Marlee Ramsey was still a looker: even in her mid-forties, with her round, extra-soft body, people often mistook her for ten years younger. More than that, people often were surprised at how she didn't see this in herself. None were more surprised than Seth Donovan.
Seth was the best friend of Marlee's son, Zach. The two boys had grown up together, and now in their early twenties, were still a tight pair. They often spent weekends and holidays and summers at each others' houses. Seth was there when Zach's dad packed up and left him and Marlee more than ten years ago. Seth held Zach's head when he would get drunk to try to make the pain go away. And while he was there, he watched Marlee.
Marlee did her best to keep her chin up. She did her best to forge on, to make a new and better life for herself and for Zach. She had always thought that there would be another man, another one just around the corner, that would love her unconditionally; another man that would be there for her in all the ways that her ex-husband wasn't. With each passing year, her hopes began to fade. With each date, her self-esteem began to wither away. She became upset that men looked first at her body without regards of her mind or her sharp wit. She began to withdraw from social gatherings. She began to shut down.
On the outside, though, Marlee didn't let her disappointments show. She was the picture of strength. She tackled her job with gusto, even taking on extra ones when the budget got tight. She helped Zach maneuver through high school, supported his every effort in sports and beyond, hosted countless sleepovers. And at each of those things, Seth was there as well.
It was the nights that got to her the most. When the house was quiet and her room was dark, it was there that she found loneliness waiting. It was at those times when Seth would often pass by her bedroom door and hear soft crying. He never understood how such a great, beautiful, smart, funny, caring woman could be left so alone for so long.
When it was time for Seth and Zach to go off to college, it was Marlee that drove them to the campus. She was proud to see them spreading their wings, but she was also sad to know that her weekends wouldn't be filled with the sounds of boys eating her out of house and home, or fighting over the PlayStation controllers or the remote control for the TV. She knew her life wouldn't be the same without them.
The boys unloaded the van, and when the last of the boxes was removed, Zach gave his mom a hug.
"Thanks, Mom, for bringing us. We'll be home soon."
Holding back the tears, she said, "I know you will, baby. I look forward to hearing about how school is! Please be smart, and call me, okay?"
Zach nodded and backed off so Seth could give his second Mom a hug. He wrapped her in his arms, and noticed how good she felt. He noticed how good she smelled: like perfume and cookies. Like home. He felt her relax in his arms and then felt the tell-tale signs of sniffling. He took her by the chin, and turned her face up to him, watching her tears roll down her cheeks.
"Wow. I'm actually getting to SEE you cry, not just hear it ..."
Marlee eyed him. "What do you mean, Seth?"
"For years, I've heard you cry at night through your bedroom door. But you never do it in the light of day ..."
"Yes I do. Just not in front of you boys."
"Why not? Maybe it would've given me a chance to make it better ..."
Seth wiped the tear away with his thumb then kissed her cheek lightly. His lips made her cheeks burn, and her brain come alive with forbidden thoughts. On her way home, she wondered if ... no. It couldn't be. She wouldn't allow herself to think of this young man as anything more than her almost-son.
As college years came and went, so, too, did Seth. He didn't come around as much, even though he kept in close touch with Zach via email and text messaging. The last she had heard from Seth's parents was that he had taken a job in a neighboring state and was making good money. Every so often, Seth would phone the house, and he and Marlee would have a quick chat before Zach took the phone and the boys caught up with their lives. Each time, Marlee would think back to that chaste kiss on the college campus lawn. Each time she heard Seth's voice, she would wonder.
In the summertime, Zach decided to take a job at a local camp for disabled kids. He thought that his training as a physical therapist as well as his psychology minor would serve the camp well, and evidently the director agreed, because he hired Zach on the spot. The only drawback was that he would be gone from May to September.
"Mom, this is great opportunity. Will you be okay here by yourself?"
"Zachary, do I really strike you as the kind of woman that cannot handle herself? Surely you don't see me as that helpless and weak!"
Zach cowed at her tone. "No, Mom. I just mean ... well ... Seth told me about you crying and I've noticed that you still do that sometimes. I've tried to get you to talk to me about it, but I guess it's weird for you. The house will be empty with out me and ..."
"Honey, I was alone while all of you boys were in school. I can handle it. Go. Do. Please grow up and have your own life! I will be fine, I promise!"
With that, Zach hugged his mother hard, then set about the task of packing to leave the next weekend. Marlee swallowed hard when she saw the boxes marked "sheets" and "towels". Inside, she knew she wasn't ready for 'alone', but couldn't bear the thought that Zach felt so responsible for her.
It took about two weeks after Zach left for the loneliness to really settle in. Marlee found herself wandering from room to room, searching for something she couldn't put her finger on. Her tears flowed freely, and her frustration at her lack of control grew. Then it happened. The doorbell rang.
Marlee jerked open the door absentmindedly. Normally, she would have looked outside to see who was there, but she had been crying and just didn't think. A figure filled up the doorway before she could push the door closed again, he had it open. Her eyes focused on his face. It was Seth.
"Hi, pretty lady," he said, sweeping her into one of his famous bear hugs. "Where's Zach?"
Catching her breath, Marlee pushed at Seth. "He's at a camp for disabled kids. I thought he would've gotten in touch to tell you. He'll be gone all summer."
Seth looked at Marlee's face. "You've been crying again, haven't you ..."
"Yes." She looked at the floor like a scolded little girl.
Seth hugged her again. This time, he ran his fingers into her hair and pulled her close. Marlee was so hungry for some affection that she allowed him to hold her for a long time.
When they finally broke the embrace, Marlee looked at Seth for a very long time. He just smiled at her, winked, and said,
"You know, I already knew that Zach wasn't here. I also figured you would need some company. I hope you don't mind that I came by. You wanna make some popcorn and watch a movie or something?"
