I have heard it said that a group of girls on a hen week are far worse than a gang of blokes on a stag trip. And judging by what some of our party got up to during our week there I could see they had a valid point.
Albufeira was great and I could see why Matt had such a good time there. But I was ready to come home by the time the week was up. I must be getting old because I didn't feel like partying all day AND all night anymore. Married life had changed me, or so I was told as I was ribbed mercilessly by some of our group when one night I told them I was too tired to go out and just wanted my bed.
On our return Matt picked us up from the airport. It was another really late flight, or really early depending on your point of view. He looked absolutely knackered, which I put down to the lateness of the hour. Luckily he would have the weekend to recover although I was feeling extremely horny. I'd not had sex for a week. Well maybe that's not quite true. My problem was, did I confess my little lapse of fidelity to Matt?
I finally confessed all after we'd had a good nights sleep and then had mind blowing sex the following morning that had lasted a good hour or more. We were cuddling together, arm in arm when Matt got around to asking THAT question.
"So ... did you have a good time? Get up to anything? Anything you want to tell me?"
He knows me so well. I could feel myself getting hotter. I was sure I was blushing bright red.
"Come on Lauren, you can tell me. Something happened didn't it? I promise I won't be mad. Besides, I have something to tell you anyway."
"What?" I said.
"You first," he replied with a smile. We both sat up and turned to face one another, sitting cross legged on the bed.
"Okay. It was our next to last full day and the bride to be had control of the days events. So we hit the local beach, went paragliding, swimming and of course sunbathed. Then we hit the beach bar. It was somewhere we'd been before so the guys behind the bar already knew us.
"I was okay when I was drinking Sagres but then Sadie, decided we should go onto cocktails. Now you know I'm not keen to mix lager and spirits but she got the guy behind the bar to mix me up some gin based drinks."
I could see Matt grimace as I revealed this nugget of information. Gin makes me incredibly horny.
"Anyway, you know how it is. We carried on drinking and the time passed and we had a few more drinks and then Sadie wanted to go back sunbathing again. So we all trooped off to find the sun loungers. I went to the loo first so by the time I got there every sun lounger had been taken. So I sat down on my beach towel on the sand, which was really uncomfortable and incredibly hot.
I put up with the discomfort for about five minutes before I said I couldn't sit like that any longer. So Sadie told me to go get another sun lounger. The problem was, the place nearest to us that hired them out was closed for some reason. I went to the bar to ask if there was another one to be told, yes but it was some distance away. I almost didn't go. 'What am I going to say to the man when I get there' I said. Sadie started laughing. 'Just ask him for a sun lounger' she said. So I said, 'what if he doesn't speak English?' She said they all do. 'But what if he doesn't?' I guess I was panicking for no reason. Sadie laughed again and then said, 'just say this to him.
Se você me der uma espreguiçadeira você pode me foder na bunda'
."
"I didn't know Sadie knew Portuguese?" Matt said, interrupting me.
"No, neither did I. But I think she said her parents have a place somewhere in Portugal and she's gone there a lot over the years so she must have picked the lingo up. Anyway she had to tell me the phrase a few times before I got the hang of it. Then off I went. It was actually a long way away from where we were sitting. I seemed to be walking for ages but as I went I kept mumbling the words over and over to myself.
'Se você me der uma espreguiçadeira você pode me foder na bunda'
.
"Anyway when I got to the place I realised it was more of a small warehouse just off the beach although they did have a hut in front of it on the sand. But I noticed there were no sun loungers outside, just a couple of beach umbrellas laying on the sand. I wasn't sure if this was the right place but as I approached the hut a man came out to greet me. He smiled when he saw me and I realised that I was only wearing my bikini. I'd left my beach sarong behind. He was very scruffy looking and had about a weeks worth of stubble on his face. His clothes were dirty too. I suddenly felt naked as he ran his eyes over my body."
"Well you were naked ... almost. Your bikini couldn't exactly be classed as am item of clothing, especially the bottoms," Matt said before he paused briefly. He was right of course. When you've got an arse the size and shape mine is, small bikini briefs don't cover an awful lot of flesh.
"Were you turned on?" he then asked with a slight crack in his voice. My god ... was my story getting to him? I glanced down and saw his cock was now semi erect. And visibly growing by the second.
"Not really ... maybe. I don't know. Anyway I was slightly unsettled by the way he was leering at me so instead of asking if he spoke English I just blurted out the phrase Sadie had taught me.
'Se você me der uma espreguiçadeira você pode me foder na bunda'
.
"The man looked at me strangely. I thought he hadn't understood me so I said it again.
'Se você me der uma espreguiçadeira você pode me foder na bunda'
.
"
'Sim'
, he replied, with a broad grin. I know 'Sim' means yes, so I smiled at him but then he grabbed hold of my hand and walked me off the beach and into the warehouse. I was okay with this, in fact I was feeling quite smug with myself thinking that I had conversed with a native and he understood me. Who says we Brits are lazy about speaking other languages.
"I wasn't so certain though when he took me into a back office, locked the door and lowered the blinds. 'What are you doing' I asked him. He just grinned back at me and dropped his trousers."
"Was he big?" Matt asked, his breathing now quite raspy.
"Oh yes, well mainly it was fat rather than long. But it sure was erect."