"So is this something else on your bucket list, Spencer?"
"I've never been a fan of that term, but yes, it is something I've wanted to do for a very long time. When Jeff was alive we talked about it several times, but with both of us working and him deploying so often, it just never happened, you know?"
"I understand. And sorry about my insensitive choice of words. But yes, after we went to war in Iraq, all of our husbands were gone all the time. It seemed like they'd just get home then turn around and leave again. Iraq, then Afghanistan, then back to Iraq."
Spencer looked down then said quietly, "Not everyone came...home...from all of those deployments."
"Oh, Spencer, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to imply that..."
Spencer smiled and said, "It's been eight years, Millie. No offense taken. How is Brian, by the way?"
Spencer Monroe didn't want her friend's sympathy. She was simply stating a fact. A fact she'd lived with ever since that fateful day so many years ago.
She changed subjects as soon as the conversation began heading down Sympathy Lane. She and Millie Thomas hadn't seen each other since her late husband, Marine 1stLt Jeff Monroe, was laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery three months after his memorial service at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina, which took place exactly one week after his death in Afghanistan. She had no idea it took three months, even for someone like the late Senator John Glenn, himself a retired Marine Corps officer and national hero, to be buried in Arlington.
Spencer loved Millie and was thrilled to see her even if it was just for a few hours on her way across country for what might well be her husband's last tour of duty at Camp Pendleton in southern California. Spencer knew that she and Jeff would have been stationed there at least once had he lived as he'd fully intended to make the Marine Corps his career, but God or the universe or...something...had had other plans.
She'd nearly fallen apart when the white staff car pulled into her driveway that hot August day back in 2009. The events were still vivid in her mind'd eye even now.
She held out hope against all odds even after a Marine captain and a staff sergeant, both in dress blues, got out of the vehicle. But when she saw the Navy chaplain dressed in white, she knew.
Her knees had buckled and she'd fallen to the floor and began sobbing. The three men could see her as they looked inside, and the captain, who was from Jeff's battalion, knew her and Jeff personally.
He'd had to break a window to open the door in order to let them in. The window got fixed that same day, but her heart had been shattered. Over the years, she'd learned to hide it well, but Millie knew how badly Spencer had missed him. Perhaps one day she would find someone else, but for now she had her hobbies, and, okay, her...bucket list.
"If I could stay, I'd take the class with you, Spencer," Millie told her. "It sounds like a lot of fun."
"I'm really excited about it. I'm just glad it's summer, you know? The water will still be cold in Puget Sound, but with a wet suit, I think it'll be bearable. Besides, all the early stuff is done in a heated pool so..."
"Oh, I see. You really are roughing it then, huh?" Millie teased.
She and Spencer laughed, and for a moment it seemed just like old times. Except that, unlike Millie, Spencer no longer had a husband, and although they'd aged well, they didn't look quite the same anymore, either. Spencer had been 22 while Millie was just 21 the last time they'd seen one another. Both women had been distance runners, and Spencer had since done so many incredibly challenging physical things over the years that she was in far better condition now than she'd been even when Jeff was still alive. Even so, she knew she no longer looked the same. She also knew that considering the alternative, the inevitability of aging was not only unavoidable, but fine by her.
She'd rarely dated over the intervening years, but that wasn't due to any lack of opportunity. She just hadn't been ready—at all—the first three years, and her still heart wasn't in it the next three even as she began to try and reach out. But these last two years, she'd discovered she could still love again, and to her great satisfaction, her body had also learned the same lesson. Spencer smiled when she thought how making love really was a lot like riding a bike after her first time in nearly seven years.
For now, getting her open-water diving certification was the next 'great thang' on her to-do list, and she was signed up for the class that began on Monday of the following week.
Spencer had a degree in interior design but had never worked. She'd met and married Jeff during her senior year of college, fell crazy in love with him, and had thoroughly enjoyed being a housewife. There'd been no need to work. They both agreed to wait to have children and Jeff made more than enough for them to get by on and even put a little away each month. Life had so simple, easy, and sweet.
After the death of her ruggedly-handsome Marine husband, she'd had no interest in working as she knew she'd be incapable of focusing on mundane things like home decor, something she'd once dearly loved. And thanks to Jeff's planning and the government's willingness to care for the families of its fallen, she hadn't been forced to work from a financial standpoint.
The day after she learned of her husband's death, she'd been handed a check for $100,000 for what was ironically called a 'death gratuity' payment. Four weeks later, after filing for his insurance benefits, she'd received another check in the amount of $400,000.
Spencer had spent a fair amount of the money from Jeff's SGLI (short for Serviceman's Group Life Insurance) to fund the trips and things she'd done to keep from losing her mind. At the time, she couldn't even think about other men so she'd learned to skydive and ski. She'd also learned how to race cars and climb mountains. In fact, she'd ended up in Seattle, Washington, because her last climb had been Mount Rainier, a 14,000-foot snowcapped peak she could see on clear, summer days, from her modest home in the small town of Sumner, Washington, located about 35 miles due south of Seattle.
She was now seriously thinking about either starting her own business or perhaps taking a job as an interior designer to get her feet wet, so to speak. For now, learning to dive was priority number one while seeing underwater treasures like shipwrecks was a close second.
"It's been so good seeing you again, Spence! I'd love to stay, but I've gotta get to the airport or I'll miss my flight," Millie finally said. "I've gotta turn this rental car in first, so I really do need to run."
"I'm so glad you stopped by," Spencer told her sincerely.
Just as she was leaving, Millie stopped and asked her dear friend a question.
"Is there anyone in your life, Spencer?"
"No. Not really," she replied noncommittally. Spencer had no desire to get into a lengthy discussion about the men she'd dated or the one with whom she'd made love for the first time since Jeff. She especially didn't want to have to try and explain how it had been with a guy she'd met while preparing for her Rainier climb just several months ago.
He'd let her know early on he was interested and although he was very good looking, she'd never taken him seriously because he was only 20 years old. And yet after she'd summited Rainier, she still couldn't think of a reason other than the age difference, not to at least go out with him. After all, a date wasn't a marriage proposal and she was more than a little bit interested in finally seeing how her body would react to someone she found attractive.
She stopped by the store where he worked selling gear to climbers and campers to ostensibly thank him for all his help and to let him know she'd completed the grueling climb. The following evening she was having dinner with him and several hours later she was having...him...for dessert.
Spencer was thrilled with the way her body had responded. So much so that she had a rather torrid affair with this tall, gorgeous, much-younger man. She only called things off because he made it clear his only real interest in her was physical.
