So far, Melanie and I have not been anywhere in public, but we both know that the verbal comments and the side eyes will come. She's 61 (LOL 42 because I valve my life) and I'm 23 and the world can be a cruel place sometimes. But that's next week's problem. Right now, today, we have a common neighbor's wedding reception to attend and to hopefully keep everyone in dark, at least for now. And by now, I mean right now because we just finished dinner and the time to mingle and dance is upon us.
The first thing I'm going to admit is "my bad" for daring her to forget to wear her undies tonight. Love handle hips or not, Melanie looked mighty fine in that dress and every guess that the dirty old men were making leaned heavily towards the "no panties or bra" guesses because there not one single line anywhere. LOL, except for the line of horny old men who wanted to "accidentally" grope her.
And look at her, will you? The center of attention of the more mature ladies, a smile as big as can be and her boobs, well, look at them, I mean, they're right there. And because I dared her to wear such naughty non underwear, well, I couldn't say anything, for now. Besides, there is a saying somewhere that says something about happy girlfriend, happy later at home or something like that.
And then I dialed up EMS for Mr. Andrews because he couldn't "handle all that" and then I leaned against the bar and kept my eye out on things. And like we were just two strangers in the night, she swooped by the bar to get a drink and stood next to me while the bartender forgot what he was doing because her boobs were all that.
"Remember sweetie, you said I should go commando tonight."
"Have your fun Melanie, but I can pretty much guarantee that your dress will get wreck tonight."
"Like "you're going to tear this shit up" or whatever the kids say?"
"Teasing will get you everywhere tonight babe. Now go, your dirty old man crowd is starting to breath again. Hallway in 30 or so?"
"Oh, that depends on all of those men over there. By the way, they are trying very hard to steal me away from my mystery boyfriend."
"Do I need to be worried? I mean, Terry Steins is one rich dude."
"Oh no, I found my man, besides I've always heard that he shops on both sides of the street and I want my man to shop at Melanie's and only at Melanie's. And by the way, I already regret telling you hold off on that marriage proposal, but for now, may I go, honey?"
"Of course, but let it known that if you have nine suitors hanging around you, then there better nine boners or there will be a spanking in your immediate future."
"Well, eight boners, right? I mean, I've heard that Mr. Williams has that ED thing going on, so cut me some slack?"
"Slack approved for the wedding. There will be no slack in the chains tomorrow night."
"Fine, but can I please have 45 minutes? I'm having fun and all this attention is amazing. I promise the best blow job after that."
"Sloppy and wet?"
"I'll wreck this dress myself with my saliva. But just to be clear, honey, that fantasy of yours where I drool my spit into your mouth when I'm on top is a little weird for me, so can we hold off on that for a while too? Like you've been the best boyfriend ever and you stayed out of my back door, honey?"
"45 minutes and no more, honey pot."
"And not too much in the hallway tonight, honey. I want you to take me home and do me in the backyard. No, wait, do me in the front yard and I promise I to look directly into Mrs. Baldwin's night vision cameras as I smile and drool. Just for you honey."
