My son is in the 2nd grade and his school was having their teacher/parent conferences. For those who might not know it is where parents are invited to spend twenty to thirty minutes talking with their son or daughter's teacher about their progress during the year. Now my boy is a good student and we hadn't received any complaints from the school so our conference was a formality at best. Knowing this my wife didn't reschedule her yoga class and opted to miss it. That left me to go alone and I did begrudgingly. I had a hell of a lot of work to get caught up with at work and besides sitting down with some old bitty to talk elementary school didn't thrill me.
We were scheduled for 8:00 pm that night which made me the last parent to talk to my son's teacher this particular evening. I came straight from work and was wearing my navy blue pinstriped suit. I'm 38 and still work out regular so I can still get an occasional eye from the ladies. I found his class after asking about three different groups of parents where room 15 was. I knocked on the door and after about a minute, the door opened and a woman of about 50 answered. She was wearing a purple dress that covered her barrel shaped frame and horn rimmed glasses. I thought to myself, school hasn't changed one bit. I apologized for being early and asked if she wanted me to wait the 7 minutes for my schedule time. The lady tilted her head to the side and sized me up and then chuckled. It was the kind of chuckle where you wonder what you said that was so funny. I wasn't part of the joke apparently I was the joke. It was my turn to turn my head and shrug, not understanding her frivolity.
"I'm Mary Wilson, Michael Reynolds grandma," she said still obviously amused. "Michael is in your son or daughter's class, Miss Sanders and I were just finishing up Mikey's conference, we are through now and you can go in," she added and extended her hand. I shook her hand and stammered an apology and something about her appearing very 'teachery'. She chuckled again and squeezed past me in the doorway.
Collecting myself, I walked into my son's classroom and suddenly regressed back into a young boy, glancing around at the walls and all the things hanging there intended to excite and teach the youngsters who came into the room. The alphabet hung just below the ceiling and wrapped around almost to walls. Numbers hung there to, progressing 1 to 100 by ones, by twos, by 5's and then 10's. Artwork of all kinds adorned one complete wall and I suddenly remembered the taste of Elmer's glue and smiled. I saw macaroni shell artwork and remembered how proud I was of the Eiffel Tower I had made as a kid. I saw some of the pieces my boy had made and grinned at his creativeness. He was really a chip off the old block.
"Mr. Perris, Mr. Perris," a soft voice called to me seemingly a million miles away. "Mr. Perris?" a young woman behind a table in the corner of the classroom asked.
I smiled as I came back from a pleasant daydream and trip down memory lane. I shrugged at her and said I was having 'flashbacks'. The young woman smiled and motioned for me to come over and sit down on the chair across from her table desk. She looked young and I smiled and asked her if she was 'Miss Sanders'. She nodded in the affirmative and my eyes went wide. She looked to be about 23 or 24, probably fresh out of college and I wondered how my son could concentrate. I smiled to myself as I knew the reason, he didn't like girls yet. They were yucky and soft, not rough and tumble.
Miss Sanders smiled as I finally found my way to my seat and she began shuffling papers to prepare her for discussing my boy. As she looked down I looked her over and was thoroughly impressed. She was about 5'5 and 115 pounds. She had dishwater blonde hair and dark blue eyes. She was wearing a light brown frilly top and a tight pair of black khaki shorts. The frilly top was open in front and revealed a tight tube top that held her young pert breasts. If I had to guess, I would say a good B, maybe even a C cup and most likely store bought because of their almost perfect symmetry. What really caught my eye were her pearly white teeth, full lips, and slightly crooked smile. Miss Sanders was definitely not yucky, probably very soft and I couldn't think of anything but a rough little tumble with her.
"How old are you?" I blurted out just as she was about to say something. She stammered as I could tell she was taken aback by the question and was ready to give me her canned speech.
"I'm 24," she said with a smile and began to say something else.
"Man, I should be a circus carny," I said with a laugh. "I said 23 or 24," I announced proudly. Miss Sander's eyes went wide and she seemed speechless. She clutched her papers tightly and tried to press on.
"I'm going to say 5'5 and 113 pounds," I estimated, rising out of my seat. Miss Sanders stammered but didn't answer. She didn't know what to say or do so instead stayed speechless and in her seat.
"I'm 5'5 and a half but I don't what that has anything to do with why you are here?" she told me.
"I was right, now your weight?" I said as I looked at her sideways.
"Mr. Perris?" she scolded.
I was standing in front of her table desk looking down on her and waited. Miss Sanders hesitated and gave in with a shake of her head and a wry smile, "114 pounds as of yesterday on the scale at my gym," she revealed sheepishly.
She acted as if she felt foolish for acting along with me. She hoped answering me would get us back on track. She couldn't be further from the truth as the more she played the more emboldened I was becoming. She was proud of her shape and physical attributes and I was going to see just how far she would play along with me.
"Yes," I faked overwhelming enthusiasm with a pump of my right fist. Shifting gears, I moved back to my seat. Sitting down, I playfully looked her over top to bottom. She looked at me quizzically. "Hmmm, so you workout, aye?" I said and smiled. She nodded 'yes' and shuffled her papers in an effort to collect herself.
"Looks like it is working," I complimented her. "Let's see it!" I added and using my hand motioned for her to stand up. Miss Sanders smiled but declined and quickly looked to her paperwork for something to change the subject.
"Come on, lets see it," I egged her on. "You should be proud of your hard work," I added, refusing to let it drop. Miss Sanders had played along so far so I figured I might just be able get her to go all the way. She shook me off with a smile and nervous laugh. "Come on," I urged her and sat back. She still wasn't moved to stand so I repeated myself, "Come on, and show off a little."
"Mr. Perris," Miss Sanders protested and chuckled. She was trying her darnedest to get me back on track but still be cordial. What she hadn't realized yet was I was now trying my best to get in her pants if I could talk her out of them.
"Come on," I said with a wink and added, "Do it and we can get back to our conference." I was lying of course but since I couldn't move her to do it yet, I added an incentive.
"Mr. Perris!" she said more sternly but still without conviction. I didn't budge and she realized I was stonewalling her. She took a deep breath and I could tell she was thinking hard about it.
