Of Rivers and Religion

This is Part Two of a two-part story.

* When I awoke in the morning, I was alone in Dave's bedroom. Light was pouring through both of the room's windows, neither of which was covered by a blind or curtain. It must have been about 7:30. I stood up, and spying my reflection in the mirror above the dresser, I realized I was naked except for my bra, the cups of which were still tucked under my breasts.

As my brain slowly pieced together all of the details of the previous night and attempted to explain my solitary presence in a place that I'd never before seen in the harshness of day, my reflection exposed me in a starker psychological light than I was prepared to view myself. In short, reality hit me like a jab to the nose.

I had just slept with my professor, the man who had personally championed me and my work, and who was undoubtedly one of the most respected individuals at the entire university.

More than that, this was no simple, one-night stand. Dave was a wounded man, and as with any wound, when you peel back the bandages, the exposed flesh isn't always terribly pretty. I had no idea how last night might play itself out today, much less further into the future.

I was studying my naked form in the mirror, trying to decide how conspicuous both my best attributes and worst flaws looked in the daylight. And then, I felt a trickle of fluid running down my inner thigh, and that revelation prompted a truly unpleasant recollection -- I hadn't used birth control last night! Dave's cum was still inside me, or more accurately, some of it was inside me, and some of it was running out of my pussy and down my leg!

I spotted a box of tissues on the dresser, so I quickly grabbed one and wiped up the semen and threw the tissue in a waste basket next to the dresser. I grabbed a handful of fresh tissues for another impending disaster that seemed certain to befall me in the very near future.

Then, I thought about my dilemma, specifically the not so clear, but present danger that I could become pregnant. I tried to remember when I had had my last period, and then I did the math. I was trying, however unrealistically, to calculate the odds.

Luckily, I was a millennial, and I was reminded that those of us born so late in the 20

th

Century had been gifted with so much of modern science's technological and innovative wizardry. Much of that wizardry might have had the potential to save older generations from some serious problems, one example of which, I now acknowledged, might just be able to save my sorry ass from an unplanned pregnancy. I had never taken "the Morning After" pill, but I resolved that I would change that reality that very day.

As I began musing about the precise location of a pharmacy within walking distance of Dave's house that was likely to carry the stuff, I heard the subtle creak of floorboards in the hallway, and afraid that I would be caught fully exposed, I scrambled back to the bed and crawled in quickly, tissues in hand.

Just as I had hidden myself under the covers, Dave entered the room. He was fully dressed and carrying the same tray and stand on which he'd schlepped our delicious meal from the previous night, except that this morning, it was loaded down with various sliced, fresh fruits; assorted containers of yogurt and granola; and two carafes, one filled with hot, strong coffee and the other chilled apple cider, as well as plates, silverware, napkins and cream and sugar for the coffee. I swear he was the most considerate man I've ever met.

I feigned sleep, but pretended that Dave's entrance had awakened me. I looked up at him smiling and pretended to rub the sleep from my eyes. Then, I sat up and started to stretch my arms, neck, and back, while I held the bedcovers to my exposed breasts.

Dave smiled back at me, "How's my newly minted scholar this morning?"

"I'm good! I slept like a rock! What have we here?" I asked as he set the tray down on its stand next to my side of the bed.

"I thought you might like some breakfast. You worked hard last night!" There it was! At least he wasn't going to act like it hadn't happened, though I thought it odd that he'd characterized sex as "work."

"So did you!" I said stupidly. Then, I paused for a moment, waiting for him to say something else. I should have known better. Then, I reconsidered; maybe the "hard" work he was referencing meant the counsel I'd offered him, not sex. But either way, I decided if he wasn't going to talk, I would delicately tiptoe my way toward what I perceived to be the crux of the matter, "Are we okay, Dave? Last night was... well, just so... I don't know... I... I guess I'm just hoping it won't change things between us." I could barely articulate anything that I thought I should say.

"Why would it do that?"

"Uh... because we had

sex

!"

He smiled. "Look, Lily, I know that we need to talk about what happened, but for now, why don't we just have some breakfast? I thought all women -- and in my experiences, beautiful women in particular -- love to be served breakfast in bed. And there's no denying

your

beauty!" He kissed me, and I blushed. He was always making me blush. "I promise when we're done eating, we can talk. Okay?" he asked.

I shook my head, so he climbed up next to me on the edge of the bed, and then, when I pulled the covers more tightly to my breasts, he realized that in the bright morning light, I was embarrassed to be almost completely naked in his presence. "I need to use the bathroom anyway, so why don't I give you a chance to get dressed," he said politely.

"Thank you. I appreciate that." He got up and walked into the bathroom, and I pushed my tits back into my bra and found my panties, blouse, and skirt folded carefully on a chair next to the dresser. My jacket was hanging over the back of the chair, and my heels were underneath it. I quickly donned my panties, tucking the spare tissues into the crotch, and then I slipped on my skirt and my blouse. I was just sitting down on the bed when he came back into the room.

"Feel better?" he asked.

"Yes, I guess I'm being kind of prudish after last night, considering what I... Let's just say, I'm not usually that... vocal."

"Thank god you were!" He paused and waited for my reaction, but I was too embarrassed to say anything, so he continued, "Look, Lily, I've reconsidered; maybe we

should

talk now. Breakfast can wait for a couple of minutes, can't it? How about if I go first?" I shook my head sheepishly.

"Lily, I'm an old guy, probably pretty decrepit in your eyes, and you, well, you're far too pretty and, let's face it, too young to be with a man like me, but, I'll get to that later. Lily, I really want you to know this. I don't think that I can ever thank you enough for what you did for me last night. I mean that sincerely, and I want to emphasize, I am

not

referring to sex!"

"I also realize that I will never be able to repay you! No matter how long I live, I can never fully repay my debt to you! You helped me a thousand times more last night alone than all 12 years of counseling that I've received put together -- 12 years of counseling that ended last night, by the way, and not a moment too soon, and that's because of you, Lily. So, thank you!" Somehow, I knew he wasn't finished, especially when he scooted closer to me on the bed and put his arm around me. Then, he continued.

"But, Lily, I also want you to know that I am very, very attracted to you. For a million reasons, sure, but I'll be honest with you -- first and foremost, you drive me crazy with lust! You have from the very first moment I met you that opening day of class. You're absolutely perfect, beautiful in every way!" I blushed again, and after he paused for a moment, he added, "Especially when you blush, god, you're angelic!"

"And then I found out how brilliant you are, and I fell in love with your mind too. But after last night, my god, Lily, it's not just your face, or your body, or your mind, it's everything else too! You are the most beguiling young lady that I have met in almost 38 years, that day when I first stumbled across one Catherine Conley in the criticism section of the Memorial Library. Catherine, you probably guessed, became my wife. I know Catherine would have liked you too, Lily. You two have a lot in common."

He smiled. In many ways, what he had said had made me feel a lot better. He understood the impediments to any future relationship that we might have, even better than I did.

But that didn't change the pending awkwardness of walking into the lecture hall tomorrow morning to listen to a gifted intellectual expound on Faulkner's narrative techniques, an intellectual whose cum was literally dripping from my pussy at that very moment! Besides, I could never replace his wife, and I was uncomfortable with being mentioned in the same context as her, much less being compared to her.

"Dave, last night was really wonderful for me, too. That was the most sensual night of my life. I don't have a lot of experience with men, but that was the best... ah... evening I've ever had, bar none. I think I'm still tingling all over. I didn't know it could be that good. On the other hand, I don't think that I've really thought this through at all, and that scares me a lot."

"What exactly scares you, Lily?"

"Well, for starters, I didn't use birth control, so..." I paused, "there's that."

"Oh, Lily, I am so, so sorry. This is entirely my fault; I shouldn't have assumed anything."

"It's not your fault, Dave! I believe I was begging for you to... ah... to...."

"To

cum

inside you?" I was surprised when he said the word. After the way I had been talking last night, I was now far more embarrassed by such explicit language than Dave was. Last night, with the exception of the sounds he'd made while orgasming, he had been the epitome of restraint and decorum, while I, on the other hand, had used every dirty word that I knew. Now, he seemed unfazed, while I couldn't form the syllables.

"Yes."

"That doesn't matter. A gentleman should always ask, Lily, and I didn't do that. I'm so sorry. What do you want to do?"

"Well, I thought I should probably take "the Morning After" pill. I think the sooner you take it, the better it works."

"Okay, we can walk to the pharmacy as soon as we're done with breakfast. I insist on buying it for you. And Lily, if for some reason, it doesn't work, I want you to know, I'll stand by you. I'm not going to leave you to deal with this on your own... if it comes to that."

"Thank you, I appreciate that. That makes me feel a lot better."

"Still, I sense that there may be something else bothering you. Am I right?"

"Well, yes! I mean, Dave, you're my professor. I'm your student. Do you think that you can overlook what happened last night when we're in academic situations together?"

"Lily, if there is one thing that I

can

promise you, it is that whatever happens to our relationship moving forward, it will not affect me as an instructor in the least. A long time ago, I was a grad assistant who fell in love with one of my undergraduate students, and I know that my love for her did not change my teaching or how it impacted her learning at all, and last night is not going to change our relationship either.

That

I can absolutely promise you. On the other hand, maybe it will bother you. Do you think so?"

"I hope not, but, Dave, there's something else. Last night was really emotionally draining. For me too, but I think, especially for you. You must have exposed a lot of raw feelings. That's hard to ignore, I think."

"Lily... How do I say this tactfully? Last night repaired me. In so many different ways, it healed me, probably not completely -- I doubt that will ever happen -- but, Lily, I can't tell you how differently I feel today. Yes, you're right, there

were

a lot of emotions that were purged from me last night, and that is something that a person, any person, has to continue to work through for him or herself. Those emotions don't just disappear overnight. I know that." He paused, and then without saying anything, he poured us each a cup of coffee. He handed me a cup, and I gratefully accepted. I added a little cream, stirred the coffee with a spoon, and then took a big sip. It was just what I needed.

Then, he continued. "But part of the reason that I couldn't deal with those emotions in the past was that they had manifested themselves in physical ways that only increased my emotional problems." He took a big drink of black coffee himself. "It's hard for me to say this to another person out loud, especially a beautiful woman, but until last night, I was unable to perform in bed. That's not uncommon for someone my age, and so, when it first happened, I thought that maybe I just had some physical issues associated with age. I had waited an entire decade after my wife died to even try to be sexual again, and then I found that I couldn't be sexual."

"But, Lily, after last night, I don't believe my problems

were

physical. I think we both know they were deep-seated psychological issues that prevented me from... well, I think you understand. But after last night, I realize that there aren't any physical issues, at least not when I'm with you! But I guess I don't need to tell

you

that! You were there!

You

saw the effect you had on me!"

He smiled, and then we both drank greedily from our cups. Then he paused again. I could tell he was thinking, and so to stall briefly, he stopped to spoon some fruit onto a plate for me, and then he pointed toward a container of yogurt and a box of granola on the tray next to us. I shook my head affirmatively, and while he continued talking, Dave began preparing my breakfast.

"I was convinced that I was condemned to be impotent, because I could never get past my loss. And then it became a vicious cycle -- I wanted to move on, but if I tried, I couldn't have sex, and if I couldn't have sex, I couldn't really move on. It was the classic

catch-22

. I didn't fully understand the root cause of my impotence, but ultimately the cause didn't matter if I couldn't find the solution."

"But then last night you brought me to an incredible catharsis. Probably the most profound cleansing a person could ever experience, certainly that

I

could ever experience, and, Lily, for that, I can never be too grateful to you. I don't know how you did it, but if you weren't such a promising literary scholar, I would suggest that maybe the field of psychotherapy could use your unlimited talents!" He smiled and handed me the plate. Then, he began working on preparing his own breakfast.

"But, Lily, speaking absolutely selfishly, now that I

have

made that breakthrough, I would like us to keep going. I want you, and, just as importantly, I feel like I need you. I know that sex is probably humankind's basest instinct, but I really want to make passionate love to you again, and I think that doing so is actually healthy for me in some strange way. Our being together could certainly restore my sexual health, and I think, more importantly, it might help me psychologically." He paused. "Now, if that doesn't guilt you into giving yourself up to me again, my skills as a shamelessly self-serving libertine are themselves impotent!"

He took a bite out of some pineapple and smiled at his joke, and I returned the smile. I really did find him incredibly attractive, not just physically, but, in part, because he was so emotionally honest. Besides, he was just a great teacher, who I really admired. And beyond all that, he had furnished me with four mind-boggling orgasms only hours before in the very bed on which we were both now sitting. Maybe Dave

was

being self-serving in wanting to sleep with me again, but I wasn't far behind him with my own selfish desires.

"Dave, I want you too, and as long as our being together won't affect our student/teacher thing and I don't end up getting pregnant, then I want us to continue what we started last night, too."

He smiled again with a sense of both relief and gratitude. "Well, then finish your breakfast and we'll walk down to the pharmacy. Or if you want to, we could take my car. I

think

it still starts!" He laughed. This amazed me, and not just because I had underestimated the power of last evening's breakthrough.

I don't think that Dave had driven that car in at least ten years. I guess I should have been honored that I was the first person that he was willing to take for a ride in it in so long. But suddenly the urgency of getting to the pharmacy was not as strong as it had been. All of that talk of want and desire and passion and all my thoughts of orgasms had produced more tingling between my legs, and the look of yearning on his face had me craving his cock inside me.

"Dave, do you have anywhere you need to be this morning?"

"You mean other than the pharmacy? No, why do you ask?"

"Because if I'm going to let you pay for that product, you might as well get as much value from it as possible, right?" He looked really confused at first, until the light of understanding switched on, and he smiled a knowing grin.

"What are you thinking in that devious brain of yours, Ms. Williams?"

"I was thinking that maybe we could enjoy some breakfast in bed for a little while longer before we go to the pharmacy! Though to be honest, I'd

really

like to take a shower beforehand. Would you mind?"

He laughed. I think my coyness amused him. "Breakfast in bed, huh? You mean something other than yogurt, granola, fruit, coffee and juice? Tell you what, Lily; let's finish our yogurt, granola, fruit, coffee, and juice, and I'll be waiting for you when you get out of the shower. Then, we can have that breakfast in bed!"

I smiled back at him. It was nice of Dave not to make me say what I felt too shy to communicate out loud. It was ironic too, because now I was going to expose myself to him completely. There would be no darkness, no dim blue light to cloak my body this morning. We were both about to completely reveal ourselves to each other, both physically and emotionally. I could see it in his eyes and in the crotch of his jeans; he was as excited as I was.

We finished eating, and then Dave got me a washcloth and towel and showed me to the bathroom. I took a leisurely shower, letting the warm water and soap run sensuously between my legs. The longer I spent there, the hornier I got, and I could feel my prudence and discretion disappearing, like the water swirling down the drain beneath my feet.

I hadn't washed my hair, so I just dried off the rest of my body and combed it. Then, I put my bra and panties back on and walked shamelessly back into the bedroom.

Dave was on the bed. I knew he was naked. He had the covers pulled up to his waist, but it wasn't difficult to tell that he had done so to conceal his erection. It hadn't worked. His right hand was under the covers, which were stretched taught over his pole, like he had just pitched his tent! When I approached the bed, he said breathlessly, "Oh my god, you are unbelievable, Lily! Your loveliness is just devastating!"

I pulled back the covers to reveal Dave's hand gripped tightly around the base of his erect penis, which was pointing suggestively toward the ceiling. His legs were spread slightly, and when he moved his hand away, I could see how hard he was. His balls were hairless and more darkly pigmented than the skin around them, and they hung slackly in his scrotum. The head of his dick was engorged, even more than it had been last night, and it was almost a dark purple in color. The veins in his shaft, like those in his balls, were blue, prominent, and bulging.

"Mmmh," I murmured with intrigue, adding sarcastically, "are you sure you're ready?"