"I'm bored." I put down my phone and nudged my friend Paige who was lying next to me on the bed.
We were hanging out in her bedroom as usual. My mom didn't want me in the house now that she had a new boyfriend to play with and Paige's dad was always happy to have me around. He always made me feel at home. When my dad died seven years ago, I must have spent a month living at Paige's place. At one point, we had fantasised about her dad and my mom hooking up so we could be sisters, but that never happened. Which was probably for the best.
"It's too cold to go out," Paige complained. "We can watch a movie, though."
I didn't want to watch a movie, I wanted to have fun. We'd come home from university for Christmas break, but although it was still a few days till Christmas, there seemed to be no fun parties planned.
But Paige was already up, tugging my arm. "Come on, Rose, we'll use the theatre."
Paige's dad was filthy rich and their house had a movie theatre. We never really used it, preferring to stay in her bed and watch it on her massive TV, but using the theatre would at least make us feel like we'd gone out.
With a sigh, I followed her downstairs. I'd really hoped for a bit of fun this break. My first semester at university had not been as exciting as I'd hoped. I loved all my courses, but campus life hadn't been great so far. Apart from Paige, my other flatmates were far too serious to allow house parties and I hadn't yet met any great guys. I'd lost my virginity in the dingy bedroom of a guy I'd met at a party, but it hadn't been the mind-shattering experience I'd read about. It had been uncomfortable and weird. I'd never seen the guy again and the whole experience had left me feeling a little bit disgusted. I wasn't averse to sex in theory--my overactive imagination and my own fingers kept me busy enough at night--but I had yet to have good sex with a guy.
Paige had been more lucky. She'd found herself a boyfriend in the first week and they were shagging regularly. She'd tell me with glee what new sex position her boyfriend had taught her. I was happy for her, of course. I loved my friend and I only wanted the best for her. But I was very jealous of her.
Maybe there was something wrong with me. I looked all right. My brown hair was long with just the right amount of curl. My breasts were maybe a bit too big, but I hoped that my tiny waist and long legs made up for that. Guys would always tell me how pretty I was--and then they'd take another girl up to the bedroom.
We made a pitstop in the kitchen for popcorn. I hopped on a bar stool while Paige put a popcorn bag in the microwave.
"Do you want a drink as well? We have cola, lemonade and cranberry juice." She made an apologetic grimace. Her dad didn't allow her to drink at home. which was ridiculous given the amount we drank at uni.
"Lemonade is fine."
She poured us two glasses while we waited for the popcorn to be done.
"You girls not going out?"
I turned at the sound of Mr Walsh's voice. He came into the kitchen barefoot, wearing shorts and a polo shirt. It was far too cold for something that summery, but I wasn't complaining. My stomach did a little flip when he winked at me. I wasn't stupid; I knew he still saw me as the little girl his daughter befriended not long after her mother died, but my body had recently awoken to the fact that Paige's dad was hot. He was tall, and although he wasn't as slim and muscular as some of the guys at uni, he was fit. His dark hair was streaked with grey, but that only heightened my attraction to him.
I hated how self-conscious I was around him. I always felt like my breasts were popping out of my top and my pants never seemed to fit properly. I had started dressing better when I came to Paige's house, but I still felt like my body was on display. And not in a good way.
Not that it mattered, as Mr Walsh didn't look at me that way. And why should he? If guys my age didn't even want to have sex with me, why would Paige's dad, who could have any woman in the world, be attracted to his daughter's friend? I was being ridiculous, but that didn't stop my heart from beating a fraction faster when he put his hand on my back and planted a kiss on my head.
"Hi Rose, how's uni these days?"
"It's good. Busy, but I'm still having fun."
"That's great. Getting good grades?"
I nodded.
"Do you have a boyfriend yet?"
My cheeks burned, but Paige saved me from an awkward reply. "Dad! Don't be mean to Rose."
He raised an eyebrow. "Not sure why I'm being mean. Why shouldn't Rose already have a boyfriend, look at her."
I was hot and flustered and took a sip of lemonade to hide my burning cheeks. The last thing I wanted was to confess to Mr Walsh that no one was attracted to me. I already felt enough like a freak.
Luckily the microwave pinged and Paige grabbed the bag and poured the popcorn in a bowl. "We're going to watch a movie."
I grabbed my lemonade and gave Mr Walsh an awkward smile as I passed him.
In the theatre, I gratefully sank in one of the chairs. While Paige fiddled with the lights, I sipped my lemonade morosely, feeling sorry for myself.
"Is there something wrong with me?" I hadn't meant to say it out loud, and I hated how whiny I sounded.
Paige turned around. "What do you mean?"
"Why don't the guys want to fuck me?"
She snorted a laugh while she sat down next to me. "What the hell are you talking about? All the guys want to fuck you. You should hear Brady and his friends talk about you."
My face flushed hot. "Brady talks about me? Doesn't that bother you?"
She gave me a shove. "Of course not. Just because he thinks you're hot doesn't mean he'll cheat on me. But his friends could do you."
I didn't understand. If all the guys were talking about me, why didn't any of them ever make a move?
