"It's ethics!" Debra said.
"Oh, bullshit. You are a Doctor, why in the hell should I have to go see a different one and pay them when I have you right here?" I was feeling a bit crabby at that. It was going to cost me the Medicare co-pay.
"Danny, even if I did see you I would have to bill you, the system I work for would insist on that."
"Hell, that's like being a mechanic and having to take my truck to a different one!" Was my retort.
"I have seen you try to fix your truck!" She giggled.
Well. She had me there.
I swear, it is a pain in the ass to be married to a Doctor. Bad enough to get nagged all the time about what I eat, God help me if she caught me sneaking outside behind the garage to have a smoke.
Broccoli, for Christ's sakes.
It is kinda good though, especially with that low fat sauce Debra makes and pours over the whole thing with little bits of Ham chopped up in it?
No whiskey in the cupboard, my two favorite TV channels got canceled, too. I did try to explain to her that I never EVER watched those channels, that was a mistake.
"No need to pay for them then, honey." She smiled.
"Besides, you go to the Literotica site all the time."
"I have to pay to watch any videos there."
"You have to pay to watch those other channels, too!" She grinned at me and headed for the kitchen.
"Besides. You told me you just go over there to get ideas for your stories."
Well. She had me there.
I followed her into the kitchen to see what she was planning on making, muttering the whole way about how the internet was SUPPOSED to be free.
I can't gripe about her too much, living alone for nearly a dozen years got me stuck with solo sexuality, and then at age 67 the chance of ever having sex again had been very long odds.
Unless I wanted to part with a couple hundred bucks. Not likely since I only get a bit over $900 per month in Social Security after they take out the chunk for Medicare.
Of course I have my savings, but interest rates are so low a fruit jar and a hole in the ground pays about the same. Then they want me to pay taxes on even that.
Meeting Debra was an accident, I just needed a new Doctor. Somehow she let me know she liked me, darned if we didn't end up in the sack, next it was Reno getting married at one of those plastic marriage places.
Oh, all right. I didn't mind one bit! Debra can cook, lord can she cook. She makes a Spinach Lasagna that almost brings tears to my eyes.
If someone had put something like that on a plate in front of me before I met her, I would have thrown a temper tantrum.
I almost did, anyway, until she more or less forced me to taste it.
By the third helping I decided I would eat anything she came up with.
Hell, I took a big spoon and scraped the corners of the metal pan she used while she grinned at me happily.
I say if you can find a woman that can make Spinach taste good, you better grab onto her!
Debra can make a full meal out of a salad. How she does that I don't have a clue, there are things in there that I don't even know what they are.
Sure does taste good.
I guess I have to say that I really do love my woman, all 150 pounds of her. Nice big boobs that don't even sag much which is a surprise since she is 53. Her behind is soft as butter on the outside and solid underneath, and I delight in sticking my face between her big legs.
She actually tastes good too!
Before I met her, I was getting to the point where getting it up and going was a struggle. Sure, once in awhile something set me off, but that was further and further apart.
Taking a leak almost required a half hour long appointment.
But Debra has no trouble at all making things work, and for some reason the more time we spend in bed, the easier that gets. In just a few months of being with her, I found I slimmed right down. The old noodle comes right up and stays there.
Darned if I didn't start pissing like a race horse!
And I actually ate Spinach Lasagna!
Another thing different was I went down to the river bank and dug a mess of clams. I was clear back to the car with my limit when it hit me that my legs weren't tired.
Getting married turned out to be very good for me.
We had all of that naughty fun in Reno on our honeymoon, every single day seemed to bring one more surprise. I found out that my new lady was a little bit on the naughty side, and she also did not have a single jealous bone in her body. She even squirted some of that Pheromone stuff on me just to see what would happen. Then she was running around with no underwear on to tease me, plus three times she got looked at briefly naked or nearly so, twice by some guys and once by the maid.
Interesting. That appeared to get her fussed up.
That Pheromone crap actually did seem to work also, at least on some of the women, anyway.
Most women would shit a brick if their husband even used it, Debra thought it was funny and told me she liked it herself. She acted even hornier in Reno than she did at home.
Not normal at all as the women I have known in my life have been somewhat more possessive.
So here we were, having a discussion about me going to see a Doctor when I had a perfectly good one right here at home.
Debra insisted, she didn't ask, she just made the appointment for me.
"I'm not sick!" Didn't work.
"You damn near died from that last episode! You are GOING to go in for a followup and some tests!"
Crap. I gave up and went.
I walked into the clinic, Debra came out and told me I was going to see her office partner, Nurse James.
"You will like her, you already met her once."
Her?
"Hey, can I maybe see a male Doctor?" I asked. I hadn't even thought about that part. Hell, every time I came into this place someone stuck their finger up my butt or grabbed my weenie, and lately if anyone got close to it the thing took off by itself.
I was pretty sure that with a male Doctor there would be no problem with that.
"No. We don't have one on staff, we are all Nurse Practitioners here." She grinned at me and went into the back of the building.
I was sitting there bored, reading a two year old Newsweek when Jenny walked in. She was a tall and slender woman, about 45 or so. She wore her hair tied up in a severe bun, and had some dark framed glasses perched on her nose. She looked exactly like she had the one time I had seen her before, right down to the white smock that was loose around her neck.
Homely as a mud fence, but with a bright smile and dark blue eyes.
"Hi, Dan. Nice to see you again. Debra asked me to take good care of you."
I blushed, remembering her. This was the same woman that had walked into the little room during my physical and basically milked me and left.
"I see you had a gastric bleed? How are you feeling now?"
"Fine."
"Did you finish the Prev-pak?"
"Yea." That was a 14 day run of pills I had to take, so damned many of them I could almost call it breakfast and dinner.
"It's a wonder I didn't gain weight!" I wisecracked.
She just laughed at that.
"Well, gown up." She said, turning to leave.
"Why?"
"Because I need to check you out." She left, shut the door.
I sighed. Here we go again, those stupid gowns that leave the bare ass hanging out in space. Hell, they jerk the damn things up anyway, why not just put them on the other way?
I muttered to myself, undressed and put on the silly thing. A younger nurse came in and took my blood pressure, looked in my ears and listened to see if my heart was beating.
Then she handed me a little cup, told me to use the room just down the hall and put the sample in the little tray.
I sighed, here we go again. Another fucking sperm sample, I had never heard of a Doctor's office that wanted to check sperm for blood and bacteria so damned much.
It was about 10 minutes later, I was getting nowhere, someone knocked on the door.
"Is everything all right?" A young woman's voice asked.
"No, not really. Hey, there is no way I can do this in here." I answered, halfway expecting Jenny to come in and yank the sample from me like she had the last time.
I had managed to get the thing about halfway up but Debra kept me drained all the time and we had gotten it on earlier that same morning.
"I can get you a catheter if we have to." She called out.
Catheter? How in the hell were they going to get a...
Oh.
The cup did look bigger than the last time they sent me in here.
"Urine sample, right?" I asked through the door.
It was quiet for a long moment, then she said yes.
I heard her giggle.
I looked around, not a single window I could crawl out of.
OK. That part was easy, I filled the cup and went red faced back to the examination room, noticing everyone down the hall was looking at me with big grins.
A couple of minutes later Jenny came back in. She had a big smile on her face too.
"Hey, if the nurse just told me what kind of sample she wanted..." I started to protest in defense.
"It's all right. I will talk to her but you have to admit that is funny!"
I managed to keep from growling.
"OK. Let's do the Prostate first, go ahead and turn around, put your hands on the table." Jenny said, plopping down on a little roller stool.
I did, she stuck her finger up my fanny, wiggled it around for a second or two.
"Interesting." She said.
"What?" I was still embarrassed at what had just happened in the other room, so I probably sounded a bit short.
Hell, she found my asshole...interesting?
"No Prostate inflammation at all, the chart says you were having some issues. How have you been urinating?" She did her best to not snicker but she failed miserably.
I knew exactly what she was thinking about. My little misunderstanding in the other room.
