I spotted her the instant my eyes adjusted to the dark smoke filled room. She was about 5' 2", not what anyone would call a raving beauty.
She was dressed rather oddly, I thought. She had on a sleeveless sweater that was open at the front in a deep "V" shape to about where her navel would be, with a T-shirt on underneath.
At first glance I thought that the sweater was all she had on up top, I have seen women dressed like that in bars before. But she didn't fit that mold, as I looked more closely I saw quite a few stray hairs attempting to escape from her poor attempts to tie it back, plus the beginnings of a ponytail in the back.
Her face was round and innocent looking, her bust and hips were very slender.
Rounding out the picture was a dark pleated skirt that came to just above her knees.
It was rather obvious she was not going to set any standards for fashion.
There were perhaps a half dozen patrons in the place, it was a Thursday afternoon in a mill town, and I knew that it would be another two hours before the crews getting off work would turn the bar to mayhem.
I was very familiar with the place, it had been my 2nd home back when I worked in that same mill nearly 35 years earlier.
Most of my time was spent upstairs, there was a standard fare restaurant up there run by an old lady that fit right in with the men. I normally walked in the door at 10 minutes after 7, after finishing my graveyard shift.
"Keep yer goddamned shirt on, you got enough fat on you that you ain't gonna starve in the next 10 minutes!" She would yell out at some poor sap that wasn't used to her and wanted to know where his breakfast was. We could see right into the kitchen, the woman was almost a blur in there, plates with meat and eggs, piles of golden hash browns seemed to just appear in her hands and rattle up onto the counter.
The cute waitress always made sure that each and every one of us knew she liked us the very best, too.
Weekends we ended up downstairs in the bar, usually by midnight we were drunk and the fights would start. I knew all about that part, I was the guy up on stage playing lead guitar and doing my very best impression of Creedence Clearwater.
Lord did I get laid a lot, and there were quite a few housewives mixed into that bunch too.
Of course that meant I got to be in some of the fights.
I had stopped upstairs for a bite to eat, they still served breakfast at one PM in the afternoon. I always was partial to breakfast anyway. I had noticed there was an old lady in the kitchen, and a chubby cute little blonde brought me some coffee, doing her best to get me into a conversation. I sat there at the counter sipping my coffee and eating, looking around.
The same old photos hung on the walls, the place had been painted but the same color.
Even the stools were still 3 inches too high and the vinyl cracked on half of them, it was almost like I had never left.
The big difference was back then I was in my twenties, six feet tall and 150 pounds, now I was still six feet tall but I was 240. That and now I was in my middle sixties.
I tipped the waitress a couple bucks more than enough, getting a huge smile from her, then I headed down the stairs. The transition from the bright lights upstairs to the darkened bar took me a few moments.
I looked the gal behind the bar over, walked over and sat down.
"Like a drink?" She asked, her face breaking into a smile.
"No, I don't drink." I told her, wanting one desperately. "A cup of coffee will do."
"OK. Be right back." She went upstairs and was back in moments with a steaming mug. Then she drifted down the bar to where an older heavyset woman sat, nursing a midday drink.
I glanced around the room, nothing much had changed except the stage was gone and there was a row of video poker machines by one wall. There was a booth where I used to stand pretending to sing and play. The usual country music filled the air. The missing stage was the only thing I could see that was different about the place.
Well, that and the gambling machines.
Like so many mill towns, the only things that ever seem to change much are the faces.
Bored, I wandered over to the row of video poker machines, stuffed in a twenty and idly hit the buttons. Like always, that was gone quickly and I stuffed in another, then another. I finally hit one of those free spin things, it racked up points to just over $140, I tapped the collect button. $140 back for $200 in, not bad, I thought, grinning to myself.
Just then I heard a cell phone ring. The young woman at the counter answered it. I wasn't trying to listen but there was no way to miss what she said.
"So when are you coming to see him, you know he loves you." She told whoever was on the other end.
"That's what you said the last time and the time before, just empty promises, that's all you do."
"Yes, I will pick him up at Mom's, she called and said you never showed up."
There was a long quiet stretch as she listened, I stuffed another twenty into the machine, not wanting to bother her just then.
"Damn you, just damn you! I have to pay the rent by Saturday, you had better bring it by!" Then she hung up. I glanced over at her, she was wiping a tear. She saw me looking and flushed.
I finished off the twenty with no success, got up and went to sit at the bar. She took the ticket and cashed it out, counted out the $140.75.
"Sorry you heard that." She told me with a small smile.
"No problem. How many kids do you have?"
"Two. Billy is 4 and Sara is 2, they are good kids. I don't know what I would do without my Mom, she watches them so I can work."
I nodded, asked her for another cup of coffee. She hustled up the stairs to get it for me. I finished it off, picked up my winnings and started to put it in my money clip.
The young woman was serving some drinks to the couple sitting at the poker machines. On impulse, I peeled off two $100 bills and folded them, slipping them under the coffee cup.
Then I got up and left.
Money didn't mean much to me anymore. After I had been drafted into the military I never went back to my job at the mill, I could have but I hated the place. Instead, I went on out into the world, knowing there had to be something for me.
I found it, too. Over the years I built a business, got married. We had a son, now grown, he married and they gave me two beautiful grandaughters. I didn't think much of my son's wife, for one thing she smoked dope constantly when they were dating and never outgrew it.
I remember one day I bought a fancy new Corvette, I had always wanted one and I happened to be at the dealership for something else and spotted it. I bought the machine on impulse, and my daughter in law threw a total fit when she saw it.
She was enraged that I would be wasting my grandaughter's inheritance, she told me that word for word. I knew what she really meant, she was thinking of herself. I had always noticed that about her, but my son loved her so I tolerated it.
