Miles took Linda and Richard on a mini tour of the ship, and showed them everything that was easy accessible. The inside swimming pool looked very much like one she had seen, while on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera on the last spring break. The sorority had sponsored and chaperoned it. There were girls from all over the country. It was one of the worst trips in her life she recalled.
Not a man on board except for the crew, and as far as she was concerned, none of them had been worth Richard's pinky finger. There were thousands of nice juicy pussies going to waste. Had any of the fraternities picked up the information about the trip, there would have been a score of powerboats following the ship all the way to Mexico and back. The whistling, yelling and screaming would have been deafening.
A love boat, it was not. There was only one half way decent man on board. He was the cruise director, however Linda didn't like the competition. There were over two thousand giggling, screaming sexy college girls on board, all after the same guy. When the week was up, he was lucky to escape with his life. Horny sorority sisters are not a good group with which to deal.
They took a tour of Mazatlan and went to the famous bar called "Senior Frogs". Sixteen girls were placed on "special judicial report", for removing their blouses and dancing topless on the tabletops. Talk about girls gone wild. The special report would be a letter sent to their parents, if they were caught doing it again. For some strange reason, the tour guides took everyone through the central meat market. It was horrible as there was more blood than a "Jason" movie. Someone made the comment about the cute little birds flying around in the gigantic market. The guide said,
"Those aren't birds. Those are flies."
At least a third of the girls became vegetarians after that. There was a panic when one of the younger girls came up missing. The police were notified and it was thought that they would have to hold the ship. Two of the chaperons almost had a nervous breakdown. After the trip, six of the chaperons out of the fifteen that went, refused to have anything to do with the sorority in the future. Four of them were past sorority sisters. They described some of the girls as animals.
Mary Stewart, the missing eighteen-year-old girl, made it back to the ship twenty minutes before it sailed. She told the chaperons that she got lost, however the roomer was that she met a very handsome man at Senior Frogs, and went with him to his hillside residence. She said that they were there from noon until seven o'clock, and then he brought her back to the ship. While she was there he used four condoms, and she used the six she had brought along on the trip. Her big concern was, where she could find some more condoms, as there were still two ports left. Puerto Vallarta and Cabo San Lucas, and she wasn't going to waste a minute.
The tour of the Great Mesmer had continued for at least two and a half hours. Linda was tired and wanted to lay down … with Richard.
Miles droned on telling Richard about his reverse osmosis unit that was their method of producing pure water, from the salty ocean by forcing the salty impure water through a semi permeable membrane, through which salts and impurities cannot pass. Miles added the unit produced several thousand gallons of fresh water from the ocean daily.
"That is the water we all drink. We use it in the swimming pool and restrooms; everywhere."
Linda felt that was one of the big differences between men and women, besides the obvious ones of course. She could have replaced his dissertation with one sentence.
'We take water from the ocean and purify it for drinking, swimming and bathing.'
Why did Miles feel it was necessary to explain the whole reverse osmosis process? Because he is a man she thought, and that's what men do. All this talk about water had made her thirsty. They went up some stairs, that both of the men called a ladder. Linda was fully aware of the difference between a ladder and stairs, but she didn't correct them, as she knew it was a naval term and another thing men feel they must talk about. They walked down the hall and stopped in front of a door that had a sign affixed to it. The sign had small paintings of cherubs and cupids. The words were painted in gold leaf, "Honeymoon Suite #1".
Miles laughed and said all the rooms have the same sign, but different numbers. Some of his friends who have been on the ship think it is a cute idea, however others believe it to be ludicrous.
"I think it is worth a laugh," said Miles in his thick English accent.
"It is funny, don't you think sweetie?"
"Cute," said Linda still thinking about something to drink. Miles opened the door and handed Richard the key. The room was very large, dwarfing the one on her nightmare cruise. There was a large sliding glass door leading to a veranda that had two adjustable deck chairs and a table.
She saw three televisions. There were two in the front room and a large flat screen on the bedroom wall. Each TV had a VCR and a DVD player. There was a large bookcase that contained many classics, videotapes and DVDs. When Linda was checking some of the titles, Miles said,
"We also have satellite hook up with three hundred stations. As you are port side you have a nice view of Mexico. Of course when we head north you will have only the ocean as a view. We can change your cabin to starboard then if you wish."
Linda saw all of their clothes hanging in the closet and their bags stored underneath.
"Our clothes!"
"Yes," said Miles, with a smile, chuckling, "I had two of the crew take the chopper to get them. I understand the hotel security became a little upset when the chopper landed on their front lawn scaring all of the birds. My lawyer will probably hear from them."
On a short dresser, she saw a bowl of fresh fruit, snacks and bottled water in a silver bucket filled with ice that said, "Yackamura Water." When Linda removed the cap and sipped some of it, she thought it was truly worth all of the reverse osmosis process.
"Well I'm going to leave you now as I have urgent business on the bridge. Actually I'm just getting all the details ready for Kiko's birthday party; and deflowering, ha ha!"
Miles looked at Richard and raised his eyebrows, but Richard just shook his head. Miles then shrugged his shoulders and as he went out the door he said,
