I walked up the sidewalk in the rain towards the lighted porch. The weather matched my mood. I had come home from my office on campus and found a note. "Sorry, I don't think this is going to work our. I've gone back to Tennessee. Karen." I guessed that she had gone back to stay with her aunt.
She had left me and I was stunned and angry and depressed and sad-and somehow lighter and freer. But I needed to talk to somebody and that's why I was walking up to Greg and Rosemary's door. They owned a bookstore in town and I had spoken to them once or twice when browsing. They were also the teachers of the young adults class at the local church and they had told me when I visited the class a few weeks ago that they were always available if I needed anything. At the time I hadn't really paid attention, but now I did need someone-someone who would just listen - and Greg and Rosemary had seemed like that sort of people.
I rang the bell and stood close to the door to get out of the rain. I heard a movement within and then the door opened as far as the security chain would let it. There was silence for a moment and then Rosemary said," Oh, it's you-I didn't know who would be calling tonight." The door closed and then re-opened a second later as she put the chain back up on its holder.
"Come in out of the rain--- miserable night. I don't usually keep the door on the chain, but Greg's away at a bookseller's convention and I feel a little safer with it on."
I stepped inside and suddenly I felt foolish. I didn't know these people and here it was already past nine on a rainy night and I was bringing my problems to them. Or her rather. With Greg gone I was even less sure that I should be there.
"What can I do for you?" she asked "Come in, sit down."
"I-I just wanted someone to talk to and you said... No, it's stupid, I'm sorry I bothered you, I'll just be gong."
"Nonsense," she said. "Sit down on the sofa and tell me about it."
I took off my soaked jacket and hung it up and went into living room and sat on the end of the sofa. I had never really looked too closely at Rosemary before. She had a kind face-late 40's or early 50's I guessed. She was wearing a modest, dark blue dress which buttoned down the front and dark blue hose and high heels. Is this how she always dressed at home, I wondered? She was about 5'4"-average height I guess with a comfortable looking rounded body. She had curves in all the right places, but they were soft curves-she definitely wasn't a "hardbody."
"What is it you wanted to talk about?" she said with a sympathetic voice. She could see that I was upset. I was sitting rather stiffly and twisting my hands together while I wondered how to start the conversation. I decided that the only way was to be direct. I had found out that anticipation saying something difficult is almost always harder than actually saying the words. Once you say something you often find a sense of relief.
"My girlfriend left me."
"Oh." She said this softly and very quickly. She didn't say anything else, so I went on.
"She wasn't there when I came home this evening from my class and she left a note-" and I went on to explain what the note had said, how I was completely taken by surprise, how I felt-angry and sad, but free, and scared to be alone. I must have talked no-stop for 10 or 15 minutes. Rosemary nodded and made sympathetic noises until I stopped.
"Do you feel better now, having said all that to me?"
I nodded in agreement.
"Let me go put some water on, -- I'll make us a cup of tea or coffee if you prefer."
"Tea is fine," I said as I watched her walk into the kitchen.
She came back a moment later. "It will be ready in a few minutes," she said. She sat down on the other end of the sofa. "You must be really feeling low. I'm glad you felt you trusted me enough to tell me about this-something really personal. I've seen your girlfriend and she was gorgeous and seemed very vibrant and outgoing. It must be hard to lose someone like that."
"It is" I would miss all the fun we had together, all the serious talks we had, all the shared work of cooking and cleaning-and the sex, which frankly had been exceptional. Karen had been a screamer and I had never known such tremendous orgasms before-- either from a woman or for my self.
"I don't mean to compare myself with you," began Rosemary, "but I have an idea of how you feel. You see-well, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but since you trusted me I guess I can trust you-- I feel the same way."
I paused for a moment, digesting what she had told me. " Greg's left you?" I asked tentatively.
""No, no, it's not quite like that-it's just-well, I suppose you could say that he has. He's emotionally absent and, well, there hasn't been anything physical between u for more than a year. When I try and discuss it with him he just insists there's nothing wrong. I feel abandoned and... "
I saw her lip quiver and her eyes were glistening. "I better go check the water," she said. She walked into the kitchen again. I didn't know what to think. I hadn't expected a personal revelation form her. But I sympathized with her-- as she did with me.
She came back carrying the tea on a tray. She set it down on the coffee table and began pouring. I noticed that the top button of her dress-as well as the bottom one were undone. This didn't really reveal very much-just a bit more of her chest, not a sign of cleavage and her nylon covered knee when she crossed her legs.
