You can hate it when the move is on. New town, no friends, pack it and unpack it. Misery personified. I hate to move, But:
The last box was out of the car. The truck was empty and gone and a new phase of life was about to begin. The divorce was over, the later romance had subsided and I was tired as hell as I sat down to look at the boxes and noting the cruel fact that not one thing was in the right place. The door bell sounded.
“That is all I need.” I mouthed to myself as I looked out the front window and saw nothing. I rose and went to the door, opened it cautiously and saw a petitie older woman with a tremendous bustline that she was not hiding from me or the world.
“Hi, ya’ll” she blurted out with accompany smile and deep south drawl. “My name’s Jerry, with a J. A’m just two doors down and Ah wanted to know if you would like to come over for dinner tomorrow night?”
Thank goodness she didn’t offer tonight. The body is tremendous, but my god I am tired right now. “That is most thoughtful,” I undrawled back. “Tomorrow would be very nice. How many doors down?”
“Ahm in the middle townhouse in the next unit. How about 6 pm,” she drawled one more time. Jerry turned and moved back down the short walkway. My goodness, what a body. How old can she be with that body. Her legs look like the legs of an 18-year old. The only thing that looked old was her white hair. Neatly done, but white nontheless.
“Jerry,” I said with some force and it made her turn. “I’m sorry. My name is Dick, with a D.”
“Oh, I knew that. Ya’ll come in from Washington, DC aren’t ya?”
She didn’t wait for an answer, but I could see the slight smile as she turned the corner and headed for her house.
Sleep was easy and the morning came quickly. I made one early decision. Don’t try to do the whole thing in one day. That settled I negotiated the day quite well, stopped at 5:15 pm. took a shower, got into a pair of shorts and a golf shirt, my sandles and no socks.
I rang the bell at 6 pm on the button. Only seconds elapsed and the door opened and I knew it didn’t matter what she was going to feed me, it was going to be straight pleasure just looking at her.
Jerry was, I found out quickly, a southern belle with a penchant for vodka and orange juice, tipped the scales at 105 pounds, admitted to being just over 5’1” and was, she proudly announced, 61.
“God, you don’t look 61 in the face and hardly over 18 with the body,” I offered, being more thruthful than flattering.
“That’s so nice,” She came back with the full drawl in motion. “Ahm going to like you. Now, what ya’ll want to drink? Some vodka?”
“Don’t drink,” I blurted out.
“What? You a preacher type?”
“No. I used to be very good at drinking. Many years of practice, then I realized I didn’t like the taste, so I quit. No big deal, just didn’t need it anymore.”
“Okay,” she said with a tone of relief. “I can buy all that. Pepsi okay?”
“That’s fine, that or ice tea.”
“Great, you’ve got some southern in ya after all. Ice tea, sweet, it is. Now its my turn, give me the statistics.”
“I thought you knew all that already and you didn’t give me all of your statistics anyway.”
“38 DDs”
“Okay, 6-0, 230, 64 and it gets hard.”