Becky and I had celebrated our eighteenth anniversary in April...if you want to call it that. There wasn't much of a celebration. We had grown so distant that neither one of us seemed to care anymore. She had submersed herself in her work. I was between jobs looking for employment in another town not really caring if I had to commute or even relocate. We had little time for each other.
Her birthday had come and gone while I was out of town for my daughter's graduation. This was my youngest daughter from my first marriage and I was determined to make an appearance whether I was welcomed or not. This was probably my last chance to pretend that I had something to do with her success and I was not going to miss it. I couldn't help but feel a little guilty for leaving Becky alone.
Back at home, she must have felt abandoned. Even though we had not enjoyed each other's company for a very long time, being forgotten on her birthday struck a sensitive nerve. She took it out on me when I returned. She was relentless, reminding me of every transgression since the beginning of our time together.
Now, more than ever, I could see no hope for us. I wanted to find a job in another town and walk away. I wanted a fresh start. I wanted to be left alone. I wanted peace.
In all of this turmoil, she had taken a week of vacation from work. Seven days of her at home criticizing my every move, with me not working, would likely be more than I could stand. I was going to have to get along with her for an entire week.
Her plan for the week was to redesign and plant the garden. This consisted of relocating crossties, removing topsoil, and waterproofing the corners of a raised bed that had come with the house when we moved in. Someone else's design that was in desperate need of improvement. Once the bed was readied, she would plant the seeds and plants she selected for the season.
While gardening is not my favorite pastime, I decided to help. She would not be able to do a lot of the work by herself and it's not like I had anything to do anyway. This would be a chance for us to concentrate on something other than our failing relationship. I wanted to sweat and get dirty and hopefully have something to take a little pride in once our job was finished. We both needed the exercise and a little sun certainly would not hurt either of us.
I had moved the crossties prior to leaving for the graduation thinking that this unsolicited amount of effort would help support my cause. My ploy had not worked, but at least that much of the work was done. We would begin by removing the top eight inches of topsoil from the eight-foot by sixteen-foot bed and carting it to another location close by. This, the most physically demanding work we had planned, was to be done on possibly the hottest day forecasted for the week.
I decided to dress for the occasion and wore the worst t-shirt I owned. The sleeves had been cut out and the neck removed long ago. It wasn't much more than a tank top. I am not sure why it hadn't found its way to the rag bin before now, but I was glad and selected it for the day of shoveling and hauling. My shorts weren't much of an improvement. They were an old pair of athletic shorts from my days of working out at the spa. Certainly not appropriate for wearing in public anymore, they were a little short and a little snug for today's fashion standards. They would, however, let in a little more sun and be undoubtedly cooler for the work ahead. Being sexy or appealing was the farthest thing from my mind.
I was already outside and had begun slathering suntan lotion on my stark white legs and arms when Becky appeared. She was wearing a pair of blue jean cutoffs and a loose top. She went back in the house and reappeared with a bottle of sun block suggesting we use it on our face and neck since the lotion I had selected provided little protection. We finished our self-application of the various lotions and headed for the garden.
The forecast was surprisingly accurate, as the mountain sun had warmed the day to eighty degrees before noon. We shoveled and raked and hauled away the topsoil diligently taking numerous breaks to conserve our energy since neither one of us was in the best of shape. Sedentary lifestyles and hours behind a desk had conditioned us for little else.
Sometime during the morning, Becky had removed her bra and changed into a pair of shorts cut from an old sweat suit. I remember her mentioning that the bra and jean cutoffs were "cutting her into". When we broke for lunch, sometime mid-afternoon, she changed into a sports bra of sorts. I had noticed it in her panty drawer when putting away laundry, but really couldn't remember seeing her wear it before that day.
It must have been an hour or so back at work in the heat of the day that we had both sweat through our clothes. When she bent over a dark "V" had formed down the small of her back between her cheeks. I couldn't help but notice, but I was determined not to think about her in that way. It had been months since our last sex together and I had convinced myself that the only way to deal with such disappointment was to not allow myself to want her. If I didn't want sex with her, then her rejection could not hurt me.
Once, when she stood up to wipe the sweat from her face, I noticed two half moon circles of sweat that had soaked through underneath her breasts. They seemed to cradle her tiny breasts the same way I had cradled them a thousand times. Just above the sweat moons, her nipples were erect and swollen from the heat. Becky was not really what you would call "flat chested", but she had always wished that her breasts were a little larger.
I thought of how sensitive they had always been. At times, she couldn't stand for them to be touched. Other times, she would push her nipples into my face wanting them licked and suckled gently. She had taught me to nibble them with my teeth. She delighted in this pleasure and pain threshold. At first, I was afraid I would hurt her but in rare moments she writhed in near orgasm as I bit harder. I had decided long ago that I would trade the sensitivity of her tiny mounds and perfect nipples for any of the larger breasts I had ever seen or was likely to see.
At that moment I caught myself. It seemed I had been staring at her for a long time since so much had passed through my mind, but it couldn't have been more than an instant for she never noticed. Once again, I pushed the thought away. I was not going to set myself up for more disappointment.
That evening, with the hardest day of work behind us, we were both exhausted. We showered, had diner and settled in to our respective places for some television. The next day would be hot again, but the work would be a little less strenuous. We had tried to pace ourselves, but we both agreed we had almost overdone it. Becky was worried that we would not complete the project before she had to return to work. I assured her that we had plenty of time and she seemed appreciative of my help and support both physically and mentally.