"So why didn't you and Mom ever...you know..get together?" Janice asked me.
It came right out of the clear blue sky, caught me a bit by surprise. Of course, if you knew Janice like I do nothing should ever be a surprise.
She is my next door neighbor, barely 22 now. The best description I can come up with is a raven haired beauty that belongs on the pages of magazines.
Now if I was younger and had my health, as the saying goes? But I am in my sixties, doing my best to deal with all the issues that come with the later stages of life.
Janice works her way through nursing school by doing massage therapy. One day she caught me taking a leak in the bushes in my back yard and she was simply curious as to why it was such a strain.
You older males will know what I mean, a Prostate gland the size of an Apple. It just robs a person of energy, it is a pain in the ass needing to take a leak every 10 minutes or so and managing a dribble.
I knew Janice's Mom Carol very well, I was the one who took her to the hospital when Janice was born. I practically lived over there after that. I powdered her bottom and changed her diapers, watched her grow up skinning her knees and raising all sorts of hell. Then one day she filled out and became..well, she became simply...WOW!
Me? I was just "Uncle Dan."
But Janice studied on the subject, one day I somehow ended up on her table, she put on latex gloves and went right in there massaging my Prostate, and reached underneath and pulled on my 7" medium firm erection until I spasmed.
It beats the hell out of me how she learned to do that but it worked pretty well and I have to say I was grateful.
With the feeling of being empty, I suddenly had more energy, got to doing more things. With that came some weight loss, my 46" midsection dropped to 40" over a period of a couple of years. With the weight loss, my Prostate didn't bother me nearly as much, either.
Funny how that all works hand in hand.
Janice even nagged me until I finally gave up my pack a day bad habit. Next thing I knew she was out in my garden at planting time, some of my Corn and Potato plants got changed to Spinach and beets, green beans.
Darned if I didn't develop a taste for that stuff, too.
And once a week I would be on her table, regular as clockwork. Janice never showed even the slightest sign of being bashful, after awhile I got over it, too.
It was during one of those massage sessions that she hit me with that question.
The funny thing is Janice's Mom and I were..friends? I can't really think of a single time I ever even thought of her as anything more. I knew I sorely missed her Mom, that was a rough time a few years earlier when I had knocked on her door. Getting no answer, I stepped in to find her on the couch, gone from us.
Janice had been away at class, a good thing I guess.
"I don't know, honey. It just never came up, we were always just good friends."
"I think Mom was always in love with you." Janice blurted out.
I didn't have an answer, like I said, it was something that just never came up. I never really even thought about it.
"Did you..do you ever have any..girlfriends?
That was another surprise.
"Not really."
There had been a couple over the years, I never brought any of them home though. I didn't even remember their names, with one woman we actually ended up in bed but it was uneventful, I guess that is the proper word.
It is probably tough to understand, but my sex life was mostly solo, and had been for nearly 40 years. I had no interest at all in a prostitute. Dealing with women and all the dating and dinners, dancing, all the things that go along with that just wasn't really in the picture.
By the time I reached the age where I took my Social Security and began to draw on savings a bit, it was just far too late.
"You are a good looking man, you should find a nice woman, go out and do things."
"Oh, sure, I can just see myself trying to woo some gray haired old lady!" I laughed.
"You could attract some younger ones if you just tried to." Her hands rubbing my back suddenly seemed softer, I detected a bit of a catch in her voice.
"What about you?" I asked her. I realized I had never seen her with a boyfriend.
"Oh, with school and work and all I just don't have time."
"You should make time."
"I suppose, but school is expensive, and with the household bills and everything, I need as many clients as I can get."
I understood that, I did my own shopping, it seemed to get harder to cover everything every year.
Janice propped up my hips, reached over and got a pair of latex gloves out. I allowed myself to relax, I knew what was coming.