You remember the old jokes, 'we have some good news and some bad news?' The good news is an attractive bloke has moved in, right across the landing from me; the bad news is that he is not only very attractive but about half my age. I'll go over later and introduce myself, it's only three o'clock now, well a girl has to try: my God I'm so wet just thinking about him. He is tall, dark, and hansom and, at least in my day-dreams, a lean mean fucking machine. I'm divorced with three teenage kids, at least they'll be out tonight, thank God it's Friday. I have gone to seed a bit, but I do have lovely big soft white tits and broad sexy hips, at least that's what I tell myself; OK, if you insist I'm a bit on the fat side.
Oh well, got to start the kid's meal; eggs, chips, sausage and beans with grilled tomatoes, mushrooms, lots of bread and butter, gallons of tea. Peel the spuds, chip them and leave them to soak. I'll have a bath now, before the kids get home and use up all the hot water: it is so hard not to touch myself as I soak, but if I have a wank now I'll be less determined later. It's six months since I had a man, and two years since I had a man make me come: then the guy turned out to be a one night stand, selfish bastards, all of them. In the bath I shave my pubes off; after I towel myself dry with my big fluffy white towel and don a white blouse, buttoned low over a skimpy bra, a short, navy, pleated skirt, red suspenders and black stockings; I wear a long apron over this lot so, hopefully, the kids won't notice too much.
By the time the kids are fed, watered and ready for the off it's eight. "Hey Mum you look, well like your trying to be, like, I dun'no, anyway bye: like don't wait up for us, we'll care for little sis', keep her hymen intact 'n' all that stuff." 'Huh,' I think, 'if that girl's still a virgin then so am I.'
As I cross to his door there's a flicker in his hall; Jesus he's rebuilt the door in a day, or at the very least fixed it: the window has a net curtain over it, the locks have been changed and the door dull with undercoat, I just know tomorrow it will be glossed. The flicker is candle light, same as me when I moved in, he has no electric yet. I tap on the door and get no response. I rap louder and he opens the door, dripping, just a towel round his middle. "Uh, high."
"I live across the landing, in the flat opposite. I saw you had no electric," I improvise, "so if you want to come over and watch telly, or something, to pass the evening, then feel free. Once you're ready that is; sorry to have disturbed you like this."
"Thanks: that's kind of you. I'll be twenty, thirty minutes. I'll look forward to it."
His big boyish grin melted my heart and caused other regions to become even more soggy than they were previously: thank God I had no panties on because, if I had, I would have had to change them.
I jumped when he knocked on the door, I opened it "high, I'm Judy Hesmondhalgh, I'm your neighbour."
"James, James Wilkinson, delighted to meet you. I slipped out first and bought a bottle, it's muck I'm afraid, the off-licence is dreadful; beer, plonk, cooking sherry and over priced spirits."
Doubtless the same off-licence I'd bought my bottle of plonk from, 'oh well,' I decided, 'alcohol is, after all, alcohol; let's hope it frees up his inhibitions'. As we shook hands I noticed his eyes slither, albeit discretely, over my prominent boobs, 'that's a good sign,' I thought; 'better flash my suspenders later'.
"Have you eaten?" I enquired.