What you've missed: I woke up from a coma after a motor cycle crash, to find that my penis could talk, and more than that, when it wanted, it could take control of the rest of me. It was able to sing in a way which it called 'pussy charming' in such a way as to entice nearby females to come and shag me, which it demonstrated for me with a 50 something overweight nurse called Elaine.
After my pussy charming cock continued to provide me with mature, BBW pussy, I started to call it Marlon, because when it was soft it reminded me of Marlon Jackson from the Jackson 5. A nasty encounter with Doris the cleaning lady convinced me that I'd been going wrong lusting after skinny young girls in the past. My recovery continued well, until during an evening session with Elaine the Nurse I asked her whether I'd be able to go home soon. She informed me that first I needed to speak to Dr. McGowan. Elaine had overheard me talking to Marlon several times, and was worried that I was still suffering from my head trauma. She had arranged for me to see Dr. McGowan - the psychiatrist!
Marlon promised me that he wouldn't make me do or say anything bad in front of Dr. McGowan, so that she wouldn't sign my release papers, but I wasn't sure whether I could trust him or not. In the meantime we had a visit from Geraldine the vicar, and Marlon revealed that assholes are good for shagging, but not so good for having a conversation with.
In our meeting with Dr. Julia McGowan she revealed that she knew all about my sexual adventures since awakening from my coma. I came clean, as it were, and told her all about Marlon. She, in turn, revealed that she had her own talking pussy, a German speaking Katherine Hepburn lookalike. I persuaded Julia to discharge me, if you'll pardon the pun, so that Marlon could give her Katherine exactly what she wanted, in the course of which Marlon made me give her such a licking that it severed the connection between Julia and her talking pussy, and returned her to 'normal'. I began to worry what would happen to me if I was ever 'cured'.
Returning to my flat after so many weeks in hospital, I found that my landlady, Mrs. Golightly had let it to a small, seemingly crazy young woman called Cassie Smith, who attacked me with mace. When we called Mrs. Golightly to come and sort it all out for us, I begged Marlon to charm her pussy so that she would give me back my flat. To my surprise Marlon refused, and explained that he couldn't, because both Mrs. Golightly and Cassie Smith were ladies who like ladies. On my urging Marlon improvised a new pussy charming song, which brought the two of them together, and after this they offered me the chance to move back in as Ms. Smith's flatmate.
Surprisingly, Cassie and I started to get on pretty well. So much so that when she asked me what the deal was with me talking to Marlon all the time, I told her the truth. When she didn't believe me, Marlon revealed a few secrets that her pussy had told him. She didn't speak to me for a couple of days. In the interim, I returned to my parents' house, where, in the course of Marlon giving her a good seeing to, their neighbour Mrs. Goody revealed that they had gone off on a cruise on the same day that I had my accident. When Cassie got over her shock, she asked me to teach her how to talk to her pussy. I didn't think that was possible, but Marlon was only too happy to try to prove me wrong
Cassie proved to be a willing learner, and within a few lessons she was able to hear her pussy well enough to know that it spoke in a French accent, and christen it "Madame Edith". Meanwhile, I returned to Tescos to try to get my old job back. The new manager, Dolores Gusset, seemed sceptical at first, however she fell under the spell of Marlon's siren song. Unfortunately, I'd accidentally switched on the store tannoy, which meant that most of the other ladies over the age of consent in the store had fallen under the spell too. Thus did we unleash what Marlon memorably dubbed 'pussy-mageddon'.
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"Streaky Friday" was the headline in the local paper when they ran the story on the front page the next day. Almost every woman -- customers and staff alike -- in the store simultaneously stripping themselves 'butt nekkid' and demanding Marlon's immediate attention. This was a superstore as well -- in Marlon's memorable words there "Sho' is a helluva lotta pussy on the hoof!" Considering what he'd just done to Dolores, Marlon seemed remarkably enthusiastic about tackling the pussy avalanche in front of us. I tried to confront him with the reality of the situation,
"Marlon, we can't!"
"Correction, asswipe -- you can't! But you don't got no say in the matter. Boy, we is lookin' at a dream come true -- a goddamn pussy tsunami -- and I's going swimming!"
"Go swimming in that, and we'll both drown!"
Marlon's reply was stifled as I fell under the crush of onrushing sex-crazed shoppers. I felt a brawny, hairy arm grab hold of my wrist and drag me out of the scrum. It was Dolores. Like the NFL player she surely must have been in another life, she put her head down, and charged her way out of the office, sending prospective sexual partners flying on both sides, and clearing my way through, out into the warehouse, and the back door, and freedom. As she waved me off, Dolores gave Marlon a playful squeeze, and whispered,
"You passed the interview. Congratulations! You start back on Monday!"
My heart rate didn't return to normal until I was on the bus home, and three quarters of the way back to the flat. Marlon had gone suspiciously quiet. When we were finally alone on the back seat of the bus, I whispered,
"Marlon? Marlon! You still there?"
Nothing. For a moment I wondered whether it might be for the best if Marlon had now sung his last song. Then I thought about banging Dolores on her desk, with Marlon pistoning in and out of her pussy, and me sucking her pumpkin tits dry, and it was obvious that no, it wouldn't be for the best at all. Not for him, and certainly not for me.
"Marlon!" This time I didn't care who heard it.
"I...am.. not... speakin' to you, you mammy-jabbin' party pooper!"
Ah, abuse! He was feeling better, then.
By the time I got in, Cassie was in the kitchen, and the TV was on in the lounge. It was in the middle of a BBC news report -- from the very store that I'd escaped from only about an hour earlier. "-- and the witnesses all tell a similar story, that about an hour ago, in this ordinary suburban supermarket, suddenly, with no warning, a huge number of female shoppers and staff suddenly removed all of their clothes, and stormed the manager's office. " The scene cut to the outside of the store, where the camera focused on a middle aged lady, wrapped in an oversized police overcoat, with her hair in curlers underneath a light pink scarf, captioned 'Eyewitness - Mrs. Gwyneth Pewbs'. Gwyneth Pewbs began to speak. " Well, we was all mindin' our own business, shopping. I'd only come in for a French stick and a cucumber, and then I came over all funny, like. Suddenly I had an overwhelming desire to take off all of me clothes, and jump on top of the next man I saw and ravish him. Well, that's not normal, is it? I mean, that hasn't happened to me in Tescos for weeks."
By now, Cassie had re-entered the lounge, carrying a plate of stuffed crust pizza.
"Mmm, " she said, her mouth half full, as she gestured towards the tv with a fork, " Sounds like Marlon's handiwork." Then she looked at the shocked and guilty expression on my face. "Oh my God -- it WAS you and Marlon, wasn't it!"
"It was an accident!" I spluttered, and proceeded to tell the whole story about my accident with the tannoy. Cassie sat there when I finished, shaking her head, half in shame, yet half in admiration. Then she rose from the sofa, and knelt down so that her mouth was about a foot away from my crotch.
"Marlon," she began, "I know that I can't hear you, but I have to have a serious talk with you. You have to remember this - with great power, comes great responsibility!" She then collapsed back on the sofa, and then started saying "Oww -- stop that, it tickles!" I looked at her askance, and she spluttered.