Pussy Charming

My cock sounded a bit like Samuel L. Jackson!

I'd better explain that.

The last thing I remembered before waking up was the tow truck swerving into my path, and then nothing else until I heard the nurse gently calling my name,

"James ... James, can you open your eyes again for me?"

I did as she asked, and everything was blurry, and for a long time it seemed as if her voice was coming to me from a long way away.

"James, I don't want you to try to talk yet. You've been in an accident, on your motorbike. Don't worry if you don't remember anything just yet, your memory will start to come back. You've been asleep for a long time. But don't worry, you're going to be alright. You just get lots and lots of sleep, alright?"

The blurry blue shape in front of me, which I assumed was the nurse, moved further away, and then there was the sound of a door clicking shut, what sounded like miles away. For a moment there was silence, and then much, much closer, a voice, which said, in a deep, American Southern accent,

"Hell, I thought she'd never go! Well, lookee here! Seems like Sleeping Beauty just gone woke up!"

I could hardly move my head, but I managed to turn slightly right, then slightly left. My eyesight had cleared a little, enough for me to see that there was nobody else in the room.

"No good looking up there, boy. You getting' colder all the time."

"What ... " and you have to understand that it was very difficult for me to find the words to say, and even more difficult to get my lips and tongue to make the right sounds, "wh ... who are you?"

The voice, when it replied, sounded really rather pissed off,

"Well, what the hell do you think I am? I'm your cock, you dipshit! "

The effort of making even this little conversation proved too much. I don't know whether I fainted, or just fell asleep. Whatever the case, though, I didn't wake up for hours.

I was awoken by the sound of someone, or something, shouting,

"Hey, asshole, wake your sorry ass the hell up!"

"Wha... "

"Cut the jive, man! Call the nurse and get these tubes the hell out of my mouth. I wanna proper piss now that you're back in the land of the living. Push the button in your hand."

Somehow I found the energy to do what he ... it told me. The Nurse came, and I told her I needed to pee... well, I tried to tell her. She said that I was better leaving the catheter in, but somehow I found the words to tell her that if she didn't remove it, then I would. Right at that moment I had no idea where those words came from. I found out soon enough. She looked highly disapproving, but in the end agreed to remove it. I was so little in control of my body at the time that I hardly felt anything, but as she pulled out the offending tubes I could have sworn that I heard an American voice screaming. The nurse clearly didn't hear anything though.

After she'd helped me take care of emptying my bladder, the Nurse, who I could see clearly from her name tag was called Elaine, helped me back into bed, and warned me to try to get back to sleep.

As soon as she left my room, that damned voice began talking again, and this time the voice sounded even deeper, and much, much clearer than before.

"Well, now, ain't that a lot better now, boy? "

"I don't ... "

"No you don't, but you better believe me, you gonna from now on. One hell of a lot."

"What?"

"For chrissakes! Oh, well, since we ain't going nowhere for the time being, I suppose that I'd better fill you in. Right - you - we - been in a motor vehicle accident. You an that damn bike, we was slammed into the road by some dipshit driver of a towtruck. You been in a coma, man. Six weeks! Six weeks I been sitting here, filling our ballsack, waiting for you to come round - "

" - so you're my cock?"

"Damn straight. "

"You're my talking cock?"

"Hell, don't act so surprised, boy. All cocks can talk. It's just that you can't hear us. But you listen all the same. When I'm hard, you're listening - you know what I'm talking about."

Maybe it was the painkilling drugs that I later learned they were keeping me on at the time, but somehow, what it was saying seemed to make sense to me, Yet even in my drug befuddled state I couldn't help asking one obvious question,

"So how come I can hear you now?"

"Shee-it - I don't know man. I ain't no neuro surgeon. Y'all got your brains scrambled bad, and maybe you got a couple of wires all tangled up with each other. Whatever. Still, seems to me this ain't happened a moment too soon. Because you, boy, ain't exactly been a big hit with the ladies, you understand what I'm talking about."

I couldn't help being defensive,

"What do you mean? I get my share of - "

"Man, if you was getting' any less of a share, you'd be a monk! Hey - you just too damn shy, it ain't your fault. But I'm gonna change all of that. All you got to remember is this - I'm in charge. From now on, I do the thinkin'."

Befuddled as I was, I wasn't going to be disrespected by my own penis like this,

"Oh no you're not!"

In response he said nothing. However I was suddenly aware of a strange feeling from my groin. I could hardly feel any other part of my body, and yet I was more than aware that I was getting a huge erection, a huge uncomfortable boner which needed immediate attention.

"Yeah, boy," shouted my exultant cock, "how d'you like them apples? C'mon, grab holda me and jerk me off like it's going outta business. You know you want to!"

Damn straight I did, to use his own words. But you know what? My cock might have been in full working order, my eyes, ears and voice might all have been on the mend. But my hand - well that just wasn't going to play ball. Literally.

"Damn!" It appeared that my cock's powers, impressive as they were, did not extend to bringing my poor exhausted limbs back to their full youthful vigour. I couldn't help sniggering.

"You think that's gonna stop me?" it shouted, and then suddenly it stood up straighter than ever, and all at once the air was filled with the sound of singing.

"What the hell are you doing now?" I spluttered,

The singing stopped,

"Shut your mouth up coma boy!" it snapped, "I'm pussy charming! Now shut your goddamn mouth and watch me work."

So that's what I did.

The singing wasn't, well it wasn't exactly sweet, and it certainly wasn't tuneful. But it was sure as hell effective. I reckon that maybe three or four minutes passed, then the handle of the door to my room moved, and it opened to reveal Elaine, the Nurse.

"Hot damn, yeah!" screamed my cock.

Elaine, oblivious, approached my bedside. In all honesty, Elaine didn't exactly resemble any of my very few sexual partners up to that time. For one thing she was a good thirty years older, being, I would guess, in her fifties. Not that she looked that bad for it, her dark brown eyes were clear, and seemed to have a mysterious twinkle that I hadn't noticed before. Her figure could not, in all honesty, be called trim, but she was plump, rather than fat. Her ass was built for comfort rather than speed, and the buttons on the top of her uniform seemed to be struggling to contain her chest.

She took hold of the blankets covering all but my head and shoulders, saying,

"Nothing to worry about, I just need to check you for bed sores."

She leaned over me, so close that her breasts were almost touching my face, so close that I could see the outline of her black bra through her thin nylon uniform.

"Nothing to worry about at all, " she cooed, as she unbuttoned my pyjama top, and slowly stroked the hairs of my chest, moving her hand gently down my stomach.

"Yeah baby! Come on! " cried my exultant cock.

"Nothing to worry about," she whispered, and her voice sounded more breathless, as her right hand urgently unbuttoned my pyjama trousers, " just need to check your legs. Don't want you being sore, now, do we?" She yanked them down, way past my ankles, and my cock screamed with encouragement, and began singing again. It obviously had the desired effect, since she got off the bed, hoisted up the skirt of her uniform, and pulled down a surprisingly sexy pair of lacy black knickers. She deftly stepped out of them, unbuttoned her uniform, folding it neatly across the back of the visitor's chair, thenwalked across to the bed, placed a firm hand upon my cock, straddled me, and began to give me the ride of my life.

"Ooohhh yeesss!" she moaned, "ooh you naughty, naughty boy!"

I'll be honest, I had never previously considered anyone of my mother's generation as a potential sexual partner, but hell, this old girl could go!

"Shit, bitch!" I screamed, "Get yo' titties out now!"

Where the hell had that come from? If I'd been able to I would have clapped my hands over my mouth. I never, ever used language like that. Shit! It was my cock! It was his words, coming out of my mouth. Mind you, it worked.

"Oooh," Elaine moaned, grinding away on her appointment with orgasm," oohh, yes, you dirty, nasty little boy, yes!" and she reached behind her, snapping her oversized sensible bra, freeing a wonderfully large and soft pair of breasts.

"Down!" cried the cock monster out of my lips, "down here. Bring them to my mouth." She did just that, showing remarkable suppleness for a lady of her mature years, still continuing to bounce up and down, her slick pussy expertly pumping my screaming cock.

It was a shame that my hands just weren't working, since it would have been incredible to feel the full , overripe roundness of her tits, but even as it was the feel of her swollen nipple on my tongue, was heavenly, and all the time the pressure in my balls was mounting to unbearable heights.

"Geronimo!!" shouted the monster, and at the same time as he exploded deep within her, Elaine herself shuddered to a shattering climax, before falling exhausted onto my chest.

There was silence for a minute or two, then sounding much quieter, and more breathless, my cock, gave a satisfied sigh,

"Now, that's what I call good pussy!"

After a moment or two Elaine disappeared into the bathroom area attached to my room with her clothes to clean herself up. She emerged fully dressed a couple of minutes later.

"Well, James," she smiled, "that was absolutely lovely, dear. And you're perfectly clear of bed sores as well. I'll be back to see how you're getting on later." She leaned over me, and for a moment I wondered if some 'afters' were on the menu, but all she did this time was plant a little kiss on my forehead, before turning, and wobbling her way out of the room.

I was at a bit of a loss as to what to say, and it seemed as if my cock wasn't in his previously talkative mood. At length I asked,

"So... that's... pussy charming?"

"Damn straight, baby."

"So what is it, some kind of magic?"

He snorted,

"Ain't no magic about that. Or if there is, it's the oldest magic in the book. No, see, what it is, is telling the pussy that you is here and you is ready, if the pussy is interested. Some times pussy don't want to know... but a lot of the time pussy do."

"So ... er... pussies... talk as well, then?"

"Man, do they ever?! They never stop talking. Man, if you could only hear what that pussy was yelling as she was bouncin up and down on top of me and the boys here. I tell you something, that was one hungry pussy, and she weren't no lady neither!"

It was becoming all too much for me to take in. Besides, I felt incredibly tired, happy, yes, satisfied, absolutely, but exhausted.

"I can see I have a lot to learn." I mumbled.

"Yeah, you ain't just whistling Dixie, bro. But luckily, you got me to teach you! Cos man, I am the professor of pussy!" As I fell asleep I could have sworn that he was still laughing.