Caren hated the walls around her. Her and Steve's house. She was still living there since he had moved out. Though it indeed was a very nice house, and she had been very much involved in decorating the majority of it, but that was just it, it was their old house. It was totally infested with the memories of their life together.
Their driveway where their son Brian had learned to ride his first bike, their garden with their patio where they had had all their garden parties or spent warm summer evenings. It was their kitchen, their living room, their bedroom, everything theirs, theirs, theirs.
There was no "them" anymore, it was her, and there was him.
It had taken her a good couple of weeks before she even wanted to sleep in "their" bedroom after he had moved out.
Their bed.
The ghost of him beside her when she woke up at night, missing his comforting arms around her. His fumbling hands, finding their way under her nightgown, his bulge pressing against her as he was spooning behind her. She remembered how it used to make her horny, and how much she were missing their spontaneous waking-up-at-middle-of-the-night sex.
Even thinking about it made her horny, and she fought the urge to start touching herself. She forced herself to stop thinking about him. She hated that she still loved him.
To hell with him, to hell with all men, fuck them all.
She bursted out in laughter.
Yeah, that was probably what she should do. Fuck each and every man she got her hands on. She had been faithful to Steve all these years, except for that incident just before they decided to part ways. Did it even count?
Steve had been cheating on her repeatedly, and she had been hurt so many times she didn't even remember. And just once over all those years, a colleague from work gave her comfort when her guard was down, as she had just found out about yet another of Steve's affairs.
It only happened once, but that was what made her take the step. She couldn't handle it anymore. She didn't want to live in a relationship based on mutual lies and deceit, it was bad enough that Steve couldn't keep himself on her side of the fence, but the thought of the two of them going behind each other's backs...
This was for the best, she kept convincing herself.
She couldn't stand staying in this house, she needed some fresh air.
She needed a drink.
Caren put on a nice, but not too fancy dress, fixed her make up and went out. She didn't want to go to any of the places where she and Steve used to go.
She called herself a cab and went downtown.
The cab dropped her off in an area with a lot of people, strolling, having their dinners, calling for taxis, getting worked up for partying, in many ways a regular friday evening, but her friday evenings lately, or rather the last couple of years, like twenty, had been rather quiet, at home, family time, or dinners at home with friends, other couples.
That had all changed.
She went into a restaurant that seemed cozy and quiet enough to have a glass of wine by herself without being bothered, perhaps even have a bite of food.
The lighting was soft, the music quite soothing, and at a first appearance she liked the place. She sat herself down after being shown to a table. She ordered a glass of white wine and sent a text to her friend Sophie, who she hadn't seen in a while, thinking she could really use her company.
The reply didn't wait long.
"My girl, what's up?"
"Drinking wine, by myself." She added a sad smiley. She wasn't really that sad, in fact she was pretty much at peace with things at the moment.
"Are you at home?"
"No, I'm at the... " She hadn't even checked the name of the place and tried to look for a clue. She sent a picture of the menu.
"Oh you're downtown, I think I know the place, I'm nearby. Can I pop by for a quickie?"
Sophie ended the message with a wink.
"I'd love that." Caren replied with a heart symbol at the end.
Caren was excited about soon seeing her friend again, and she tasted her wine. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all, being able to do whatever she felt like, whenever she felt like it.
She gazed around the restaurant. A young couple was having dinner by the window, young love, she remembered that. A couple of guys were hanging by the bar, she had never been the type hanging at the bar. She obviously couldn't see the people behind her, but she could tell there were some. At the table next to her, there was a man, sitting by himself with a beer. Alone, just like herself, he seemed to be about her own age.
She immediately had her defenses up, she didn't want any attention, certainly not from a stranger trying to pick her up with only one thing in mind. However, the man didn't show any signs of bothering her. He picked up his phone and kept his voice down as he was talking. She couldn't help trying to listen in on his chat, but could only make out a couple of words, something about school, and picking "them" up on sunday.
Caren assumed he was divorced too, and her red flags kept waving. But she had to admit, he was rather handsome, and the way he didn't seem to make any moves on her, made him kind of mysterious, and it made her at least a tad curious.
Perhaps it was as simple as her, not being as desirable as she had hoped, which in a way was a bit of a disappointment. She couldn't help but make a quick peek in his direction every now and then.
When he suddenly looked up, their eyes met. Caren froze, she was busted, caught in the act, now he knew that she had been watching him.
It had been all innocent, but yet embarrassing, and... somewhat electric.
When Caren had failed to look away for a couple of seconds, the man eventually raised his glass, politely cheering her, and she answered him with her own glass.
The door almost bursts up as Sophie comes in. She wasn't the quiet type.
"My girl!" Sophie called out and came right at her with open arms
"Sophie!" They hugged, and Caren was truly happy to see her.
"It's been so long. What have you been up to?" Sophie asked her.
"You know, the usual."
"How are you?" Sophie kept asking.
"I'm fine." Caren replied as honestly as she could.
"I have to ask... you and Steve?" Sophie knew about their divorce, and that had taken forever.
"Signed today." Caren thought it felt weird saying it out loud like that.
Sophie reached for Caren's hand and looked at her.
"Are you good?"
"Yeah, I'm ok. It's good to see you Sophie." Caren knew she couldn't hide how she felt from her, as if she could read her like an open book. But Sophie also had a very comforting effect on her.
"Well, look at you. All free and available." Sophie gazed thoroughly along Carens entire figure.
"Watch out, I might snatch you before anyone else does." She laughed, and Caren fell in on her contagious laughter.
"That doesn't sound all that bad actually. How is Cynthia?" Caren asked, smiling. Sophie very well knew that Caren wasn't into women the same way she was.
