It was the fall of 1997 and I was on my own for the first time since I was 20. I had just taken my 18 year old daughter Holly to college and spent the day visiting the campus with her.
I had lobbied hard for Holly to go to school in Seattle but she chose Central since it offered a veterinary science program that would accept her. Prior to this she had never been away from me for more than a weekend. We were very close and I already missed her terribly. People would sometimes think we were sisters when we were out together. I felt as though part of me was ripped away as I drove out of Ellensburg on the way back to Seattle. I drove to the sound of the radio under the clear evening sky as the sun was setting. Soon I would need to fill the gas tank so I stopped at the next station. As I handed the attendant some money for gas I noticed he was staring at my chest and pulled my windbreaker together.
Men had not interested me a great deal while Holly was growing up. I hadn't had a serious boyfriend since Holly's father and made a practice of not bringing my lovers home with me.
A wave of excitement spread through me as I strode toward my car, could it be that I enjoyed that man staring at me?
I removed my windbreaker, settled into the driver's seat and took out my hair clip so that my long brunette hair fell down around my face. I checked my eyeliner and applied some lip gloss, admiring my look in the mirror. I turned the key, enjoying the feeling of power as I sped away from the gas station and accelerated onto the highway again.
Arriving home around 10:00 I sensed the emptiness of the house and began missing Holly again more than ever. It was Saturday night so I decided to go out for drinks to take the edge off.
Looking through the closet I chose a blue long sleeve peasant blouse and paired it with my new Levi jeans and black boots. Selecting a bra with thin stretchy cups completed the look. I wore this outfit to work on casual Friday once and men followed me around like puppy dogs.
The Brooklight is a neighborhood bar, two blocks from my apartment. The drinks are strong and the bartenders are friendly. I walked in and sat at the far end of the bar where I could view the pool table. Some good players come in there and I like to hone my skills with a game now and then. Tonight the chalkboard was full of waiting players so I figured on being a spectator.
My favorite bartender Julie came over and I ordered a White Russian. My eyes followed her as she walked down the bar and reached for the Kahlua bottle. Her freckled arms were toned which complimented her curvy frame. We were the same size and shared the same taste in clothing. As she returned with the drink she spoke in a lowered voice. "Hey Michelle some really good stuff came in, are you looking?"
"Sounds great, I'll take a quarter. I have to run home for the cash though."
"I have a break in half an hour. We can go to your place and do it there if you want. I need a bong hit anyway." She laughed and flipped her thick red hair.
"Sure, thanks Julie."
I turned back to the pool game. A young couple was casually knocking the balls around, scratching every other shot.
I made my way to the jukebox and scrolled the menu. I put 5 dollars in and made my selections. Two guys were looking me over making comments to each other. Again I felt a sensation of excitement flowing through me head to toe. The pulsating beat of the music made me feel randy. I knew my nipples were erect and showing through the thin fabric of my clothing.
As I walked back to my place at the bar I smiled at one of the guys who were looking my way. He couldn't have been over 25 which is quite a compliment to a woman of 40. I took a look back over my shoulder and he was still looking at me. He had long dark wavy hair with a clean shaven angelic face. We smiled at one another and I turned away. "He's nice," I thought. "Too bad he is with his buddy."
"Okay I'm on my break. I can get you the stuff now if you want."
"Great Julie, let's go."
As Julie and I walked out the door I looked in a mirror and saw the young man watching me intently from his seat on the other side of the room. I pretended not to notice and walked confidently onto the sidewalk toward my apartment with Julie by my side.
We arrived and sat at the kitchen table as Julie retrieved a baggie of weed from the inside pocket of her black suede blazer. I could smell the skunky aroma when she opened the baggie and it made me salivate. I produced my blue plastic bong and handed it to Julie who stuffed the bowl and took a long slow hit. I've never seen anyone with such a ravenous appetite for marijuana as Julie. I heard the bowl clear out as Julie let off the thumb hole and took the heavenly intoxicant into her lungs. She smiled through glassy eyes as she slid the bong across the table to me. I put eighty dollars next to her purse and held the baggie to my nose.
