It had been a couple of days since I had the dream about Josh. It was hard for me to believe I would ever think of him that way. I did some research online about dream interpretations; all the details of it all saying the same thing that I wanted something more in my life. I realized I wanted sex.
I tried to forget about the dream with Josh but I couldn't stop thinking about him.
My husband, David, returned home from his work trip that week. I looked at him and felt like I was looking at a stranger. He's not a bad man, he's a good provider. But lately we lost something in our relationship. We have been married for 15 years and have two kids together. But not once, did I ever look at another man. We were both very Christian in our beliefs, so even thinking about someone else made me feel guilty.
After dinner, while the kids were in the other room watching television, I called him into the kitchen.
I kissed him softly.
"Hey, you. I missed you." I said sweetly.
"I missed you to." He said casually
I leaned in and whispered in his ear. "I really missed you."
He looked at me strange.
I admit we were never big on showing affection in public and sex was usually planned in advance but then it was usually uneventful. I couldn't remember the last time he initiated. I thought maybe he needed a little push.
"That's good to know." He said.
My hands cupped his crotch. I felt him jump with a surprised reaction.
"I really, really missed you." I said seductively.
"Oh.."
He understood what I was saying.
"Well, I..uh..maybe we can do something about that this weekend." He said.
There was no way that was going to happen. There was too much going on with the kids and we had Josh's graduation party.
"What's wrong with now?" I asked him
"Now?" he whispered "I'm a little tired form my flight..and the kids.."
I unzipped his slacks and pulled his cock out.
"Samantha, what are you doing?" he said as I knelt down.
"Showing you how much I missed you." I said
I was stroking his cock but nothing was happening. It was limp in my hand.
I looked up at him.
"Honey, I don't know about this.." he said nervously
I took his cock in my mouth and began to suck in softly. His whole body jumped as he moaned cautiously not to be too loud.
"Oh..Samantha.."
I kept sucking, bobbing my head taking his whole cock in but nothing was happening. His cock remained limp. I tried rolling it in my mouth with my tongue.
Suddenly, David stopped me and quickly zipped up his pants.
"What's wrong with you?" he said sternly
"I-I just wanted to show you how much I missed you." I said sadly
"Here? In the kitchen?"
"I thought it would be...sexy. We haven't done it in a while and.."
"We just can't do things like this. Not with the kids around." He said as he quickly left.
I was alone in the kitchen, still on my knees.
I started thinking about when I was that awkward teen in high school with the braces and the undeveloped body. How the boys never looked at me. How they didn't want me. It felt that way now.
That night we laid in bed with our backs to each other. His snoring made it hard for me to fall asleep. I kept thinking about earlier, how my own husband didn't want me. How he just walked away; I couldn't even make him hard.
Being rejected is a painful feeling, especially from your husband.
***
The next day was Josh's graduation party. I got to Angie's house early to help her set up. There were a lot of people who showed up, a lot of his classmates, relatives and such.
Angie and I were in the kitchen. I was replenishing the veggie tray, she was making her homemade hummus.
"You had his cock in your mouth and nothing?" Angie asked opening cans of chick peas.
"Nope, no signs of life what so ever." I said in frustration. "Maybe he has erectile dysfunction."
"Do you think maybe David is cheating on you?" she asked.
I never thought about that.
"How could he? He's never home." I said.
"Maybe with someone from work, or someone he met while out of town?"
That rejected feeling started to come back.
"Maybe he's just working too hard." I said defensively.
"Yeah," Angie said unconvinced "maybe that's it."
She clicked on the blender and we left it at that.
As I was cutting celery, I could see Josh outside in the back yard. He was with a pretty young blonde girl dressed in a small mini skirt and tank top. They had been together all day, laughing, talking. She rarely left his side. She was a giggly little girl. I hated her.
I started wondering if that was the kind of girl he liked; Blonde, long legs, perky breasts, young. Things I couldn't compare to. I was 40, married with kids and let's face it, I looked like it.. My breasts were average but gravity was beginning to have its effects on me. I was even dressed like a Mom in my frumpy jeans and button down blouse.
I suddenly felt like that awkward teen aged girl again. The one the boys used to make fun of for not having any tits. The one they said looked like a little boy.
"Does Josh have a new girlfriend?" I asked.
"I think so." Angie said pouring hummus into a bowl. "She's been around for a couple weeks now. Her name is Katie."
Katie. Even her name was cute.
"I think she was a cheerleader or a pom-pon girl. I never understood the difference." Angie said.
I really hated Katie.
"If I remember correctly from when we were in high school; they were both acceptable sluts." Angie said refilling the blender. "I think the pom-pon girls were more acrobatic sluts."
"Do you think Josh is sexually active?" I couldn't believe I ask that.
"I'm assuming he is. He's a good looking kind and young men are full of extra energy."
I suddenly remembered my dream.
"With all the girls he's dated, he has to be doing something."
"Well, he's an adult now and I can't stop him from sleeping around. I just hope he is safe and doesn't get some girl pregnant." Angie said, clicking on the blender again
As I looked at him trough the window, I imagined pulling him into his bedroom and riding him until I came all over his young cock. I would let him cum inside me.
He couldn't get me pregnant.
"Did you say something?" Angie said clicking off the blender.
My eyes widened, did I just blurt that out loud?
"I said, I'm sure he's smart enough not to get a girl pregnant."