Chapter 1
On a sunny Saturday afternoon in June, I wash the dishes in the sink and look at the bright scene outside the window in front of me. At the side of the house, in between the house and the neighbour's brown wooden fence, is the driveway to our detached garage where Rhys is playing basketball with his friend. I know his friend from many previous visits, and the sports teams they used to play together in high school. We haven't seen Ryan in a while though, and not very often since they graduated two years ago. I hadn't met a lot of Rhys' university friends. Except for his girlfriend, who is nice enough, if not a little...silly. Or maybe I make her nervous, I don't know.
I doubt it. Intimidating is not how I'd describe myself. Colleagues tell me often how I'm always smiling, and happy. I suppose I am, but my public self is different from what I show my close friends, family, or my private self. Rhys, however, has always been shyer, more careful with people. Growing up in a house full of extreme extroverts, he can be very social with friends, but still he has an inward-ness that I only have when I'm by myself.
As the boys play a friendly, relaxed game, I watch them but not paying attention to the game itself. They are quick and athletic, a picture of healthy youthfulness. I sigh. I envy their youth. I wish I had appreciated my own beauty when I was their age, but instead I had fretted about my looks, sought approval from men and women, measured my worth by my ability to attract. I guess I was silly, too, and I remind myself to be more compassionate to Rhys' girlfriend.
I wonder, not for the first time, at the changes in just 2 years. Rhys is more confident, happier. I think he's found his people at school. He really is so handsome, I think, as I watch him brush his hair from his eyes. He is Eurasian; the Asian part is from me, his Chinese mum. In ethnicity only. I have never been to China, and don't speak Cantonese. Well, only Yum Cha dishes, which both of us love. He's so tall, over 6 feet, which he reached in high school. I'm pretty tall too at 5'9", for a Chinese woman.
His height really comes from his Dad's side of giants. His father and I separated, then divorced 3 years ago. We were so young when we had children, and then married, reverse order of the conventional way. It took me a long time to get used to not having a partner. It was heart breaking, but best for both of us. We separated in a remarkably amiable way; we kept our shared friends, have family dinners together. Both of us are not the type of person to be bitter, or blaming, or spiteful like I've seen happen with other separated couples. I like to think we are much more emotionally intelligent than that. The kids were crushed at first, but they adapted quickly, and now that they are adults, they spend so much time away from home anyway. My daughter, a year younger than Ryhs, moved out about a year ago. Like me, she was always extroverted and independent, friendly and gregarious. She was busting to have her own place with a couple friends. Rhys still lives at home, while he is studying. So, it's just Rhys and I in our cosy house.
The window is open, so I can hear their sporty banter through the screen. Rhys is talking about some computer or gaming something, and I tune out the chatter. Having finished the dishes, I grab a wet cloth to wipe down sink and counter. Ryan, the same age as my son, is a different type of boy. Well...man. He's more self-assured, cocky even. "Hey, Mrs. C. ", he had greeted me when they had come in for a glass of water. It's Ms. C. but I didn't bother to correct him. When I looked at him to say hello, he gave a cheeky wink and leaned on the kitchen island. I had laughed and shook my head.
