They gathered as they did every morning during the school year, first in ones and twos and then finally a whole gaggle of laughing, loud-talking children. A mix of grade school age kids with a smattering of older ones probably in middle school, they would mill around the street corner waiting for the bus that would pick them up precisely at 7:25 A.M.
Josh Raskin stood at the large bay window in the front of his house, smiling at the throng as they played and gossiped. A few sat on the grass that was technically part of his yard with their school books across their legs writing frantically trying to finish some forgotten homework assignment. Josh didn't mind their small bit of trespassing. He wished he could say that for his spouse.
"Are those kids trampling our lawn again?" called his wife, Veronica, from the kitchen.
"They're not hurting anything, Dear. It's just grass, and they're sitting on it."
Veronica swept into the room, a steaming cup of coffee clutched in one hand, pushing her long, straight brunette hair out of her face with the other.
"I caught a bunch of them running through my flower bed last week. I swear I've complained to the school three times that they should move the bus stop somewhere else. I don't need this aggravation."
"The bus stop has been on this corner for many years, and besides your flowers will be dying off with the coming of fall in a month."
"That's so like you always defending those children. To Hell with what your wife wants..."
"It's not like that, Veronica. I just think you're being a bit unreasonable."
"Whatever," she said dismissively turning to go back into the kitchen.
Josh pulled his attention from the kids outside starting to call after his wife but thinking better of it at the last minute and closing his mouth. It seemed like most of their conversations ended this way these days with Veronica turning her back and walking away. This was especially true when the subject involved the bus stop, or anything having to do with children in general. The issue had become too sensitive to touch lest they find themselves in another fight, another in the endless arguments that went nowhere. Not that it mattered anymore, the time to fix things had long past, and now it was just a regret one of many that haunted the halls of this place they called home.
He rubbed at his jaw, remembering a time when things had been different.
They had met during their final semester of college and started dating not long after graduation. Veronica was a newly minted lawyer ready to make her mark in the legal profession, and Josh, the technical genius prepared to take the engineering world by storm. The attraction between them had been instant and fiery, leading to the two of them finding themselves in bed together after their first date, and on every subsequent one after that for several months. They had been inseparable in those days, and Josh had the teeth marks to prove it.
Their whirlwind courtship had quickly turned into a marriage, and at first, it seemed as if the storybook romance would continue unabated. They had been in lockstep back in those days about everything.
The best place to buy a house.
The right investments to make for their future.
The type of dog to get to protect them and their property.
Even on the subject of when to start a family, which by both their reckoning would be when they had their careers well established and some money in the bank.
The years had passed, and from time to time, Josh would mention the empty guest room. The one they had agreed would make a perfect nursery.
Veronica was patient at first.
"Our time will come, Sweetie. First, I want to make Associate and get out of the cube farm."
Josh hadn't made waves. They were young yet. There was no rush...
A few more years, and again, Veronica demurred.
"I have a shot at Senior Associate if I can just keep my head in the game," she said with a laugh.
Josh would sigh and keep his mouth shut, thinking they were only in their early thirties there was time enough.
The thing was that every year after that Veronica always seemed to move the bar. Then it was Junior Partner, Senior Partner...A slew of important sounding titles, but not the one that Josh wanted to see bestowed upon his blushing bride.
The one that he would genuinely have been proud to call her was the mother of his child.
Time has a way of getting away from you, and it had run from Josh and Veronica Raskin like a horse from a burning barn. One day he looked up and realized he was about to turn forty years old with a guest room that was still just a guest room.
That was when things had changed.
The fighting had started over little things as it often does. The typical elements that married couples resent each other for, leaving up the toilet seat, forgetting to turn off the coffee pot, playing your crappy Bon Jovi albums too loud at one in the morning. All trivial, and hiding the real reason you're shouting at each other over who left the cap off the toothpaste for the hundredth time.
"You should have just said you didn't want children from the beginning!" yelled Josh one night after way too many shots at Hammers Sports Bar.
"Oh! So it's all my fault! I was building something, Josh. Something important to me!"
"I thought what was important was what we were building together!" he shouted back.
"So...What...Because I didn't pump out some babies for you all of a sudden, our life is shit! If it meant that much to you, why didn't you say something sooner?"
"Would it have made a difference? Would you have slowed your climb up the legal ladder if I had asked you?"
A long silence had followed that question. It was clear Veronica didn't want to answer, perhaps because she didn't know what the answer would have been, or just as likely because she knew the truth would hurt Josh too much.
They had stopped talking for a time after that night.
Slowly, they reconciled. There had been lots of couples therapy and more than a few nights spent sleeping on the couch, but in the end, they had decided to go on together. A brief discussion about the possibility of adoption had come up, but Veronica had postponed deciding until after the partners voted on bonuses for that year. It didn't surprise Josh in the least that the idea was never revisited.
He had considered walking out a few times, but somehow, call it relationship inertia if you like, he was never able to muster the strength to leave.
This was how he found himself facing his fiftieth birthday in a lovely, expensive house with a BMW in the garage, and a pool in the backyard, but not the thing he truly coveted.
