Always having a plan is over-rated as I found out in my senior dating life. A few years after my husband died, I decided to try online dating thinking I would find someone about my age to spend time with. Maybe my target men were looking for younger women, or I just wasn't their type—curvy, but needed to lose a few pounds. Very few guys showed interest; I just wasn't making any headway with my approach.
When younger men messaged, I blew them off thinking they were fake or looking for money. Sam didn't let up so easily. We chatted, talked on the phone and set up a lunch date for Memorial Day weekend. I decided to play it cool and not make the age difference an issue. It seemed to work; we hit it off and set up a dinner date a couple weeks later.
Because it was a weeknight, I figured that we would have a nice meal and get to know each other better. We were experiencing a heat wave, so I went inside the restaurant to wait. It wasn't long before I saw him drive up in his old minivan which had no working air conditioner. Sam entered with a cheery attitude, a dimple in his cheek and a beautiful smile. (Gen-X guys seemed to have the nicest teeth; I don't remember anyone getting braces when I was a kid.) He wore his hair a bit long, this time in a ponytail. I rose for a welcoming hug then sat channeling my nervousness by dangling my sandal from manicured toes.
We talked and laughed over excellent food at an Asian place we both wanted to try. We went over the day's work, our families, and our high-mileage cars; we both liked swimming for exercise. He had joint parenting time with teen sons; I lived alone in a house that was too big for one.
There was no place to walk or hang out in the neighborhood, and the heat made sharing a kiss in our cars out of the question. Soon we would be out of there headed to our respective homes. I hoped for a quick kiss then a drive home following the sunset. When the check came, I grabbed it saying, "I've got it".
"What," asked Sam. "Do you want me to put out?"
We were both professional people—equals, and I knew from reading dating articles that many men appreciated a woman's offer to the split the bill, or pick up the tab. I figured it was my turn since he paid for lunch on the first date; it was only fair. He was surely making a joke, but I heard myself respond with, "Condoms".
"You're on. My house is a little messy, but it's close. We'll need to make stop on the way," Sam replied grinning. We were out of there in no time, me now in my car in a state of disbelief over what I agreed to. Oh well, I guess I might as well enjoy it, I told myself. I trailed behind, and as promised, we detoured into a drugstore parking lot. He gestured that he'd be right back while I waited with the engine idling. A couple minutes later Sam bounded out with a little plastic shopping bag, a six pack of beer, and big smile.
I followed the van into the driveway of his ranch house on the outskirts of town. We entered the house through the garage filled with bikes, sporting equipment and an 80's Corvette that wasn't going anywhere soon. Now in the kitchen Sam was dripping with sweat. He offered me a beer which I declined then popped one for himself taking a couple big gulps.
"You need a shower," I said.
