I'm 73 years old and thought I had learned a little something over the years but I guess I've learned almost nothing about sex. Long ago, in high school, I thought about sex almost all the time. And that's all I did, I never managed to actually experience it. I have since learned that most of the girls were in the same boat as me and if I had been just a little more enterprising I might have succeeded beyond my wildest expectations.
I was always good in math, really good in algebra. My worst math grades were in my junior year when I was seated next to Anamaria Giotti, the absolutely hottest girl in the school. I couldn't see her without getting at least the beginnings of a hard-on. She'd sit there, across the narrow aisle, turn very slightly towards me, her left leg still facing forward, her right leg now facing me, with her skirt riding up high enough on her legs that I could just barely glimpse her panties. I lost any ability to concentrate for long periods of time. I always thought she was completely unaware of what she was doing until I talked to her ten years later at a class reunion. She was then the mother of three, happily married, and confided in me that in that class she was trying to turn me on. A couple days she even took her panties off in the rest room before class to try and flash her bare pussy at me just to see what I'd do.
I was floored. It never entered my mind that she was interested in me. I was in athletics but not a star. And I never would have believed she was purposely 'flashing' me, even to the point of trying to show me her bare cunt, which I never saw. It's something I never would have done. In fact, if I had tried to display my cock and balls to her, I could have ended up in huge trouble, maybe in jail. But, as I already said, I have never figured out women. So, I said to her, "I never knew you were doing that on purpose or had any interest in me. What would have happened if I had taken you up on what you were doing? Asked you out on a date and then tried something?"
She grinned at me and replied. "I don't know. I was awfully interested, really wanted to find out what sex was all about. If you'd made any sort of move, I'd probably have gone along with you as far as you wanted. Our lives might have been very different."
Truth is, back then I probably wouldn't have any idea what to do. But she intrigued me. I knew what to do about it by the time I was talking to her at the reunion. I wasn't married yet but had some sex experience. And she was still a very attractive female, a little heavier but that only accentuated her curves. So I said, "If you still have an interest maybe it's not too late to do something about it."
She laughed. A friendly laugh not a mocking one. She reached out and touched my arm and replied, "Gary, I've managed to learn what it's all about, I don't have to find out any more. Sorry but you're too late."
Back then I didn't know girls ever acted that way. Over time, though, I learned some were even hornier than I was. In fact, I'm fairly sure that I never seduced any of those I had sex with. They all knew they were going to have sex with me way before I knew. And a few actually seduced me. The only one I actually seduced was the one I married and I seduced her with a marriage proposal.
I was married for forty years to "my Marilyn Monroe", blond and built. We never had wild orgies that lasted all night. I doubt if most people do. From the start I wanted a marriage that lasted, wanted to get long with her. Which included sex. I wanted to be a good lover, not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am that rolled over and went to sleep after raping the wife. We had a nice life together. Kids, grandkids. Holding each other and feeling your bodies intertwining is almost better than actual sex. Sucking on her clit really got her going, although I really liked licking the inside of her vagina better and only moved on to her clit because I learned I needed to.
But she died. Heart attack, no lingering illness. It's tough after so long but I eventually learned to live with it. So for over a year, I've done without sex. Who's interested in an old man? I figured that was over.
I walk. I'm no body builder but I'm not in bad shape. Healthy. But an old man and aware of it. There are just a lot of aches and pains and inconveniences that go with age.
I'm sure I was in a routine. Normal for me to do the same thing, fall into habits. Well into my daily walk I would see this lady sometimes, also walking. Then I began to see her every day. I'd smile and say good morning and she would, too. She's Chinese or Japanese or something Asian. I'm a lousy judge of age so I had no idea how old she was. She looked in good shape, trim. I assumed she was in her forties or maybe fifties. Our walks were early enough that she could have finished in time to go to work somewhere. Then, after several weeks, we would walk a couple blocks together and talk just a little. I gradually discovered she was older than I thought. A widow. Not as old as me but in her sixties as far as I could tell from the things she said.
Then one day she asked me if I'd like to stop at her place for a cup of coffee. Truth is, it would interfere with my routine and I wanted to say no. Besides, while I hope I'm not bigoted I had no idea what to talk about with a Chinese woman. But I was polite enough to accept her invitation. So I was sitting at a table in her kitchen and she threw me a curve. Made me realize again that I have never truly understood women.
She raised the point about us both having been in long marriages. Then she said that living alone was a big adjustment. I agreed with her.
"Some of my marriage has to just remain pleasant memories," she said. "I'm sure you feel the same. There's nothing we can do but go on and be glad we have the memories. But some things are hard to do without, particularly when you don't want to do without. Mostly sex. Don't you miss sex, Gary?"
