I reluctantly attended my best friend's twenty-first birthday party purely out of loyalty as I'd worked a double shift that day, knew that there were unlikely to be any females present other than some of his relatives, and that his over-protective, self-righteous mother would make sure everybody left for home long before anyone had relaxed enough to have any fun.
So, after making small talk with Sammy's aunties and uncles, and having what with any woman other than his mother would have felt like a flirtatious conversation, I saw a bed through an open door upstairs, succumbed to boredom and exhaustion, and lay down on it.
I had no intention of staying there for long, and certainly not falling asleep, but it must have been several hours later when I was roused by the sensation of somebody spooning me from behind as they unzipped my trousers.
"I've been a little upset all evening thinking that you'd sneaked off home after we'd connected like we did earlier," whispered Mrs Patterson breathlessly in my ear, "so this really is a very nice surprise, but we'll have to be very quiet as Sammy's sleeping in the room next door."
I grabbed hold of Mrs Patterson's wrist, lifted it away from my crotch and gently rolled over. She was wearing nothing but a black bra with matching panties, and had a very wide grin creasing her face from ear to ear.
"How much have you had to drink Mrs Patterson?" I whispered, trying to politely deter her from groping me as I had no intention of doing anything except getting out of bed and going home. Had I been drunk as well, it's possible that I'd have thought differently, but not only was she the mother of my best friend, she was more than twice my age and almost double my size: and that meant being too heavy to push away.
"Shh," she said, putting a finger to my lips while pressing her other hand on my shoulder, "We don't want to wake Sammy."
"No," I smiled, "We really don't, and I doubt we could be quiet no matter how hard we tried, but it would wrong for us to do anything anyway. We'll both regret it in the morning."
Mrs Patterson lifted leg, slid a flabby thigh across my stomach and rolled on top of me.
"No we won't," she slurred through an even wider grin, "I've been day-dreaming about you for ages, even before Sammy's father left me, so the only thing I could possibly regret is not giving you what I promise will be the best fucking of your life."
I really didn't want to do anything except leave, but not wanting to offend her managed to whisper, "Now what I meant was, if we do anything now, I'll always wonder whether it had happened just because you'd been drinking, and that would really bother me. Why not wait until we're alone then you can make one of your fantasies happen?"
She sniggered: "I'm about to, even if we will need to be very quiet so we don't wake Sammy."
"I'd rather not have to think about disturbing him," I smiled trying to slide out from under her and added, "and surely you wouldn't either? If we wait until we're alone, we won't need to be quiet and you'll be able to do anything you want."
"How do I know you mean it?" She snorted derisively, "I'd rather fuck you quietly now than risk not getting another chance."
I chuckled quietly and hoped that she'd be happy with: "Give me a pen and I'll put in writing."
Mrs Patterson leant across me, pressed her enormous breasts into my face, pulled a pad and a pen from the top drawer of the bedside cabinet and sniggered drunkenly, "Write something convincing or I'm not getting off."
I took the pad, held it with the back of my left hand pressed into her cleavage, and wrote while reading aloud: "I, the unsigned, promise that Mrs Laura Patterson can fuck me in any and every way she's ever thought of," then added a date, my name and a signature, and passed it up for approval believing it would be discarded in embarrassment when she sobered up.
"Perfect," she giggled, before pulling some sort of tape from another cabinet drawer, stuck the note to the headboard over my left shoulder, collapsed on top of me, and within seconds fell asleep.
She was too heavy for me to move easily, but as I was still exhausted and conscious that Sammy might hear me leave even if I managed to get out from under his mother quietly, decided that I might as well go to sleep myself.
It was daylight when the sound of my best friend and his mother having some sort of animated conversation downstairs woke me, but I couldn't hear what it was about, and I couldn't move. My ankles were tied together and onto something out of sight under the sheets which I guessed was a foot board, my arms were tied to the headboard with what looked like two silk scarves, and I was gagged with what felt like another silk scarf tied round the back of my head.
I tried shaking, but the knots were tied too well to loosen, and the bed didn't rattle against the wall, so I just stared up at the ceiling and tried in vain to hear what Sammy and his mother were arguing about. They rowed for about five minutes until I heard the front door open and close, followed a minute or so later by Mrs Patterson striding purposely into the bedroom wearing a beige toweling robe held together by a cord tied around her waist.
She stopped in the doorway, smirked, "Sorry about the scarves, but I thought it was the best way of making sure you didn't make a noise and accidentally let Sammy know you were here. We've just had a massive row about me flirting with you last night. He thinks you got embarrassed and left early so he's gone to find you and apologise."
Mrs Patterson then started laughing, leant forward, hooked an index finger in the gag and pulled it under my chin. "Here," she said smiling almost politely, "have some water." She twisted a bottle cap, poured water into my open mouth, and sat on the bed. "Now," she said, as her smile turned to a wide grin, "where shall we start?"
"By untying me?" I asked half-joking but fully expecting her to do it as Sammy had apparently left us alone.
