Life in the Care Home had turned out to be much better than being old and home alone. At the moment I was still involved with Paula the cleaner and our TT meetings, TT was loving on Tuesdays and Thursdays (hence - T. T.). I was a happy chap.
Plus my kids had sold my house for over a million pounds. They had got me a very good sum for the house which I had worked all my life to purchase and they grew up in. So I paid off both their mortgages on their own homes to say thank you and gifted them £10 grand each to go on a lovely holiday with their families. Amazingly I still had three quarters of a million pounds sitting in my bank account. I left it there and pretty much forgot about it.
The most senior member of staff in Kerridge Care Home was Matron Lynn Coldwhistle. She led the Senior Nurses and the Management team. The inhabitants of Kerridge Care Home never saw much of the management team or of the Matron Mrs Coldwhistle, who were happy being aloof in their ivory tower of power.
Mrs Coldwhistle was a nurse reminiscent of the chief female chief nurse in the movie "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, that had Jack Nicholson in it." Mrs Coldwhistle was gorgeous, tall, blonde, good looking but very strict. She had no sense of humour and a stickler to authority. She was in her mid to late 30s and married.
Mrs Coldwhistle was good looking and wore a spotless white uniform. She drove a BMW, had owned all the latest tech products; Apple iPhone, mp3 music player, Apple watch and Canon massive telephoto zoom camera with more pixels than Chinese people in a Chinese phone book called "Lee."
When I spoke to the Care staff, they said she was wealthy, her husband had a well paid job, her kids were at university, she lived in a large detached house on the edge of town surrounded by countryside and empty fields. She, her husband and family went on the most exotic holidays each year, to Hawaii, Bali and the Seychelles No package holiday trips to Spain or Greece for them.
Mrs Coldwhistle came to see me the next day. "Ahhem!" she said. "Its come to my attention that female staff are spending excessive time with you Mr. Norman." She looked at me with a stern look on her poker face.
"This is not acceptable, you may be punished if this type of thing continues!" She said. "There are rumour from residents that a lot of noise comes through the walls of your room."
"Oh dear" I thought to myself. "Old Warren Warburton next door in his wheelchair must have better hearing than I thought." Many of the women in the home referred to his "wee chair" as it smelt of piss quite often. Unfortunate guy. But why did he drop me in the "shizer housen" I never did anything bad to him.
I snapped out of my day dreaming as Mrs Coldwhistle stood up in her buttoned to the top of her neck white nurse uniform. She poked me in the shoulder as she said "If I catch you doing naughty things with staff members you are out of here? Did you hear me? Out on your arse?" then she got worked up and angry "having sex is not allowed, and if any witness comes forward and says that you are the man having sex with staff then, then , then..."
Mrs Coldwhistle was lost for words. She had steam coming out of her head, her face was purple was the blood pressure her anger generated. She slammed my room door as she stormed out. "Phew, she got really angry then!" I said to myself. "What a Cow! A pretty cow, with a nice arse, but still a Cow!"
Meanwhile my cleaner and current love, Paula had bad news. She guided me out of the home's front entrance. We went outside in the grounds and out of sight of the Care Home. Then she spoke.
"I know its not Tuesday or Thursday but I need a bit of Herbert." She positioned me against a tree and knelt down in front of me.
Herbert was out of my chinos immediately as Paula softly munched on him. His helmet started to pop out of his foreskin "Oh!" she groaned. "You are so big Herbert you don't have a foreskin it must be a five or sixskin." then continued. "This is the last time Herbert!" as she put a big lipstick kiss around his base.
Once he was good and hard Paula sat me down; my naked arse was on the grass, my back on the tree. Herbert was pointing directly up at the tree's branches which the sun shone through as the summer day passed the yard arm. Apparently her husband had returned home. He was made redundant, he had not found a new oil field for six months, so his company let him go. His loss of usefulness was passed on to Herbert who was also made redundant in my trousers. Paula, his biggest fan was now going to be at home with her husband. Herbert was not to pop out to pleasure anyone for quite a while it seemed.
Rather than be sad I thought back to the lovely women I had already enjoyed; Mel, Dot and Paula so far. "That was very good going!" I said to myself and then sat down to look at the TV. I enjoyed watching Wobbly Hilloughby on morning TV but not the dope; the grey haired young man colleague of hers. Who is that young dope with grey hair, what an oddball. But I really like Wobbly, so I put up with grey balls, as I called him. Then I drifted off to sleep with a morning glory for Wobbly in my pants.
Nadia my gorgeous foreign carer woke me up with a bowl of soup and a ham sandwich for lunch. She looked fantastic as always in her robes, but she was not her usual arrogant anti-sexual self. In fact she was very sad. I asked her to sit on my couch and I sat next to her.
"Can you tell me what is going on?" I said. She did not want to tell me. But eventually after ten minutes of encouragement and positive chatting she opened up.
She said sadly "My husband Yousef has been arrested. I am so disappointed."
Nadia with her big brown eyes and gorgeous light brown skin colouring said as she wept.
Tears fell down her face. So I closed up to her and put my arm around her.
"Don't worry I am sure he has not done anything wrong." I said
"My family panicked that he may have been talked into becoming and Arab fundamentalist or terrorist of some sort. But no, that's not why he has been locked up."
"Oh dear!" I said "But a least it is not that terror issue that has caused this."
"What has he done?" I said as I stroked her hair with one hand and gently squeezed her shoulder blade to ease some of her tension with the other.
