Longing for Love

Jackie arrived at her house and retired to her bedroom. She threw her keys on the night stand before taking a few deep breaths. She wondered how she should spend the rest of her evening and night. She knew her husband was already asleep in his bedroom, passed out drunk. She was so bored with her marriage of six years that there was nothing left but empty feelings for her husband. She wished he would just leave and divorce her. All he cared about was getting drunk, day after day. It seemed as if he had alcohol for blood.

She decided to go online and open her BBW chat room. Just as she logged in, her friend Nina popped on to Instant Messenger. "Hi Jacks, When are you gonna open your chat room? I’m bored, and Brian is working tonight." Jackie replied, “Hi, Nina about 8 pm I think. I need to eat something first. " “Ok Jacks, see you then.”, Nina said before Jackie put her status on Away.

While passing time, Jackie grabbed a bite to eat and checked her email. “Dang, mostly junk mail. I might as well go ahead and open my chat room.”, She mumbled to herself. She was looking forward to a peaceful evening with all her friends. She liked to keep her chat room clean with lots of flirting and joking around. It helped to scare away the loneliness and blues of her real life.

It didn’t take long for people to start coming into the room after she set it up. “Welcome to my room. Have fun and keep it clean, please.”, She greeted them. Nina appeared in the room, giving her someone to chat with while she kept her eye on the name list. She was always looking for interesting people. One name in particular caught her eye. It was: handsome4rent. She decided to check out his profile. “Wow! He is handsome.”, She thought.

She didn’t hesitate to comment to him. “Hi, Handsome. Sure do like your pic and profile. Welcome to my room.” He immediately responded with a private message to her. “Hi, How are you? My name is Jeff.” Before responding to him she asked Nina to keep an eye on the room for her. Then she returned to the private conversation. “Hi, Jeff. I’m Jackie.”, She told him. He said, “Yes, I know. I was just looking at your profile and admiring your lovely blue eyes. You have a beautiful smile.”

“Wow. Thanks Jeff. But I’m no one special. Just me is all. You’re sweet. Thank you for saying that.”, She typed as her face blushed. “Well, Jackie, May I add you to my friends list. I need to go to bed. I teach at Boston University and have to get up early.”, He replied. “Sure. No problem. Nice to meet you and nice chatting with you.”, She said. Jeff responded with, “Goodnight beautiful lady.” Then he signed off.

She returned to the chat room and thanked Nina for watching it. “Did I miss anything good?”, She asked her friend. “Not really. Just having fun, Jacks. Welcome back, girlfriend.” By this time, Jackie’s mind was already wandering back to the conversation with Jeff. Anticipation built inside her. She could hardly wait to talk to him again. Something about him intrigued her mind. She wanted to get to know him more. She hoped he would talk to her again the next night.

She began to feel anxious and excused herself from the room with apologies for leaving early. “Stay as long as you want, everyone.”, She said before logging off the internet. Then she climbed into bed, snuggling under the covers with her mind centered on Jeff. She began to think about what could happen. He seemed like a great person. She longed to meet ‘Mr Right’ and had a feeling that he was the one for her.

She pictured his face in her mind, wondering what it would be like to kiss his soft lips. She imagined the feel of his hands caressing her body. A familiar heat began to spread through her like wildfire. It had been many years since a man had sensuously made love to her. The longing had grown quite strong over time. The only pleasure she received was from her vivid fantasies.

Jackie closed her eyes, as she was swept away in her fantasy. She removed her clothes slowly, as she wished Jeff would do to her. She could almost feel his mouth planting gentle kisses along her body. She shivered as her nipples hardened. “Oh, yes. Don’t stop.”, She whispered to her imaginary lover.

She felt him moving down her body, lavishing her with kisses til he reached her nether regions. He rubbed his face against her mound, waiting for her to part her legs. She slipped her fingers into her wet slit, touching herself as she wished Jeff would with his tongue.

Her fingers moved rapidly against her swollen clit, sending waves of pleasure throughout her. She gyrated her pelvis against her hands, slipping two fingers inside herself. She moaned and panted in pleasure, wanting more. It felt so deliciously good, that she almost forgot that Jeff wasn’t actually touching her.

When she peaked with a powerful climax, her squeals of pleasure echoed through the house. She was not concerned that her husband might hear, because he was probably passed out drunk. She spoke to her fantasy lover, saying, “Make love to me, Jeff.” She imagined him climbing on top of her, slowly sliding his cock deep inside her.

In her fantasy, he seemed to be the perfect fit, like their bodies were made for each other. He gently stroked in and out of her of her, wanting to give her the utmost pleasure. She moved her fingers at the speed that she wanted him to go. Slipping them in and out of her wet valley, in rhythm with the scenario in her mind.

She continued this until her body was enveloped by an intense heat as an orgasm began to ripple deep inside her loins. She cried out in pleasure, just as she imagined Jeff moaning and releasing his load of cream. Their juices mixing and covering each others legs. Jackie thought about what it would feel like to have him collapse against her bosom, heaving and trying to catch his breath. In her mind, she wrapped her arms around him. Not ever wanting to let go. She lay still, until her body began to relax. Then she rolled to the other side of the bed, feeling more content than she had in ages.

It seemed to take hours for her to fall asleep, but before she knew it the sun was rising. She felt well rested for once and in a chipper mood. So she got up to make her husbands coffee and prepare his lunch for work. He never ate breakfast or supper for that matter. He drank his supper always. She hoped he would leave earlier that morning.

As soon as he left for work she started her daily routine of house work. When her soaps came on she always took that two hour break to relax. On occasion she would check her email so it wouldn’t pile up with junk mail. When afternoon was closing in, she made a run to the post office to check for snail mail. After she arrived back home she started preparing supper, thinking maybe he would eat for once. She ate before he came home, cause if he did eat, he’d eat alone.

A few hours later he arrived home with his beer in hand. He retired to the sofa and popped a top. He turned the tv on and sat back. “Supper is ready if you want to eat, I’m going to my room.”, She told him. Jackie suspected he had already drank a few before coming home. But she didn’t care as long as he left her alone. “I also made you a plate for your lunch tomorrow.”, She yelled to him. “Uumhmmmmmmm.”, He mumbled in reply. She prepared a hot bubble bath so she could relax before opening her chat room.

She slowly sank into the tub, enjoying the feel of the hot water against her skin. As she washed herself, she imagined that Jeff was bathing her. His hands were gentle as feathers, highly arousing her, again. Her fingers slowly massaged her erogenous zones, as her mind pictured him. She smiled as she washed her hair, caressing her scalp just as she thought he would. It felt almost as good as sex.

The water soothed her body as she poured it over her head, making her feel like she had been massaged by a thousand soft tongues. There was no need to continue touching herself. She was so relaxed and satisfied with the bath, that she felt as if she had just experienced a triple orgasm.

When she finished her bath, she dried off and pulled a long t-shirt over her head. Then she turned her computer on, in the hopes of getting to talk to Jeff again. She didn’t see Nina online that night and the room was slow. She just left it open for any of her friends to use and started surfing web sites to bide her time. Nothing but wall flowers in the chat room. That’s the term used for people that just sit and don’t chat.

It was almost 8 pm when she got a message from him. “Be still my heart. Oh my God, its Jeff.”, She said to herself. She was so excited that she quickly closed all other programs but the private message between her and Jeff. She couldn’t believe he came back to talk to her again. “Hi, Jackie how are you? Remember me from last night?”, He asked. She felt her face redden, thinking about the fantasy she had the night before.

Jackie replied, “Oh, yes I sure do. How are you tonight, Jeff?” “Well, actually I couldn’t forget those lovely blues eyes and perfect smile. You’ve been in my thoughts all day.”, He said. “Wow, Jeff.”, Jackie replied.. Then he said, “Well, I feel connected to you since I saw you. Like I’ve known you before.” “Oh really? Cool.”, She replied, feeling a bit awed by his words.

“We can chat longer tonight if you would like, Jackie. I don’t have to work tomorrow.”, He told her. “Sure, Jeff. I would love to chat with you for a while.”, She said, ecstatically. They ended up talking all night. She told him everything about herself and her horrible life at home. She left out no details, being solely honest with him. Little did she know that this was just the beginning of months of talking every night for them.

Jackie had even marked on her calendar the night that he appeared for the first chat with her. Somehow she knew she would end up caring for him. She already was feeling strongly towards him. The thing she loved best about him was the fact that he had never once so far ask her about anything sexual wise. As she was kinda old fashioned in that way. She had morals, however, she did have deep sensual and naughty secret fantasies deep inside. She had never known the right kind of man to share them with.

As time went on, Jeff proclaimed his love for Jackie. He said, that he would love her forever and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. The feelings of desire and lust was building between them. The sexual tension began to grow with each conversation. They both knew they needed to make love somehow but neither wanted to bring it up.

Finally, Jackie could wait no longer. After fantasizing about him for months, she broke the ice one night. She casually began to flirt with him by telling him that she liked to look at his picture and imagine what it would be like to kiss him. Jeff wasted no time responding to her need. He showed her what a wonderful sexual person he could be. He talked about tenderly making love to her, leaving out no details. He was always more concerned with her pleasure than his own.

Jackie felt like a woman again. She was loved , needed and wanted. Jeff was so gentle and loving, he made her feel like she was somebody. She had never know that kind of love before. As time went on, she began to love him like she had never loved any man. They talked about meeting in person so they could make love and hold each other.

They just had to be together. Jeff promised her time and time again, that it would really happen. He swore to her that he would come to South Carolina in June, just as soon as the semester was over. But that was over six months away, which seemed like a life time to wait, to Jackie.

It was almost Christmas time. The most wonderful time of the year. Jeff and Jackie were in love and that made Christmas even more wonderful. One day while she was online checking her email, she got a instant message from a mrlewis55. “Who is that?” she thought. “Could it be Jeff’s family, since his last name is Lewis? Oh my God, has something happened to him?”

“Jackie is this you?”, The message read. “Yes it is, who are you?”, She replied. “I’m Jeff’s dad. I’m in Chicago. Jeff has been in a bike accident but he is ok. I’m on my way to Boston to the hospital. I’ll contact you later.”, He told her. With shaking hands, she typed, “Ok! Please let me know something Mr Lewis.” “I will Jackie. Bye.”, He responded before disappearing.

Days went by with no news. She cried day and night, worried about Jeff. About 2 weeks later, Jeff contacted her. Her heart almost leapt out of her chest when he sent her a message. “I’m sorry, honey. I’m ok, but staying in Chicago at my parent’s house. Merry Christmas. I love you and I am truly sorry that I worried you.”, He told her. Breathing a sigh of relieve, she smiled and answered him. “It’s ok baby. I’m just glad you are ok. But, God I have missed you.” He said, “Me too, sweetheart. I’ve missed your loving.”

“I know. I love you too. Honey, please give me your personal info so I can contact you. I can’t bare to not know if your doing ok. See what happened when you had the accident and I had no way to find out anything.”, She pleaded. He hesitated for a moment then said, “Ok, baby I’ll give you my phone number and address.” “Thank you.”, She replied. “Your welcome sweetheart, just for you, honey. Let’s make love. God! I need you!”, Jeff said. “ I need you too baby, so much.”, She told him before he started talking in the way she loved so much.

Before they said their good nights and logged out, Jeff promised to come back the next day to chat. But he did not show up. She began to worry, and fret about him again. She neglected her housework, hoping to catch him online during the day. As each hour passed, she became more suspicious because he was rarely online. Each time he was, the conversations were brief with him promising to return the next day. She finally had enough and decided to call him.

She dialed the number he given her with trembling hands. She frowned in confusion when someone answered the phone, with the name of an Italian restaurant. “Oh my God!”, She thought, when they said that nobody named Jeff Lewis was there. “Maybe he accidently gave me the wrong number.”, Jackie mumbled. She logged onto Yahoo and did a people search.

“Damn! No matches. I’ll go to the Boston businesses listings and look there. Then see if I can find the street where he lives.” She thought. She saw restaurants in the Boston metro area so she looked for the one she just talked to. She saw that the same phone number and address matched the ones Jeff had given her.

She cried for days, not knowing how to take it. But she loved Jeff so deeply, that she would give him a chance to explain. Finally, after a few more weeks of anguishing time, Jeff was back online. When she confronted him about the wrong phone number, he changed the subject. But she let it slide because she didn’t want to loose him. They talked for hours and made love. He promised to be online more for her. “I’m just so busy with school, that’s all.”, Was his excuse.

By now Jackie was so disgusted with her marriage that she could barely stand to be in the same house with her husband. She knew it wasn’t fair to him, her or Jeff to continue being in the marriage. So, she sat down with her husband and told him that she wanted a divorce. He said, “If you want, I’ll leave and move back home.” Jackie told him she thought it would be best. He left the same night and she filed for divorce soon afterwards. She hasn’t seen or heard from him since. She figured he probably had his freedom to drink himself to death. She pitied him, but she thought he might seek help someday.

Well needless to say Jeff returned eventually. Again, Jackie asked for the truth. Jeff replied, “Ok! I’ll tell you everything. Just let me say I know I lied to you. I just don’t want to loose you, Jackie. My name is not Jeff Lewis. My name is Jon White. I do live in Boston. That’s the only true thing I told you about myself.” Stunned but relieved to finally hear the truth, she replied, “Let me say this. I still love you. There’s no need to lie to me. I’ll give you this last chance, if you will give me your real phone number, address and call me.”

So, Jeff gave her another phone number and said “I’ll try to call you before I go to work in the morning. If I don’t call then you, call the number I gave you. It’s my office number. I’m in a Realty partnership. Ask for me.” “Ok, but you better try to call me, Jon.”, She said. He replied, “I will baby. Good night my love.” “Good night baby, I love you. Bye.”, She told him.

Jackie went to bed and slept like a baby after weeks of crying herself to sleep. The next morning she waited for his call. Afternoon came, still no word from him. Jackie decided to call the number and ask for Jon. “My God! It’s a fucking ski shop!”, She thought to herself, when the man on the phone said, “Sorry ma’am, we don’t know a Jon White.” “Thank you. Sorry for bothering you.”, She barely managed to say before dropping the phone. Tears streamed down her face as she fell to her knees on the floor. She screamed, “Damn, you! Who ever you are!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Devastated she got up, turned on her computer, and logged onto Yahoo. She sent Jon an offline message to the email address he given her when they first met. Her message read, “I hate you for what you have done to me. You were everything to me! I gave you almost a year of my undying love. How could you do this to me? I’m blocking you, leave me alone!! P.S. You know what Jeff, Jon, whoever the fuck you really are. The best way to get over an old love is to find a new one. POOF!!!!!!!!!!”

After weeks of tears, hurt and devastation Jackie realized it was finally over. Although she was shattered and felt like her heart was broken beyond repair she was determined to go on with her life. She decided that she wasn’t going to let him destroy what she had left of her life. She wanted to find someone in her local area that she could meet for real. Her married friends Nina and King, suggested that she open another chat room. She thought about it and said, “I don’t think I’m ready.”

But she started chatting in local chat rooms on occasion. She met a few nice men, and even went out on a few dates. She decided to be very choosey and make men prove themselves worthy of her love. She did not want to get hurt again by another man that played games on the internet. She made many new male friends, careful to keep most at a distance until she figured out if they were fakes or not.

After several more months of the monotonous searching for her Prince Charming, she finally met a man online that seemed to live up to everything he told her. His name was Paul. He was thirty-nine years old. Although he was a little over ten years younger than Jackie, they seemed to hit it off from day one. They chatted every day for months before deciding to meet in person.

They agreed to meet at a hotel in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Jackie arrived first, waiting in the lobby for him. She recognized him from his picture, when he pulled up to the curb and handed the valet his keys. He walked through the door, instantly making eye contact with her. She nearly melted when he stared deep into her eyes and gave her a sexy smile. He approached her slowly, scooping her hand up in his, bringing it to his lips for a soft kiss that sent tingles up her arms.

Jackie felt as if her knees would buckle before he released her hand and walked toward the check-in counter. Her eyes wondered down his backside, admiring his physique. She liked the way his butt muscles rippled against his tight jeans with each step he took. She was pretty sure that he wore nothing under his pants. Her cheeks blushed when he glanced over his shoulder and caught her staring.

She turned her head, embarrassed that he had seen her lusting over his ass. He handled it with the utmost grace. He merely walked to her side and offered his arm to her. They followed the bellhop to the elevator, neither speaking on the ride up to the top floor. Jackie gasped when the doors opened to the penthouse suite.