Once Again That Feeling

When he feels something again for the first time in ages, Charlie doesn't know if it's lust, love, or for a lifetime, but he's determined to find out which.

This story was written for Literotica's 2024 Halloween Contest.

© SouthernCrossfire - 2024. All rights reserved.

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Two minutes, minimum. Five minutes, tops.

As I watched Alicia walk toward the rear of the restaurant, that's how much time I figured I'd have to decide on whether I wanted to pursue our date further or cut it short after she returned. I glanced at the time on my phone.

Though she was nice, quite pretty, and cut a really mean figure in her thin white top and form-fitting skirt, I hadn't felt a real connection with her to this point and thought, from what I could sense, that she felt the same way. Taking another look at the back of that skirt just before she stepped out of view, perhaps a physical connection might change our outlook if she was interested in giving it a try. It was a Saturday night after all and neither of us had to work on Sunday.

However, that was the dilemma for me. It had been a long, long time since I'd been in an actual relationship and quite some time since I'd experienced sexual pleasure not supplied by personally taking matters in hand. The recently reborn desire to start dating in a serious manner again made me more willing to take a risk than I usually was; the thought of the chance of physical pleasure made things even worse, clouding my judgment.

I tried to shake off the thought of pleasure for pleasure's sake, focusing instead on whether I'd missed something that might build on the rather tenuous connection between us. The dating site said my recently completed profile matched hers quite well, so I wondered what the program saw that I was missing.

I glanced at the time on my phone, thinking about our "match" and why I wasn't feeling it, wondering whether the next question between us might open new avenues of mutual interest or perhaps cause us to drift further apart. Almost three minutes had passed; she'd be back almost any time and I had to decide on my course of action or risk her making the decision without my input.

Feeling the pressure of the clock, I decided to trust the dating app and invest a bit more time with her. After all, we had a number of things in common and I'd liked what I'd read about her enough to extend the invitation. Thinking of our discussion so far, I quickly pulled up her profile and recalled a few things we hadn't yet discussed that might invigorate our conversation and maybe even ignite some interest that might be hiding just below the surface.

With the new conversation ammo in hand, I put the phone down and tried to look attentive, but time dragged on. A glance at my phone a couple of minutes later proved that Alicia was taking longer than expected. Glancing back toward the restrooms, I knew I couldn't see them but I'd probably see her approach and be able to give her a smile to, possibly, encourage her and lighten the mood.

"Hi, excuse me?" In the noisy din of the restaurant, the voice was low, spoken close to me, but clear and, I believed, directly solely at me.

I turned around in my seat to see a young woman, probably in her mid-twenties, standing beside my chair, behind the direction I'd been looking. With her so close, I stood, taking her image in as I did. My heart felt as if it did a flip flop. This young lady, with young being the operative word, would be my ideal woman if she wasn't so young or if I was maybe 25 years younger.

She was about 5-foot six or seven and athletically trim with a nice bust topped by a head of dark brown hair with auburn highlights that fell a little below her shoulders. Most stunning were her beautiful eyes that reminded me of light blue diamonds that looked like they could unlock hearts in a single beat.

A burgundy blouse was cut low enough to show a bit of cleavage in that nice bustline and the two missed buttons at the top showed considerably more along with an early summer tan. Perfectly fitted white shorts and short, heeled sandals appropriate for the springtime weather revealed equally tanned and quite gorgeous legs. The only thing other than her age that kept her image from being perfect was that she looked concerned rather than giving me a smile that I suspected would be a real mankiller for guys her age.

Or mine, I realized.

Giving her a smile of my own to put her at ease, I focused on her face while trying to put my initial attraction out of my mind. It was tough, having experienced so-called love-at-first-sight once before in my life and knowing that this was exactly how I felt then. Yes, I was in trouble.

Trying even harder, I asked in a low, soft tone similar to her own, "Hi, may I help you?"

Her apprehension became even more evident as she gave a slight nod. "I'm so sorry but I saw you and your date over here a little earlier."

I waved a hand, trying to put her at ease and to brush my attraction away. "It's a busy restaurant, very busy and very noisy tonight. I don't think you have to apologize for noticing someone. I think I may have seen you over there with that group of young ladies a little earlier, too. Right?"

She glanced the way I indicated and nodded, forcing a hint of a smile. "Sorry, that's not what I meant."

The young woman paused for a moment and took a deep breath before charging ahead. "I was in the restroom a few minutes ago fixing my makeup when your, ahem, lady friend came in and entered a stall. I heard her make a call asking someone to come pick her up because she wanted to skip out on her date. I think she was arranging to meet the ride somewhere down the street."

She'd rushed it out without pausing but then she looked down at her feet before looking in my eyes again. "I'm sorry, but that's all I heard because after finishing washing and drying my hands I walked out. I..."

She paused again for a moment, looking as uncomfortable as I'd begun to feel at being exposed as a dating failure (and then already crushing on another, one probably young enough to be my daughter) before continuing once more. "I thought, no, hoped she might change her mind," she said, glancing at the empty chair, "but I'm guessing not. I'm really sorry to interfere but didn't want you sitting there all night wondering because I'd hate to be in that situation myself."

All my worry was for nothing. All my effort, as miserable as it had been, was for naught. Of course, experiencing the strange love at first sight feeling again for the first time in over thirty years, as inappropriate as it was, was making me almost forget that already.

"Thank you, miss. I'm sorry you found yourself in this situation but I really do appreciate the heads-up. To ease your mind, I already knew it wasn't the most successful date ever and was already thinking of asking her if she wanted to call it a night."

To my surprise, that finally drew a real smile and, quite unsurprisingly, it was every bit as spectacular as I'd originally suspected. Damn if she wasn't doing a number on my heart. Yes, just like Denise, all those years before.

"So it was your first date? And you're only out the price of the meal and maybe a touch of embarrassment?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "When you put it like that, I guess I should count myself lucky?"

She nodded and gave a chuckle that approached a giggle. "Very much so. My tendency is to not figure out that my date and I are completely incompatible until we've been together for several months and I find him in bed with a friend."

I winced at the way she said it, hurting for her as if the experience was my own, and glanced over at the table where I thought I'd seen her sitting. "Your friends? I hope you're not still friends with someone who would do that to you."

"Oh, no, I cut her off and haven't spoken with her since then. The ones here are coworkers but casual friends, too. We're celebrating Sienna's birthday, but we're actually done and are just settling up the check before heading out. Speaking of which, I better get back over there to put my part in the kitty," she added, glancing back in their direction. When she looked back at me, she tilted her head slightly, as if studying me. "You know, I didn't realize it until just now, but I've seen you somewhere before. Did you attend games at the high school a few years back?"

I laughed, feeling relief for the intense interest that seemed to be gripping my heart. "Yeah. I have two daughters who are probably about your age. What year did you graduate?"

She told me and some quick math told me that my initial estimate was close. She was probably around 26 or 27.

"My younger daughter, Keira Pfeiffer, was on the girls' basketball and track teams so I was actually at a lot of games. She graduated a year after you."

She smiled and nodded. "I don't remember her name but I'm sure I will when I look her up in my old yearbook. I'm Josie Black," she said, extending her hand, "and I was on the cheerleading squad all four years so I'm sure I cheered for her a lot and I'm going to say 'Oh yeah!' when I see her photo."

I laughed, slowly feeling more at ease knowing that this wouldn't be going anywhere. "I'll bet you're right. Well, it's very nice to meet you, Josie," I replied as I took her hand in mine and gave it a shake. "I'm Charlie Pfeiffer, Keira's dad. And thanks for cheering for Keira and the team, even if it's a few years after the fact before I got around to thanking you."

She chuckled, her smile coming easy now that my disastrous date was forgotten. "I appreciate it, even if it is years later."

She was staring into my eyes, her icy blues so cool and inviting, boring into my own with me feeling more connection with her, a girl young enough to be my daughter, than I had with my erstwhile date or any of the other few in recent years. Josie's smile practically melted my heart and it was only when she squeezed my hand that I realized neither of us had let go.

That crushing feeling was back and with a vengeance. Maybe I was wrong about it not going anywhere after all?

She continued smiling at me as I relaxed to release her, but both our hands turned and her curled fingertips settled into mine. "Hopefully, it won't be so long before we see each other again, Charlie Pfeiffer. I hope you have a good--no, a much better evening."

To my shock, she moved in, closing the gap between us and gave a little tug, pulling me a bit off balance toward her and she reached up and gave my cheek a light kiss that sent a ripple through my body. She winked as she released me and turned away.

My heart racing, I was sad to see her go, far sadder than I'd been about Alicia's unexpected departure, but I enjoyed the view of those white shorts hugging her athletic but gorgeous backside. Moments later, she was doing something on her phone and then their group, with lots of discussion and laughter, departed, leaving me to smile and wonder where our encounter might have led if I'd been twenty or twenty-five years younger.

***

The feeling of having a crush bordering on love at first sight and the question of where it might have gone refused to leave my mind over the next few days. With great reluctance, I asked for help to find her.

"Nope, Dad, I'm telling you, she's not in the yearbook," replied Keira, my younger daughter. "There was no one listed in my yearbook by that name--though there were two Josies, a Josephine, and a Josefina, but I don't think any of them were in that class. There were also eight people with the surname Black in the yearbook the year you said she graduated."

"It was noisy in the restaurant, so maybe I heard her wrong. Was there anyone on the cheerleading squad whose name was anywhere close?"

"No, sorry. No Josies, Rosies, Posies, or anything similar, and no Josephines, Josefinas, Blacks, Flacks, or anything like that on there anytime while I was in high school. Oh, and just in case, there were no Josephs on the squad or Joseph Blacks in the whole school either."

She laughed at my expression at the last part and added, "Well, you never know, these days," but when she saw my face fall, she added, "And Dad, yes, I looked in every yearbook to be sure, and I even called Lee to have her check hers for the years before I was in high school. She came up with nada, too. You must have heard her name wrong--have you had your hearing checked recently?"

I rolled my eyes at her. In my line of work, I checked my hearing annually to make sure I knew what others would be hearing and that it would sound as it should.

"--or else she could have been pulling your leg," she concluded.

"Damn," I muttered under my breath, barely audible, but Keira's ears were good enough to hear it and her eyes read the disappointed expression on my face.

"Daddy, you

really

liked her, didn't you? I'm sorry, I didn't realize."

Yes, the look on my face was red, practically glowing, at this point. "I don't know, Keira, there was something about her that, just... I don't know. I know she was way, way too young and it was totally inappropriate for me to feel like that but it was something I haven't felt since I met your mom, all those years ago, a connection that I just can't explain. Maybe it was just an attraction, maybe just on my part." My voice trailed off, the sadness in it apparent.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she repeated as she wrapped her arms around me. "But, if you feel that way, maybe it wouldn't be wrong if you both felt that way. After all you went through with Momma, you deserve some happiness, whether the person helping bring it to you is your age or mine."

Despite the years, the mention of Denise, Leora and Keira's mother, still tore at my heart. Keira knew it and hugged me tighter for a few seconds before letting go and looking serious.

"Dad, you know, she may have felt something too but may have been put off by the age difference. She might have been protecting herself by giving you a fake name. Girls do that sometimes or give a random phone number when they're scared or just want to get out of a situation. I hate to say it but I've done it myself a couple of times when I got a bad vibe from a guy. Still, you can look through my yearbooks if you really want to try to find her."

The way we'd looked at each other, I hoped she hadn't gotten a bad vibe from me, but me being over 25 years older was probably quite enough to scare her off. Or maybe it was something else; I really couldn't be sure under the circumstances.

I shook my head in response to Keira's suggestion. "No, sweetheart, that would feel creepy to me. If she didn't want me to have her real name, I'm not going to be a stalker and go looking for it."

My girl patted my hand with hers and gave it a little squeeze. "As much as I'd like you to find her and give her what for, I'm glad to hear you say that," she said. We sat there for a few seconds but neither of us had anything to add, so Keira turned to the real reason she'd come over. "Now that's out of the way, are you ready to help me with the planning?"

Since I'd played single parent to my girls for almost twenty years (with occasional input from both very supportive grandmothers on dicier female issues), I was happy to help her as she planned her wedding. Simon, her fiancé, was a very nice young man and they seemed like a great fit. That they planned to remain in the area after marrying made things even better since Leora, her big sister by two years, and her husband had moved to Dallas shortly after marrying. While I had a little grandson through them, I rarely saw him as a result, so I was hoping Keira and Simon wouldn't change their plans to have two or maybe even three kids someday.

About an hour later with the decisions made, we were done with the day's tasks and I used my laptop to transfer the next batch of funds to the pre-paid credit card I'd given Keira to use for wedding expenses. When I walked her out to her car, she stopped before getting in and gave me another hug.

"Dad, I was serious earlier, but I just want you to understand. If you fall in love, I mean really fall in love, you do what you think is best for you and your lover and don't let an age difference or anyone else, including me or Lee, stand in the way of your happiness." She chuckled and, with an evil grin, she leaned in and whispered, "And if it's just love for a night or two, I hope you'll enjoy the fuck out of it."

She laughed aloud at my shocked expression at both the sentiment and her language before giving me one last squeeze and a kiss on the cheek and jumping in the car to be on her way.

***

While I didn't go searching yearbooks or online for the beautiful but mysterious stranger who wasn't who she claimed to be, I kept my eyes open and the next few months passed without any sightings, without any success. There was no real success with the dating app either so it wasn't long before I canceled my subscription.

Still, I wrangled a few dates with women about my age or a few years younger but also two dates with older women who might be called cougars on the prowl. Like the traditional cougars of young men's fantasies, these knew what they wanted and were determined to get it, but unlike those, neither of these was exactly particular about how much younger their prey was, if any at all. The evenings with the cougars were quite stimulating but there was nothing with either of them approaching love and definitely nothing I was going to tell Leora or Keira about either.

Keira and Simon's wedding came off without a hitch in September, and I was glad to see my parents, Denise's mom, and Leora and Ed in town for the festivities. However, it was being able to play with Blaine, Leora and Ed's little boy and my grandson, that really made the weekend.

Blaine was starting to talk in short but at least halfway intelligible phrases and he recognized me so we got along great, though I had to share him with his three remaining great grandparents in attendance. When everyone departed and the honeymooners left for the airport, I felt the most alone I'd felt in a long time.

Over the past few years, particularly since Keira left for college, I'd poured myself into my work and even started picking up more gigs as a back-up or even fill-in bass or rhythm guitarist for some of the groups that came to play at our local venues.

I'd done that and played backup on a number of albums over the years, but most of my work after the girls were born had been on the other side of the studio glass, producing albums with smaller, lesser-known groups. Shortly after I became a sole parent, I built a recording studio in my basement so much of my work could be done from home, allowing me to better supervise them while helping develop new musical talent rather than continuing to try to make music on my own.

I'd helped a number of new groups over the years; some made it to the next level and moved on, while others fizzled due to some limitation on their talent or, more often, their inability to handle the interpersonal dynamics that often result from some modicum of fame, or sometimes, from the lack thereof.

Then there were other groups who found their special niche and continued making music for a limited but reliable fanbase, releasing a new album every eight to twenty-four months and typically doing tours to smaller venues. In the day where streaming and digital downloads are so available, this type of group had become my bread and butter despite the reduced royalties that are often received as a result.

The front man of Angry Oaks, a so-called post-progressive rock band and one of those groups, called me one evening in September, just days after the wedding.

"Hey, Charlie, it's Redd Dietz. You're never gonna believe what's happened with 'Shockwave'!"

Many horror movies are like old B-westerns, low budget and they look it, but they sometimes save some money by getting no-name actors and pulling songs from lesser-known artists. That's what happened here, with the producer of a new horror movie signing several actors and actresses for their first major part and finding the Angry Oaks' song "Shockwave" and purchasing the rights on the cheap. Part of the song was then used during a pivotal scene in the film and the full song played during the credits. We'd known that for several months, but what he said next was a bit of a surprise.