Standing in front of the dresser naked I rummaged through the underwear drawer looking for what I thought was provocative and sexy, I was at the same time chastising myself with second thoughts. My mind was whirling. 'What the hell are you thinking Lou?' I asked myself. 'Pull yer head outa year ass Louise, your 60, he's 28, no way in hell he's gonna want yer worn out body, he says he does but what's gonna happen when he sees the stretch marks and wrinkled skin? God knows you've wanted someone to touch you since Chuck died, but this is ridiculous, snap out of it girl.'
I continued to scold myself, 'No one has looked at, much less touched your cooter since he died, that is other than you and the crotch doc, and all you've done is wash. With Chucks meds he couldn't get it up over the last four years, but that tongue, the times he sent me into orbit with that tongue. Will that tight old thing between my legs even be able to take a dick any longer? Damn, what should I do? I want to go to bed with Rollie, at the same time I'm scared shitless.'
Pulling the drawer out all the way my eyes met with what I thought might still be there, a peach colored lace bra that didn't do anything but support, nothing was hidden. Digging a bit further I found them, the matching lace stretch panties Chuck loved so much, he would literally drool like a dog staring at the tiny graying jungle of hair beneath them. I say tiny because I never had much to start with, it was rather narrow and sparse, he would tell me there was just enough to tickle his nose. God how I missed that man, why did he have to leave me so early in life?
Sitting on the bed I slid the silk panties up my legs, I loved the feel of them on my bare skin, they'd been a Valentine present from Chuck several years ago. He'd gone all out and ordered them from Paris, oh so soft and elegant. Standing I slid them as close to my hips as they'd go, bikini panties were never my thing and he liked hip huggers so that's what I wore. These however barely covered my mons and pubic hair, it might take a few minutes to adjust and stop trying to pull them up further, I could feel them being pulled tight against the vulva, splitting my labia. With them properly in place and the legs adjusted so they weren't pulling the few hairs along the labia I slid my hands over my ass.
It wasn't tight any longer, it didn't sag and wasn't flabby, but it was no young woman's butt either. The stretch marks from pregnancies ages ago were still present, I dismissed the thought, if he was more interested in my ass than my cooter he was going to be sorely disappointed. Moving my hands around to the front I slid them along the V of the panties, Chuck always did that from behind and I always loved it. His had been the only hands and cock that ever touched me, we started going steady in our freshman year of high school and never thought of being with anyone else.
I wondered, would that no longer be true after tonight? Was I ready to allow this much younger man to carry on with his seductive ways until he had me naked, legs spread, and moaning to go deeper? Would it be good enough that I would be willing to have my chest on the mattress and my ass in the air while he pounded me into ecstasy? How I wished I was still young enough to feel warm creaminess invade and lubricate my labia as it did before, the warmness that flowed throughout my abdomen, the sticky feeling holding my panties tight to my crotch as cream oozed from my pussy.
Alas, that would be no more, it went away shortly after menopause, or as Chuck referred to it as, mentalpause, and at times he was right. I still had the ability to become aroused and sufficiently wet inside for a rousing good screwing, but what was typically needed was a bit of help on the outside before penetration. Preferably his tongue, but a dab of KY did the trick as well. Thoughts of hubby and I making love brought me back to the present, was I actually contemplating a night of unbridled sex with
Rollie from the financial department? I answered my own question, you bet your sweet ass I was.
Hooking the bra at the front and spinning it around I lifted the thin flimsy cups into place, the soft lace felt good on my aged 34B's, I had never been large, not even when I nursed the kids. Chuck never complained or compared me to others, he would smile, cup my breasts gently and tell me how much he loved my "tits" as he called them. As far as I was concerned they were his, in my mind he could call them anything he wanted as long as he didn't ignore them.
Sliding my arms through the straps I took the liberty to cup them, as though I were weighing them, they were no longer tight and what is now referred to as "perky", at the same time the nipples still pointed outward, they didn't lay flat on my chest pointing down. They were the breasts of a sixty year old woman who'd bore and nursed three children, a bit saggy and heavy on the bottom, but still sensitive to touch and stimulation.
I always responded eagerly to Chucks lips sucking a nipple as deep as possible without hurting me, he was a tit man through and through and I made sure he had access to them anytime he wanted as long as no one was watching. Many a night he stood behind as I cooked or washed dishes with his hands fondling my breasts, he always seemed to manage a way to get his hands under my blouse and bra without the kids ever noticing. Damn how I missed that, along with the hardness of his dick pushing against my ass, I would make sure I moved in a fashion that kept him hard as steel. It was our little foreplay game.
Looking in the mirror I pinched the nipples softly, they reacted immediately, as I hoped they would. If all went as I planned over the next three or four hours he'd be sucking them while his hand found i's way between my legs. Rolling the stay up black fishnet stockings in place I moved to the vanity, putting on makeup I thought about how all of this started, this young man whom I was about to let seduce and have his way with me. If he asked or made moves toward it, I was going to bed with him determined to get as many climaxes out of his young body as possible in one night.
Chuck and I worked for a local grocery store chain that had begun with the grandfather right after the war, then carried on by the son and was now being run by a son and daughter. In all they owned and operated 16 stores within a twenty mile radius, several of the big conglomerates had moved in through the years and moved back out almost as fast. People had been shopping at Roberts Grocery stores for decades and were fiercely loyal. Chuck had been working for them about ten years when I started, he was in charge of warehouse receiving and distribution.
I had been hired on as clerical to begin with but became the personal assistant of Sheila (the daughter) after she her brother took over. With the youngest in school at that time my schedule worked out well, Sheila being a mom of four knew exactly what my needs were and made sure I could work around household needs. Rollie had been hired almost a year to the day before the love of my life departed for that "big warehouse in the sky" as he called it. He was in his early twenties, dapper, handsome and very much a chick magnet.
What surprised me the most about him was his ease of being a part of who and what I was. He didn't seem to date much, at first I wondered if women weren't his thing, he soon eliminated that thought when I saw him with a young thing from purchasing at the cinema. They weren't all over each other, but they weren't being very modest either. It was as if he befriended me without my seeking his friendship, he never flirted or tried coming onto me, I saw myself akin to a mother figure in his life, he was as comfortable with Chuck sitting next to me at lunch as he was when Chuck wasn't.
To put it plainly, we got along great without any sexual tension between us. Chuck's illness came on fast and took him just as fast, it hadn't been a year between diagnosis and death. During that trial of life Rollie was always there, always encouraging me, always asking if he could help Chuck and me in some way. There was no touching of the hands or sly sideways glances, no hushed conversations, he was someone I could lean on for moral support and I did. Even my three super suspicious daughters found him to be pleasant and not forward in any fashion.
Three nights before he slipped into a sleep he never came out of I was at his side in the hospice facility, we were talking, holding hands, reminiscing. Tears welled in his eyes as he looked at me.
"I wish I was strong enough to make love with you one last time. I'm sorry Lou, this isn't the way we planned things is it? Tell me I'm a goof man Lou, tell me I was a good lover."
When the flood of tears subsided I squeezed his hand tight and smiled a s I talked.