"It's the pump. I can pick one up, and replace it tomorrow," I said, wiping my hands,
"Oh great! The thing's practically brand new! What's this gonna cast me?" he glared.
"Actually, it's covered by your warrantee, sir," wondering why he was so upset. There are more important things in life than a washing machine! I mean, what would he do in a real crisis?
"It better be! And do I get compensated for the two days without a washer? No! I didn't think so!"
I slid the washer back in place in the two-car garage, and wondered why people got themselves worked up over things we can't control? This guy has a beautiful house, garage with full workshop-grade tools, two late-model cars in the driveway, and he was hyper-ventilating over a machine worth a couple hundred bucks!
I wanted to tell him to chill, but I needed this job, and my boss was on my case already. "I can be here at 8:30 and it should be done by 10, sir."
"Honey! Where is she? Patti? He can be back tomorrow!"
The door form the main house opened, and out stepped his wife, 45, killer-blonde, with a body from Penthouse. I could not picture this woman washing her own clothes! She had Daisy-Dukes, cut-off jeans, bare feet, plaid men's shirt, tied at the waist. And even had her hair in pigtails, just like Ellie May Clampett, all grown up!
She looked from him to me, smiling. "Tomorrow's fine, Donald! I ain't goin' no place!"
There was a honk of a horn, and a Town Car pulled up by the open garage doors.
"There's the airport pickup." Donald yelled to the driver, Those two bags! I'll be right out!"
He turned to Patti. "I gotta go, baby. See you on friday." She gave him her cheek and he smooched it. To me, he was all business. "Make sure it's fixed, or I'm writing the company!"
I nodded, "Yes, sir," and let it go, wishing I could give him a few lessons on how to speak to people.
He was pulling out when Patti said, "I'm real sorry bout that. He gets real upset about things and stuff."
She seemed nice, so I allowed myself to comment, "He's gonna wind up with an ulcer, if he keeps it up."
"You know, he has these acid attacks all the time. I said 'Honey, your'e gonna have a heart attack,' but, you know, you're probably right! I bet he has the makings of an ulcer!"
I smiled. She even talked like a hillbilly. "Well, my first call is 8:30, if that's not too earlt for you."
"Lord, no, I'm up at dawn, doing laps or running. I like to get an early jump, before the heat of the day."
"Fine, I'll pick up the pump and come back tomorrow."
"Okay, honey, if I'm not here, I'll leave the garage unlocked, okay? Bye... (she looked at my uniform shirt) bye, Ernie!"
"It's actually Jake. I think they only hired me because I was the same size as Ernie, whoever he was!"
She had a contagious laugh. "I knew you weren't no Ernie. Ernie's are always funny-looking and a litle dim. You don't strike me as dim!"
"Thanks, I think! See you tomorrow!"
I thought about her the rest of the day. Though 20 years older than me, she sure was attractive, not just with her down-home sex-appeal. To be in that shape, she really must have worked hard.
Everything reeked of money. The Mercedes sedan, and Lexus SUV, the shiny new tools, the finely trimmmed lawn. It seemed odd they would do their own laundry, but maybe Patti was a home-maker at heart. She and Donald were a mismatch to me, but I've seen that many times before.
I arrived at exactly 8:30, and only the Mercedes was there. When I got no answer at the door, I tried the garage, and true to her word, it was open. I set about the task, being careful not to scratch or mar anything that would give Donald a reason to squalk.
A short time later, I heard the SUV pull in. She hopped out, came flying by me dressed in leotards which showed off every curve, and there were excellent curves! Her hair was wet with sweat, pulled back in a red elastic headband.
"Hi, Jake! Sorry I'm late! The gym was packed today! Every middle-aged woman in the county must have been there! Like Hormone Hell! How do you like your coffee?"
