My Sexual Awaening

I have never done anything like this before and I am nervous in even writing this. However, I would be doing myself an injustice by not telling this story because it marked the beginning of my independence and sexual awakening. I am a 49 year old woman, divorced with one daughter.

My daughter was born when I was sixteen and I dropped out of high school when she was born. I did go back and get a degree when she was a year old. I went through several jobs before I became a nurse when she was ten. I married the father of my daughter when I turned eighteen and remained married to him until 1998.

It had long been a marriage devoid of passion and love. Hell, I don't even think there was the least bit of respect in the relationship. I married him not out of my feelings for him but because I thought my daughter should have a father, her true father. In the summer of 1998, when I was 39, I discovered something I had never known before and it gave me the drive and desire to seek out more than I was at that point. Strangely enough I owe it to my daughter's ex-boyfriend.

They began dating long in their senior year of high school. I chided her on the choice to engage in a long distance relationship; especially with someone from a military town. I never gave the boyfriend, John, the benefit of a doubt and had been extremely hard on him from the moment we met during Christmas of 1993. I personally ruined their New Year's by directly involving myself in their plans throughout his entire stay.

My reasoning for this was to make sure that my daughter was able to graduate high school, college, and get a damn good job without the drama and complications that I had endured. I was critical of any relationship she was in with any boy, but her relationship with John was especially so. Her relationships tended to be very shallow and short-lasting. For her to find a focused interest in this young man, especially several states away, struck me as both odd and inappropriate. From the moment they started dating, she began to talk about things like marriage and children. It worried me that despite everything I had done to discourage this line of thinking; it was the only line of thinking she was following.

After high school, I tried my best to break them up and in her freshmen year I had succeeded by early October, but watched them get back together over the next four years several times. She could never get him very far off her mind and he seemed able to possess her entirely in a way that confused and frustrated me. It was beyond my understanding at that point in my lif, but having experienced him myself I now completely understand. My Beth craved him, mostly sexual, as I would later find out, and every relationship she had between going back to him found her restless and frustrated. Believe me, I understand sexual frustration, I had never had an orgasm during intercouse and definitely never with my husband. She would graduate from the University of Tennessee and he became a manager for a fast food restaurant. He received a transfer to a small town in Virginia and my daughter would follow him, getting a job as a counselor for "troubled" children.

I ignored him during her graduation ceremony and made fun of him behind his back. I even did this in front of my daughter, which I now regret. I was not aware that she had moved there to live with him until thie singular, fateful day in August of 1998, of which I am writing. I guess I was naïve enough to think that she got her own place to live. She never told me certain aspects of her job and I found them out that very day as well.

My husband and I were supposed to travel to Virginia to spend the week with her. My husband had something come up and had to cancel the trip. He was constantly doing things like this, making plans and then backing out. Especially when they involved me. I figured even if he hasn't going, it would be worth it. I needed to get away from him and his attitude, Plus, I got to see my Beth. I was strongly determined to visit her, especially with John so close to her. She had given us her address months prior to this to send her the rest of her belongings. I figured that I would show up at her apartment and surprise her. I never expected to experience what I did.

First, I pulled up to her apartment. Number one, it really wasn't an apartment. It was an old plantation-styled house split into several so-called apartments. I saw her car there, luckily, but I quickly noticed that John's car was there as well. I decided not to ruin a perfectly good morning by being around him, so I had breakfast at the local Golden Corral and decided I'd wait until he left. I tried calling her but she would never answer. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on, right?

I returned to her apartment around two and saw her car there. John was still there too. His little Metro stood out like a sore thumb to me. Unable to get a hold of her, I decided that I would now interupt their time together, sparking thoughts of what illicit things they were doing. As I parked my car and began to walk up to the door of this house, the rage within me began to build as I tried to block what carnal things they were doing in this building.

I walked up the stairs and knocked on her door. There was no answer. I placed my ear to the door and heard someone moving about on the other side. I began to knock again, more insistantly than before and it wasn't until my knocking became a heavy thud that the door swung open.

My eyes widened as it was not my daughter standing before me but John; drenched from head to toe with nothing but a towel on. The towel, I might add, was hastily wrapped around his waist. The towel was bound by a loose knot and reinforced by his left hand. He had obviously just gotten out of the shower. His slick head of brown hair was further proof of that assumption. His right hand was still on the door knob. He looked confused as he had opened the door, but annoyed as the words "What the fuck!" were probably the next to escape his lips. He probably held his tongue because he saw me. Despite our differences, looking back now, he was always very respectful to me and had never heard him cuss before this day.

Now I had to admit that John was an attractive man. He wasn't a muscle man and he wasn't a tooth pick. He had a bit of a pouch for a belly and had broad shoulders. I had seen him maybe a dozen times before in swimming trunks and paid him no mind, he was far too young for me to be interested in and besides I was married. Beth had always talked about his eyes and his long lashes, both of which drew her in and captivated her. He was nothing special to me, why should I have ever noticed him? Today I would learn how wrong I had been.

"Is Beth home?" I asked him to which he replied no, "Where is she?" I shot back and he told me that she was at work. When I asked him what time she got home and he told me that she'd be back Friday morning, I flipped out. My eyes must've been red as hell. I know my face was. I could feel the heat of my anger taking over. I didn't know, at the time, that there was no central air in this building and that would only add to my overheated condition.

First I was angry because she was on some work related trip for another two days and had not bothered to tell me. If she had answered her phone once in the past week, she would have known I was coming to visit. Second, I was pissed that he was here in her apartment, using her shower and generally making himself at home while she was gone. I just knew that he had not gotten his own apartment and talked her into letting him live with her. That added with the continued drama with my husband had sent me over the edge, finally after 21 years of marriage, I had come to the end of wit with my darling husband's shit. This wasn't helping.

I was so mad. I didn't hesitate to enter the apartment and begin to yell at him, pointing my finger at him, jabbing him in his chest repeatedly. He backed up, the look on his face was one of undeniable shock and confusion. I slammed the door behind me and continued to yell at him for being here in my daughter's apartment and for corrupting her since the first day they started dating. In my mind, I was convinced he was up to no good and abandoned my threatening stance in front of him to check out the rest of the small apartment. The thought of him having another girl here entered my mind. When I saw some thongs on the floor, I picked them up and waved them in his face.

He told me it belonged to Beth and I was insistant that my Beth would not wear such things. She never has. John suggested that maybe I didn't know my daughter as well as I thought, which pissed me off even more. By now, I felt sweat dripping down my forehead. Adrenaline had begun to run through my veins in the hopes that I would be able to finally take this bastard down and villify him enough that Beth would leave him. His cheating would be the icing on that cake.

I returned to the familiar place in front of him and began to poke him again. He had shifted his towel slightly and was trying to retie the knot as I got back in his face. I asked him why he was dressed that way and how dare he just stand there and not get on some decent clothes in my presence. My God, I was being such a bitch.

I caught his eyes looking down at my blouse. The top three buttons were undone and gave a decent glimpse of my chest. Now, I'm not well endowed but I am a 34DD and at 5'7" weighed 120 lbs at the time. I looked down to see what he was gawking at and when I realized it, I slapped him as hard as I could and called him a disrespectful pig. He tried to turn and walked away but I shoved hard into the mantle and got directly in his face. I ignored the increasingly growing and changing demeanor in his face as I continued to back him into a wall.

He shoved me away and told me to stay back. He began to let go with all of his frustration. He had known that I had talked about him to Beth. She had told him everything. He told me that this was his apartment and since she was gone from Sunday morning to Friday morning, she felt that she shouldn't waste the money on rent. She didn't have access to "her" phone because it was locked away at the camp for only emergency purposes. These were all facts that Beth had not told me. He also told me that they had broken up a few weeks ago, during one of her weekends off. They had continued to keep the living arrangements as they were but he had found it too difficult to live with her if they were just friends. She had been promising that she would move her stuff out and stay with one of her friends for three weeks. She had yet to do so and he expressed his anger about that. He made me angry as he talked about my daughter and her lies. I couldn't decide if he was telling the truth or not and in my irrational state I didn't care. I was angry. At everything and everyone.

When he began to talk about my marriage and how obviously unhappy I was, he told to stop taking my frustration out on him and put it use to change my situation or shut the hell up.I wanted to slap him again, this time for daring to challenge me. He grabbed my arm and pulled it close to him, drawing me against him. In surprise to his reflexes, I tried to hit him again. I brought up my other arm and it nicked him in the side of the head, near his ear. He thrust me against him and forced me to be still. I fought violently against him.

All my disappointment and rage, all the dissatisfaction of my life was coming to the surface and poor John was there to take the brunt of it. With every attempt he made to hold me in place, the more furious I became. I felt trapped in my marriage with a husband who ignored me. I felt betrayed by my daughter, who I had just discovered lied to me. All that rage and anger which had been bottled up for years now had an outlet. I focused it all on John. He stood there and held me against him while I violently fought against him with an intent to hurt him.

I as I stood pressed against him, my bottom must've been pressing against him, because I felt a sudden poke against me. It riled me up even more. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught him looking down at himself and his eyes widened. I took that moment of distraction to elbow him in his stomach. He released me and I turned around and faced him. My eyes were drawn instantly to what had poked me. It was his cock, strong and hard, which had emerged from behind his towel and now captured my attention and I'm not afraid to say it now, but I was when it happened. I admit to taking a quick look and being impressed, maybe aroused a little at that point, but it was lost in the continuing storm.

In my anger, I began to yell at him about his indecency and even though I could tell that he was uncomfortable, I pressed him further, until I had backed him against the mantle again. He had been trying to readjust the towel again but my constant prodding and hitting foiled his efforts. Unable to move him backward anymore, I tried to slap him one more time but he caught my hand again. When he did, the towel fell and revealed all of his masculinity to me.

I gasped, both in shock of what I saw and how strongly he held me. His grip was tighter now than before. My other hand was brought up and he caught it again too. He pulled hard me against him and I continued to fight against him.

I remember him saying "We could do this all day long but I refuse to take anymore of your shit!" I was stunned. He cursed at me. The disbelief showed on my face and my ragged breathing against his chest, only helped to cause his condition to worsen. "I understand if you're pissed at the life you've had. Don't take it out on your daughter. Don't you dare take it out on me. Take responsibility for what you've done and get yourself into a better situation because no one else is going to do it for you!" It was the second time in several minutes that he had said that to me. I stopped for a moment to finally listen to how powerful a statement that was.

I remember that now as clearly as the day he said it and I lifted my head to look up at him. For the first time, I looked into his eyes. I mean really looked at them. Beautiful, big and blue. I won't lie, my heart skipped a beat. There was no anger in him. There was no judgment. There was only calm and peaceful gentleness, despite everything I had just done.

My anger was quickly turning to something else. Something more primal and definitely more dangerous. As my rage subsided, I became wholly overwhelmed by thoughts and emotions that shouldn't have been in my head. Despite my loveless union, I was still married. In 21 years, I had never contemplated sleeping with someone else. I couldn't ruin the carefully constructed life that I had created for myself. I realized that I had been living my life for other people. Beth was an adult now and didn't need me. My husband didn't. That was blatantly obvious. I gave all of myself to others and when I peeled away that fact, I was nothing.

Standing here, in John's defensive embrace, I found myself realizing how unhappy I truly was and wanted to make a statement against what he said. I wanted freedom. I could've melted in his arms at that moment because I had never experienced a moment of clarity like that in my 39 years of life. I wanted out of my marriage. I wanted to breathe freely. I was starting to feel electric and alive. I felt something wholly unfamiliar begin to stir within the center of my being. It was at that moment that I wanted my daughter's ex-boyfriend.

I cursed myself for thinking the things I did after hating John's existance for so long. I couldn't help myself to what I wanted at that moment. In reality, I just wanted to feel something good for the first time in my life. John was the right person at the right time, because he made me feel powerful. I gave in to the desire which was now taking over me. I grabbed the arms which bounded me and brought him towards me. I kissed him square on the lips. There was a shock which riveted through his body as our lips met but I couldn't deny the slightest bit of sin which had taken over me. I felt alive.

When he realized what was happening, he pulled away. Out of respect for Beth, he couldn't. After all, I was her mother. I cursed him under my ragged breath for his damned principles. I told him that I needed him. That I wanted him. He knew that it hasn't him that I wanted. I wanted the experience. Afterwards, I discovered that it was indeed him that I wanted. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close again.

It was so exciting and new and I loved it. I had heard stories of encounters like this but had always thought they were fake or exaggeratted. I was now experiencing one. I felt my nipples harden and my pulse quicken as my reality became something more from Cinemax rather than my own life.

I laid kiss after kiss on hip lips before his mouth parted to allow me deeper access. His arms slowly drew around me, pulling me tighter against him. I moaned against his tongue as I felt his cock press up against my pants. As our kiss deepened, I felt my hair fall down from it's bun and fall over my shoulders. It was freedom. It was raw and I loved it.

I felt fingers begin to draw up and around my waist to cup the back of my neck. Our lips parted and he pulled away from me. He looked into my eyes lovingly and I felt a stirring which I had never experienced before. After all of these years, I began to understand what it was that drew my Beth to him. I nodded to comply with his silent request as he leaned in close and began to draw his lips softly across my neck.

His hands drew away from my neck to the button of my slacks. Before I realized that he had touched me, I felt the rush of air hit my flesh as they fell into a rustled mess on the floor. Together, we stepped out of the puddle made by the pants and I laughed with delirious pleasure as two hands took possession of my bottom and pressed up fully so that his cock slid between my clothed pussy. I felt a tickle inside my belly as I thrust my hips against him instinctively. It was a plea that would go unanswered for a moment longer, I know now that I was not ready to receive the gift he would give me.

John's hands fervously swept under my blouse and around my belly, massaging it softly. His lips lowered to consume the flesh between the parted fabric of my blouse. I felt my body sway like a tree in the breeze to his touch. My husband had never made me feel like this. No man had ever made me feel like this.

His constant teasing and retreating was making me throbbing wet, I'm not ashamed to say. I loved what he was doing to me. He made me feel important and loved. I had barely noticed that his hands had left my belly to trail at the gape of my blouse. Before I could overcome the sensations he made me feel, my blouse was on the floor and he was kissing the fleshy mounds left uncovered by my bra.

A singular hand moved to my back, tracing my spine before unclasping my rather unsensational bra., freeing my breasts. I reveled in the way his mouth claimed them. He did everything he could possibly have done with his lips, tongue, and lips but never once touched my nipples and it drove me crazy. I was so sexually awake and on edge for his next touch.

I felt fingers begin to massage the hairs of my pussy, first,the mound of it before dipping inside my folds. I shook violently against his touch and felt my knees weaken immediately. He didn't pursue his search any deeper but barely brought his fingertips against my clit. It drove me wild. I felt a tickle inside my belly and it began to consume me, like a wave, before the tickle became an indescribable sensation that was more akin to fire than anything I had experienced to that point in life.