Chapter 1: She Sucks
I spend most of my time at the computer writing and to relax I'm a hobby gunsmith. As such, I spend a lot of time in my garage tinkering with different weapons. One afternoon I was working on a revolver that really resisted my attempts to reassemble it and I was using some pretty colorful language. I had just muttered, "Fuck it," and tossed the revolver down on the bench when I heard a definitely female cough.
Looking around I could see a distinctly female form outlined in the doorway. "Hi," she said, walking forward, "I hope I didn't come at a bad time."
"Uh, excuse me, I didn't know anyone was around."
She chuckled and said, "Oh, that's all right, I hear that word all the time. Even use it myself frequently." She stuck out her hand and said, "Hi, I'm Luanne."
I recognized her immediately because she lives two houses down from me and I had noticed her many times over the past several years. She had a fantastic figure and regularly washed her car and cut her grass wearing shorts and a halter top. Her breasts were nicely rounded and didn't jiggle at all nor did her ass. Some years ago I noticed her gaining weight and then protruding quite nicely in the front. Because she was pregnant I guessed her age to be in the thirties, but didn't really know.
As we shook hands I said, "Yes, I know. Well, I didn't know your name, but I've noticed you a few times."
She chuckled and pointed at my beer. "You got another of those?"
I said, "Sure, you want to come in or stay out here?"
"I'll come inside. It's a bit hot out here."
I led her into the kitchen, pulled out another beer, opened it, and handed it to her. "Thanks," she said, wiping the cold can across her forehead. Then she took a big swallow and said, "Whew, that tasted good. I can't drink at home and I miss it occasionally."
"Why can't you drink at home?"
She took another sip and then said, "Well, three kids around the house, plus I take care of my dad and uncle. You met them that time you helped with the mailbox."
"So, what's the big deal. Kids won't even notice if you don't make a big deal about it."
"It's my uncle, he likes his alcohol a bit too much and if I have any in the house he'll drink it."
"Ah," I said as I picked up my cigarettes, "I can understand that problem."
"Ooh, me too?" she said as she pointed at the pack.
I handed her a cigarette, lit it for her, and said, "Wow, my kind of girl. Smokes, drinks – what else do you do that I'd like?"
She chuckled a bit and moved over a little closer. "That kinda brings me around to why I came down here today," she said, "I have a problem that I'm hoping you can help me with. My boyfriend, Pete, and I get it on about once a week."
I laughed outright and said, "Once a week? Hell, if I were with you, you'd be getting it every single night. I can't imagine a body like yours not needing it more often."
She came over to me and put her hand on my shoulder and ran it down my arm. "Why thank you," she said, "That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a while." She leaned up to kiss me lightly on the cheek and added, "It also makes it easier for me to ask that favor."
Okay, this is getting weird, her stroking my arm, the kiss, her talking about her sex life after we just met. What's up? "So," she went on, "I take it you're fairly sexual?"
"Uh, yes, I suppose you'd say that."
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Nothing regular. I'm a sorta booty call for a young lady, but it's just for sex."
"And if she's not around, do you take care of yourself?"
"Of course."
"How often?"
"Every day."
She raised her eyebrows and asked, "Every day?"