I have thought of little else since Helen had her threesome with Michael and James.
In particular and especially how she didn't want me to reclaim her that night, or since.
I fully understand that on that evening she may not have felt like more sexual intercourse, especially after spending all evening with two assertive virile men.
However, I really wanted to show her that although she had just been fucked by two amazing bulls (her words), she was still the amazing woman I met all of these years ago and totally focus of my enduring love.
I make beautiful love to her.
They fuck her.
There is a massive difference.
I don't doubt they and Helen had had a fantastic sexy time, but why would she avoid my attentions since then?
It has now been several days of mental turmoil since her threesome.
Helen has been keeping very, VERY busy and she refuses to talk to me about it.
Her lack of communication has had my emotions all over the place. After all, it was Helen who told me we needed better communication. Now she's not communicating with me at all!
Questions have been swimming around in my head night and day.
Has she fallen for Michael or James?
Was the sex so good with James that she longs for him and not me?
Was it a mistake encouraging her to follow her sexual ambitions?
She was after all kissing him passionately at our hotel room door after being with him all evening.
Is she feeling guilty and is now blaming me for encouraging her to do this?
Was the sex so good with those guys that she no longer wants to have sex with me?
These thoughts just kept going around and around my head.
I needed to get out of the house, go for a walk and breathe some fresh air.
"I'm going out!" I shouted as I grabbed my coat and noisily shut the front door behind me.
I arrived home several hours later to find Helen sat in the kitchen red faced with tears in her eyes. She looked like she had been crying for quite a while.
My stomach immediately threw summersaults and my heart began to race.
Panic had definitely set in.
I braced myself for the bad news. I sort of knew her falling in love could happen, but I had convinced myself that our relationship was strong and Helen would always be mine.
With her hands wringing and trembling in her lap, she spoke.
"Sit down."
I nervously sat, waiting for the axe to fall.
What seemed to make things worse, she looked absolutely gorgeous and worse still she was wearing my favourite fragrance. It all contributed to my feeling of dread.
"Since that evening in the hotel I have been having a bad time justifying being with Michael and James, whilst leaving you sat in that hotel room all on your own." she said shakily.
I tried to cut in and reassure her, but she immediately held up her hand to stop me talking.
"Don't interrupt, please!"
"Now, as I was saying, I was having such a wonderful time with those boys that to my eternal shame I didn't once think about you and how you may have been feeling.
The boys were urging me on by saying things like, "Bet he's wanking himself to oblivion, he wants this for you, he will be so horny!"
But then I saw your crestfallen face when you witnessed me kissing James goodnight outside of our hotel room.
It totally broke my heart.
I didn't mean for this lifestyle to hurt you. You are still the love of my life and if you want me to, I will give up seeing other men."
Words failed me.
I had totally misread my beautiful wife.
She hadn't actually fallen in love.
Instead she had thought that I was unhappy with our new lifestyle.
As I had misread her, she had misread my insecurity upon seeing her kissing James.
I had originally warned her that I might be jealous, but I would be able to deal with my jealousy knowing she was having the best time.
While I was taking all of this in she frustratedly spat the words, "Say something then!
Don't just sit there gawping!"
Words had literally failed me and I just sat there trying to process what she had told me.
"Well!" she said impatiently.
"Ok Helen, I was hurt. But not for the reasons you think. I was hoping you would close the door on your bull, smile at me sexily and perhaps kiss me passionately, but you just walked on past me.
I did have certain expectations about what would happen when you returned from your big cock fun.
I was expecting you to be excited to tell me about your sex filled evening and if nothing else tease me and maybe want to see how it had turned me on.
I was realistic and didn't think you'd want full on sex with me after having your brains totally fucked out of you all evening, but for you to cold shoulder me was cruel and hurtful."
"As you were having your pussy ploughed, I had imagined you returning to me later and perhaps giving me a hand job whilst letting me have a blow by blow account of your evening. Or maybe showing me some photos of your fun. I got absolutely nothing!"
"I'm so sorry. But if you we're excited when I deliberately snogged James in front of you, you needed to tell your fucking face.
You actually looked completely horrified, not sexually excited."
"Well, I was excited Helen and to be honest I still am.
I have always wanted the best for you and that includes sex.
Even though I have been worried about the consequences of your reaction that night, I have still been wanting to know how it went for you. I wake up mornings with real erections for the first time since my ED became an issue."
"Let me get this straight, you still want to know?"
"Yes Helen, I absolutely do!"
"And you still want me to fuck other men?"
I was by now becoming quite frustrated and angry. How could she not see that me knowing she's being fucked by other men turns me on tremendously? How can she misread me so much?
I needed to sort this out once and for all.
"Helen, let me make this as clear to you as I possibly can.
