"Best move I ever made," Wayne said. "Never got laid so much in my life! Man, if I was single, my cock would fall off from overuse!"
The bartender gave us the eye and I said, "Not so loud, Man."
We'd just met an hour ago, with Wayne already half-crocked. He was 69 and looked healthy enough, tanned, and definitely happy. We sat at the seaside bar in St. Maarten, admiring the women from the resort in their bikinis. I was staying alone, but Wayne was down from Florida where he lived in a 55-Plus community with his wife.
"We moved in 3 years ago, to get away from the winters up North," he went on. "They got all these club houses and stuff! Parties all the time! Everybody was so friendly! And, I mean friendly!"
The women made it known that they were interested, and his wife was being hit on as well. They compared notes and realized they were smack in the middle of Senior Swingers!
Since Wayne and the Missus had dabbled in such things back in Minnesota, this was a welcome discovery.
"Now, she does her thing, I do mine! If we cross paths, fine. Otherwise, no harm, no foul."
It sounded funny hearing a guy his age go on about getting laid more regularly than I do, and I wondered what Mrs. Wayne looked like. I didn't have to wonder for long.
"Here she comes now, to collect me, I suppose!"
I looked down the beach at a slender woman who was definitely gray enough, but her figure didn't seem to match with what I expected. Instead of a 60-something, from the neck down, she could be late 30's. I watched as she got closer, and she smiled at Wayne, bright white teeth against bronze skin, with pale blue eyes.
"Ah, the love of my life! Baby, come over here, I want you to meet Harry, my new friend!"
Her eyes were on me, still smiling, as she said to him, "It looks to me like someone will be taking a nap before dinner, right?"
"Oh, Nan, we're on vacation!"
"Your whole life is a vacation, you just change locations! Order me a Pina Collada, will you?" She stuck out her hand to me. "Nancy. Hi. I hope he hasn't been bending your ear too much..."
She had a surprisingly firm grip and held my attention, and close up I could see lines around the eyes and mouth, but I swear, if she dyed her hair, she could pass for twenty years younger.
"Not at all, Wayne's been telling me about Florida."
"Oh?" she smiled at him as he ordered her drink. "Did he mention that everyone's an old fart like him?"
"Baby,I told Harry that it was 55+."
"And why did you bother? Harry's got another 25 years before he can even make the age requirement! He doesn't want to hear about what old folks do. He's still living his life!"
I smiled. "Not quite 25. I'm 38."
"I was just telling him about how friendly everybody is..."
Nan took a long pull on her straw, and said, "Ahhh! That's a good one! Taste?" She offered to Wayne and I. We both declined.
I moved over and she slid onto the stool, her legs as tanned as the rest of her. "So, Harry, where are you from?" she asked, those bright eyes seeming to sparkle.
"New York, just down for a week's relaxation."