When I graduated from college I landed a pretty good job with the company I'd interned with the last three summers. I needed a place to live, and one of my new co-workers recommended an condominium complex not far from town. The real estate manager, a dapper, coiffed woman named Susan, showed me around, and while I liked the unit she showed me, it was just too big for a single guy like me.
"And it's a bit out of my price range," I admitted.
"Well," she said, "We do have some small apartments under the big double-sized units. For rent, not to buy. They're under the big double units," she pointed to the large, wide, two-story condos that anchored each corner of the complex. "We only have one available, the other apartment is used as our sales office."
"Well, let's have a look," I said dubiously. I didn't really want to rent, but Mom raised me to always be polite, so I followed her to the apartment.
It was nice. Very nice. Good sized kitchen, big living room, a bedroom with a nice master bathroom and another room that I could turn into a really nice office. As we walked out the door I said, "I hate to sound crass, but how much is it per month?"
She closed the door and quoted the price. I winced. Not as much as I'd planned on spending for a mortgage, but definitely more than I wanted to blow on rent. I was just about to thank her for her patience when I heard heavy, HEAVY, footsteps clumping down the stairs to the tiny courtyard that fronted the building.
The man who made those thunderous footfalls was about the biggest goddam human being I'd ever encountered. I'd say he was about 50 years old, stood more than six-and-a-half-feet tall, and weighed like about 300 pounds, none of it looked like fat. He wore a white T-shirt and jeans and I could see the tattoos that covered his arm and chest. This behemoth was going to be my neighbor? That made up my mind for sure.
"Hey, Susan," the giant boomed. "How's it going?"
I thought she would cringe in fear, but she said, "Great, Buddy. I was just showing this young man the apartment under your house."
He gave me a look that made me take a step back. "You noisy?"
"Um, well, I haven't decided to..."
"I don't mind noisy, sometimes," he said, "just so long as it isn't that goddam rap music. You listen to rap?"
"Um, well, no, I don't listen to rap all that often, but I don't think I'll be moving..."
"Unless it's older stuff, Public Enemy, that's cool. None of that Eminem shit. You into Eminem?"
It was like a job interview in hell. "No, I don't, but I really don't think I'm going to be taking this..."
There were more footsteps coming down the stairs, light, quick, bouncy steps. The giant said, "C'mon, honey! We're gonna be late!"
The woman who appeared from around the corner was, without a doubt, the sexiest, hottest, most fantabulous-looking female I have ever seen. She was maybe 40 years old and was so relentlessly gorgeous that I forgot about the huge man glowering at me. She was maybe a foot shorter than her husband, and had rich honey-blonde hair and dark brown eyes that fixed on me with delight. Her body was luscious and ripe, her full breasts just a bit too big for her slender frame, her sprayed-on jeans showing two half-moon shadows from the curve of her tight, magnificent ass.
"And who are you?" she said, her glittering smile alone giving me a stage-3 erection.
Her huge husband said, "Susan was showing him the downstairs apartment."
"Are you our new neighbor?" she exclaimed, those brown eyes making me go gooey inside. She touched the inside of my wrist with her fingertips, and I shifted quickly to stage-4.
Susan said, "Well, he said..."
"...I said I can't wait to move in!" It was an impulse, it was stupid, but the idea of living so close to a woman so exquisite overwhelmed my rational mind.
"Really?" Susan asked, incredulous.
"Really?" the goddess squealed.
"Really!" I said.
"OK, fine, he's really moving in," the giant rumbled. "Two seconds ago he wasn't sure, now he's moving in. What do you think changed his mind?" He answered his own question by pinching his wife's bottom, and she squealed with delight.
"Oh, that's ridiculous!" she said, and then abruptly wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me. Welcome to stage-5. "I'm sure we'll become the best of friends."
"I'd like that," I said.
"Yeah, I bet you would," the huge man grumbled. It was weird, he obviously knew that I was enormously turned on by his wife, and that she was blatantly flirting with me, but it didn't bother him. Then again, what did a man like THAT have to fear from little 'ol me?
He extended a huge, calloused hand. "I'm Buddy," he said. "This is my wife, Cindy."
I shook his hand and said, "Nice to meet you, my name's Nick." I shook Cindy's hand and she leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek. She said, "It's nice to meet you, Nicky! We'll have so much fun together!"
"Maybe later," Buddy said, taking her hand. "We're late, let's go." He steered her to the parking lot and said, "You need help moving in, just let me know." They turned the corner, and just like that they were gone.
"Well," Susan said with a chipper smile, "I guess we have some papers to sign!"
With Cindy gone, my brain resumed normal functioning. Did I really want to spend all this money on an apartment? Did I really want to live below a beast like Buddy, below a force of nature like Cindy?
What I finally decided was, hey, what the hell? If I didn't, I'd regret it the rest of my life. So I ignored the logical part of my brain and answered with my heart. Or, perhaps, another vital organ.
"Show me some dotted lines," I said, and followed her to the sales office.
*****
Buddy took an immediate liking to me, thank the gods. He had two sons older than me from a previous marriage who lived out of state, and he took a fatherly interest in me. Well, not exactly fatherly. He liked taking me out with his buddies to the local bar and getting me loaded with the rest of the crew from the welding company he owned, and I think they all liked seeing a white-collar technical writer like me arm-wrestling guys who could eat me whole in three bites. He was a fabulous guy.
And Cindy...Cindy was more woman than even Buddy could handle. She and Buddy had been married for five years, the second marriage for both. She didn't have kids of her own and she absolutely doted on me. But like Buddy, she was not exactly a maternal presence. She was constantly flirting with me, introducing me to girls when we would go out, asking the morning after if I'd gotten lucky. They were both far more adventurous and party-hearty than me, and they wanted to get me out in the world more, corrupt me a little bit, get some swagger in my step.
They were definitely not your typical middle-aged couple. A short staircase led up from my landing to their house. One night, coming home from a late night at the office, I heard a strange, WHUMP WHUMP coming from upstairs. It sounded like someone was banging against their door. I tiptoed upstairs, wondering if it could be a burglar, trying to pick a lock. I peered around the corner...
And saw Buddy, his jeans down around his ankles, and Cindy, on her knees, hands wrapped around his shaft, furiously sucking at the tip of his cock. It was an mesmerizing sight, Buddy enormously erect, his cock a huge white tusk, and Cindy, her blonde hair swirling about her face, actually slamming Buddy against the door with the fury of her fellating. His hips shivered and his breath came in sighs of pleasure, and the wet sounds of her mouth on him gave me the all-over shivers. It was a scene out of my wildest fantasies. I felt faint, and my cock, while not as girthy as Buddy's, was just as hard.
He moaned. "Yeaaah," was all he said, and then Cindy raised her eyes to his and she let him slip from her mouth. She stroked him with her gorgeous hands, her long red nails tickling his balls, and her tongue swabbed his glans.
