What you've missed: I woke up from a coma after a motor cycle crash, to find that my penis could talk, and more than that, when it wanted, it could take control of the rest of me. It was able to sing in a way which it called 'pussy charming' in such a way as to entice nearby females to come and shag me, which it demonstrated for me with a 50 something overweight nurse called Elaine.
After my pussy charming cock continues to provide me with mature, BBW pussy, I start to call it Marlon, because when it's soft it reminds me of Marlon Jackson from the Jackson 5. A nasty encounter with Doris the cleaning lady convinced me that I'd been going wrong lusting after skinny young girls in the past. My recovery continued well, until during an evening session with Elaine the Nurse I asked her whether I'd be able to go home soon. She informed me that first I needed to speak to Dr. McGowan. Elaine had overheard me talking to Marlon several times, and was worried that I was still suffering from my head trauma. She had arranged for me to see Dr. McGowan – the psychiatrist!
"That's another fine mess you've gotten me into, Marlon!"
"Don't lay that Laurel and Hardy shit on me, you asshole!" he retorted angrily.
"A psychiatrist! A bloody shrink! They think I'm crazy now!"
Marlon sounded thoughtful when he replied,
"Well, talkin' to yo own penis ain't exactly the mark of a sane individual, is it?!"
That was a point. I mean, maybe I was going mad. By all accounts it had been a hell of a crash, and I knew for a fact that I'd been in a coma for 6 weeks. That was bound to have done some damage. But on the other hand, since I'd started my acquaintance with Marlon, not only had he initiated me into the delights of intercourse with older, larger ladies, but he'd made sure that I had a regular supply on which to practice. I mean, if this was madness, then who the hell would be interested in sanity?
What I was interested in, though, was getting out of hospital. It had started to prey upon my mind that I hadn't had a single visitor from outside the hospital since I'd come out of my coma, no family, no friends, and nobody from work, either. Did I still have a job? To be honest being a deputy store manager in Tescos wasn't all it was cracked up to be – and it had never been cracked up to be much in the first place – and it wouldn't be the end of the world if I had to look for something else. It would have been nice to know, though. Whichever way you looked at it I needed to get out, and it looked like I was going to have to impress this Dr. McGowan that there was nothing wrong with me. Now, there was one slight hitch to this plan, as far as I could see.
"Marlon?"
"Do you have to call me that, dipshit?"
"Sorry – but the resemblance is uncanny in a certain light. Marlon. . . you won't. . . you won't do anything stupid in front of Dr. McGowan will you?"
"What you talkin' bout?"
"I don't want to stay here any longer. I . . . I have to get on with my life. I need to find out why my family and friends haven't come to visit me, I need to find out if I still have a job. If you make me do or say anything that makes them think I'm going crazy - "
"Alright, man, I hear you. Don't you worry none. I ain't gonna do nothing that ain't in your best interests – y'all can be sure o'that."
I left it there, but I couldn't put it out of my mind completely. Can your own cock lie to you? I was hoping that I wouldn't find out the hard way, should you pardon the pun.
I had to wait a whole weekend before my appointment with Dr. McGowan, and as it happened I did receive my first ever visitor on the Saturday evening. There was a knock on the door, and then a head popped round and smiled at me, a lady's head. I would have guessed that she was somewhere between 44 and 50. She had straight, dark hair, cut in a shoulder length bob, and her brown eyes were rather pretty, and a little naughty too, albeit that she wasn't wearing a trace of makeup.
"Hello," she trilled, and then stepped into my room, "I don't think we've met. You must be Jamie. I'm Geraldine. I'd thought I'd pop in and say hi while I was doing my rounds. "
She held out a hand, and it was at that moment that I noticed the black collar with the white patch around her neck. She was a vicar! A flipping lady vicar!
"Hot damn yeah!!" shouted Marlon as he rose to new heights within my pyjamas. Geraldine either didn't notice, or was too polite to mention the tenting which was so obvious through my bedsheets. She was a big girl, was the Reverend Geraldine. Not tall, not much over five feet I would have said. But there was a lot of her. She had an ass that just didn't know where to quit, and her boobs jutted out of her black clergyman's top like a continental shelf.
" So how are you feeling, Jamie?" she asked, " I heard that you had quite a nasty bump."
"Hell, I sho' would like to give her a nasty bumpin'!" shouted Marlon.
I couldn't find the words to reply after that, but managed a sickly smile and a little shrug of the shoulders.
"Well, have you started feeling yourself again?"
Was that a deliberate innuendo, I wondered? BY this time she was sitting on the end of the bed, and patted my shins through the covers.