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It was circled there on the calendar on the wall. I stood there looking at it and thought that it was still months away, so not so close, but then came the thought that it was close -- really close, and I felt a knot in my stomach. My 40th birthday. It was coming. It was strange -- I had never had any problems with any previous birthdays. I was really happy when I turned 21. When I turned 30 it was not a problem. I was established with a job and a career and I didn't miss the uncertainty of my 20's at all. I had several friends who dreaded turning 30. I'm an Asian woman as are many of my friends. When I turned 26 and again at 27 my parents had asked me, "Will your boyfriend ask you to marry him this year? You aren't getting any younger, you know." Most Asian parents of girls are this way. They want their girls married by the time they are 26. In fact, the same is true of Asian parents and their sons, although they cut their sons a little more slack and don't bug them so much about it, but all of my Asian friends who are males told me that their parents were also complaining that they weren't married yet if they had not married by 28 or 29.
Before I turned 28 I told both of my parents not to say anything to me about my age and marriage. I told them I was happy with my life and that I didn't need a husband to be happy. It was true -- I really did feel that way. My parents saw that what I had told them was sincere and they also could see that I really was happy. They also both love me a lot and respect my choices, so they stopped asking me when I was going to marry. When I turned 35, my mother took me aside and told me that she was proud of me and didn't care if I married or not. I was really shocked! I didn't expect that at all! She went on to tell me that many of her friends had told her that their married daughters were not happy in their marriages. The husbands cheated on them, or couldn't get good jobs to support their families, or had drinking problems, or were just lazy. My mom told me that she had only one friend who had a happily married daughter. I'll never forget, she looked straight into my eyes and said, "Good you not marry. Many men just trouble. You enjoy your life." I thought my mom and dad were happy together but her remark made me wonder a little about that.
My 30's had been good years. I had a good income, good health and I was enjoying life. I had boyfriends when I wanted them, and when I didn't want them I could hook up for sex anytime I wanted to, even during the Covid pandemic. I'm a lucky woman; there's no doubt. My parents gave me good genes. I'm not a beauty queen but I know I'm attractive and I've never had any difficulties getting boyfriends and hookups. My mom is pretty and buxom and I was lucky to get her genes. Most of the time the first thing that guys notice about me are my 36C's. That annoyed me for awhile in my 20's when I wanted them to like me for who I am, but I eventually accepted the fact that most guys love tits and for most guys the bigger the better, and mine are magnificent, if I say so myself.
I really didn't have anything to be fearful of turning 40. My parents weren't freaking out that I wasn't married yet. I had a good job, not much debt, lived independent of my parents and did whatever I wanted to do. I was able to stay in good shape by doing yoga and hitting the gym mostly. Less frequently I would go running or swimming. I had put on a few pounds over the years but those pounds were in the right places. I had nice curves and a bubble butt that always got plenty of looks after they had checked out my tits. Yet...40. Forty. Something about turning forty soon was not sitting well with me. One day a person is 39 and the next day she is 40. Logically, its not a big deal, but I caught myself looking at the calendar and wondering what life would be like once I actually turned 40.
