it?"

Martin put his hand on his wife's cheek. "Yes, I did, and I am sorry. It took me so long to grow up. When Daniel was born, I finally understood what it was all about. I didn't need to validate myself by bedding other women. When I looked at Daniel and you in that hospital bed, I found all the validation I needed." Tears were flowing down his face now.

Julia knew he was telling the truth, but wondered why it always took a crisis for him to open up to her. "So, tell me Don Juan, how many students did you bed?"

"I asked two, and they both rejected me. I don't think I would have made a living at it."

Julia laughed despite the tension. "I don't know what that says about me for choosing you."

"It says you are kind and loving and I was luckier than I deserved."

"Are you going to see this Jenke woman again?"

"No, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing. We were both just curious to find out what might have been. Besides, I was uncomfortable with parts of it."

"Not the lying down parts, I bet."

"Please Julia, I'm trying to explain. I told her the morning after I would have to tell you, and Jenke said I was the guiltiest married man she had ever been with. I think she's a bit of a black widow, and my pulling prowess had nothing to do with it. Anyway, it ended for me when I got in the cab for the airport. We said goodbye and did not even bother with the pretence of swapping phone numbers. That's the end. Once again, I am very sorry, Julia. I hope in time you can forgive me."

Martin studied Julia's pain.

"Was she a good fuck, Martin? Did she do stuff you would not ask me to do?" Julia could not help herself for throwing that at him, even though she had nothing to be pious about.

"For Christ's sake Julia, she was just different. Apparently, you know what different is yourself, from what you are trying to tell me!" he replied with a barb.

Julia thought she deserved that and did not rise to it, but took it as her queue to confess.

"You are right Martin. I met someone. I had no intention of looking and before you say anything, it was not Justine's fault. I met a wonderful, kind, interesting man and I fell in love with him in a day."

Martin could not suppress his cry of anguish. His shoulders heaved and his chest felt tight. "I knew you could not sleep with someone at the drop of a hat. You are not like that. Are you leaving me, Julia, is that what you are saying?"

She saw how frightened he was at the prospect and how upset she would feel if he turned around and told her to go. Deep down, they still loved each other. Her instinct had been right. That was why she could not be as committed to a new relationship as Paul seemed to be. She knew it would never have worked out between them long term because of the feelings she still had for Martin.

"No, I am not leaving you, Martin. I said to Paul at the outset that it would not change my life. That I would tell you what happened when I got home."

"What about him, this Paul? Does he want to see you again? Has he got a wife?" Martin could not keep the jealousy out of his voice. It was no longer anonymous. Not just a bloke who had shagged his wife on holiday, but a man she had felt deeply for. His chest burned with pain.

"I won't be seeing him again, although he is keen. He is a kind man in a terrible relationship. He needs to find a woman who can give him the rest of her life, not just three days."

"Ha! Three days. The magic number. The same time as me and Jenke. What a strange symmetry. Happily married couple spend a few days apart and they are shagging other people like they've been let off a leash."

"Speak for yourself Martin, but we are not as happily married as we think. Our relationship has become fragile, and we both discovered there could be other people out there for us; people who could make us happy. We don't have to put ourselves through this if it's not what we want." Julia had not intended to up the ante, but she wanted a more positive commitment from him.

"Julia, I love you. I have never stopped loving you, but somewhere along the line I got lost. Perhaps we both did. I seemed to have more time for you and the kids when I was at the University; work was only part of my life. But now with this new job everything else takes second place and I don't know how that has happened. I don't want to lose you and the things that really matter; just because we need to make a living. We need to make this work together."

Julia hugged him to her chest. She knew it was not just the job, but that was the focus for things that had been going off track for some time.

"I don't care about the extra bloody money you make now; it's not making us happy. I want back the Martin I fell in love with. Is he still in there?" Her tears flowed as she felt the relief of his familiar touch and smell.

"He's still here, Julia. There is no vacancy to fill, no matter how bloody nice the other candidate might be." To prove his point, he kissed passionately. Julia responded to his caresses, glad that other clever hands had not robbed her husband of the ability to please her. She stroked his hair and the back of his neck. Martin was aroused more by her gentle caresses than the skilled clinical touches of the woman he had been with so recently.

She reached for him but her hands felt clumsy, as if her recent couplings with Paul has made her forget what she and Martin did.

Martin sensed her awkwardness. "Let's start again, Julia. Let's pretend we are two people who have just met and we are trying to work out how to please each other." They were both aroused at the thought of their fantasy selves.

"Kiss my toes, Martin," Julia commanded. He held her leg and nibbled each one, sending minor shocks up to her groin. Julia opened her legs and spread her lips wide and played with herself. This was something she had been too embarrassed to do when Martin has asked her in the past. She lay right back and trailed her wet fingers to her puckered hole. This had also been a taboo area for her. Now she took his hand and circled his index finger around the opening. "Gently Martin, until I get used to it."

Martin was so excited. He straddled her waist and licked up and down her cleavage. She knew what he wanted. Julia pushed her breasts together, creating an inviting target for his straining cock. He thrust between her breasts, enjoying the fullness of them. As his swollen cock head appeared, Julia leaned forward to capture it in her mouth and tease the sensitive underside with her tongue.

Martin's legs gave way, and he had to stop. He returned to her open thighs and entered her. His wife felt different somehow. It all felt new. He felt the need to reclaim her. As he slid in and out, he pushed his index finger into her bum and could feel himself on the other side of the thin membrane of her anus. This double penetration was too much for Julia, as she came, she mouthed obscenities into Martin's ear, which made him shoot.

They woke again in the night and this time their lovemaking was more sensual and intimate, like it had been at the start of their relationship. He hugged her, and she felt Martin was trying to reassure her.

"It's okay Martin, I like both and we should do both. There is a place for intimacy and a place for raw fucking. I will not be a prude about it anymore."

"Really?"

"Yes, Martin. I will take you on holiday and you won't be able to walk for a week afterwards. That's a promise."

"I need the practice then," he said, getting between her legs again.

They would make it. They'd had a close call, but they had come through this crisis together and would be stronger because of it.

-0-

[Concluded in episode 7 - New beginnings]