My cock sounded a bit like Samuel L. Jackson!
I'd better explain that.
The last thing I remembered before waking up was the tow truck swerving into my path, and then nothing else until I heard the nurse gently calling my name,
"James ... James, can you open your eyes again for me?"
I did as she asked, and everything was blurry, and for a long time it seemed as if her voice was coming to me from a long way away.
"James, I don't want you to try to talk yet. You've been in an accident, on your motorbike. Don't worry if you don't remember anything just yet, your memory will start to come back. You've been asleep for a long time. But don't worry, you're going to be alright. You just get lots and lots of sleep, alright?"
The blurry blue shape in front of me, which I assumed was the nurse, moved further away, and then there was the sound of a door clicking shut, what sounded like miles away. For a moment there was silence, and then much, much closer, a voice, which said, in a deep, American Southern accent,
"Hell, I thought she'd never go! Well, lookee here! Seems like Sleeping Beauty just gone woke up!"
I could hardly move my head, but I managed to turn slightly right, then slightly left. My eyesight had cleared a little, enough for me to see that there was nobody else in the room.
"No good looking up there, boy. You getting' colder all the time."
"What ... " and you have to understand that it was very difficult for me to find the words to say, and even more difficult to get my lips and tongue to make the right sounds, "wh ... who are you?"
The voice, when it replied, sounded really rather pissed off,
"Well, what the hell do you think I am? I'm your cock, you dipshit! "
The effort of making even this little conversation proved too much. I don't know whether I fainted, or just fell asleep. Whatever the case, though, I didn't wake up for hours.
I was awoken by the sound of someone, or something, shouting,
"Hey, asshole, wake your sorry ass the hell up!"
"Wha... "
"Cut the jive, man! Call the nurse and get these tubes the hell out of my mouth. I wanna proper piss now that you're back in the land of the living. Push the button in your hand."
Somehow I found the energy to do what he ... it told me. The Nurse came, and I told her I needed to pee... well, I tried to tell her. She said that I was better leaving the catheter in, but somehow I found the words to tell her that if she didn't remove it, then I would. Right at that moment I had no idea where those words came from. I found out soon enough. She looked highly disapproving, but in the end agreed to remove it. I was so little in control of my body at the time that I hardly felt anything, but as she pulled out the offending tubes I could have sworn that I heard an American voice screaming. The nurse clearly didn't hear anything though.
After she'd helped me take care of emptying my bladder, the Nurse, who I could see clearly from her name tag was called Elaine, helped me back into bed, and warned me to try to get back to sleep.
As soon as she left my room, that damned voice began talking again, and this time the voice sounded even deeper, and much, much clearer than before.
"Well, now, ain't that a lot better now, boy? "
"I don't ... "
"No you don't, but you better believe me, you gonna from now on. One hell of a lot."
"What?"
"For chrissakes! Oh, well, since we ain't going nowhere for the time being, I suppose that I'd better fill you in. Right - you - we - been in a motor vehicle accident. You an that damn bike, we was slammed into the road by some dipshit driver of a towtruck. You been in a coma, man. Six weeks! Six weeks I been sitting here, filling our ballsack, waiting for you to come round - "
