'I've seen you in here before, haven't I?' she said.
He nodded. Just slightly. 'Umm... probably,' he said.
'Is this your local?'
'I suppose so. It's convenient. The beer's OK. Also, I quite like Charlie's taste in music. That's something that is not to be underestimated in this day and age.'
She laughed. 'Are you on your own?'
'On my own?'
'Yeah. You know... you usually seem to be on your own. When you're in here.'
He nodded. 'In that sense, yes. I suppose so. Since my wife died.'
'I'm sorry,' she said.
'Hey... these things happen.'
'Unfortunately,' she said.
For a moment or two, they both seemed to be waiting for the other to say something.
She spoke first. 'Look, I'll come to the point,' she said. 'I'm married. I'd even go so far as to say
happily
married - in as much as I'm happy to be married to the man to whom I'm married. But I also need a bit of extra from time to time. And I have a particular liking for older gentlemen.'
'Does the man to whom you are married know about this?'
'Oh, yes. He knows. It's not a secret. Well... it's not a secret between us, anyway. We've talked about it. He understands.'
'When you say older...,' he said.
'Well, I'm forty-nine,' she said. 'But I do have a bit of a thing for gentlemen in their seventies. Does that count as a fetish? Yes, I suppose it probably does.'
He nodded.
'How old are you?' she asked. 'If you don't mind me asking.'
'Seventy-five. Going on seventy-six.'
She smiled. 'That's what I thought. Shall I go to the top of the class?'
He laughed.
'More importantly,' she said, 'shall I buy us a drink? And then we can talk further.'
He laughed again. 'Shouldn't I be buying the drinks?'
'You can buy the next round,' she said.
'OK,' he said.
'Are you retired?' she asked when she returned with the drinks.
'Not by choice,' he said. 'I always promised myself that I would work until the day I died. But the gods had other plans - as they often do. First, my employer went tits up. And then I had a small health problem that turned out to be not so small. I was still determined to get back on the horse, but after two years of unsuccessful attempts, I had to concede that Pegasus and I were probably no longer the dream team we once were.'
'I like you,' she said. 'You have a sense of humour. I like a sense of humour in a man.'
'What you see is what you get,' he told her.
'Do you still get hard?' she asked.
He was just in the process of taking a sip of his drink and he almost sprayed the entire pub. 'Gosh, you cut to the chase, don't you?' he said. And then he added: 'But, if you must know, no. At least not reliably. The medications.'
'That's OK,' she said. 'Tongues and fingers... we can still have fun.'
Their first liaison (liaison was his word; she used the term hook-up) took place the following Wednesday.
'Is there anything in particular you would like me to wear?' she had asked.
'I will leave it up to you.'
'Garter belt perhaps? Stockings?' she said.
'That would be nice,' he said.
'Black?' she suggested.
'Perfect,' he said.
The London weather was not good on that particular Wednesday. In the morning, there were a few showers. But, by afternoon, the showers had turned into proper rain. And it was cold.
She arrived shortly before three.
'I didn't think you'd come,' he said, taking her coat.
'Come? Well, I haven't come
yet
,' she said. 'I've only just got here. But I will come. I promise you that. Just press the right buttons and I'll come like the runaway train that came over the hill.'
He laughed. 'I assume there will be instructions. You know... where to find the right buttons. How hard to push, etcetera?'
'Oh, yes,' she said. 'I come with full instructions. I think you'll find I'm very user-friendly.'
'Good,' he said. 'Because, to be honest, I'm a bit out of practice.'
'Don't worry. It'll be just like the first time all over again.' And then she said: 'Do you remember your first time?'
'My first time? Well, my first time was a very long time ago,' he said. 'But... yes. Lois. Lois Street.'
She laughed. 'And you were superman, I suppose.'
'Lois was the morning receptionist at the agency where I worked. We had two. Receptionists I mean. Lois did the mornings and Tina - at least I think her name was Tina - or was it Hannah? Anyway, Tina - or Hannah - did the afternoons. I think I must have told Lois that I was going to visit some bookshops in my lunch break. And she said: "No. Come to mine, and I'll make us a cup of tea." So we went to hers. She had a small flat just off the other side of Tottenham Court Road. "We'll have the tea afterwards," she said. "But first you can fuck me." Just like that. And I remember thinking: Yes. Why not? How hard can it be?'
'Was it fun?'
'As I recall. Yes,' he said. 'Mind you, Lois was a few years older than me. I was very much the new boy. I seem to remember that she sort of directed proceedings.'
'And what became of Lois?'
'She moved to Manchester. Or was it Liverpool? She said that she had been wanting to fuck me for some time. We only did it that once. She left the following week. Would you like a drink?' he said. 'I have some wine. Or...'
'Yeah. That might be nice,' she said. 'Get us both relaxed.'
She followed him into the kitchen and watched while he poured a couple of glasses of chilled pinot gris.
'The bedroom's just through here,' he said, as he handed her a glass of wine and nodded to his left. 'I assume we are permitted to allow ourselves the comfort of the bedroom.'
'Oh, I think so,' she said. 'Did you and Lois allow yourselves the comfort of the bedroom?'
He shook his head. 'We did it on her kitchen table,' he said.
She smiled and nodded. 'The scene of many a good fuck. But let's use the bedroom, shall we?'
She followed him into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, still holding her wine. 'This is nice,' she said. 'And you're so
tidy
.'
He laughed. 'I have a girl comes in. Twice a week. She was here this morning. I got her to change the sheets.'