Masie looked up and burst out laughing.
'Oh Lennard, if only you could see your face! It's a picture.'
And a picture it was. A combination of horror and acute embarrassment.
He had walked back into his living room with her coffee to find her sitting on his settee studying the dvd case of the elderly couples sex disc. He suddenly broke out in a cold sweat and his face clearly betrayed his dismay.
After Albert and he had enjoyed themselves the previous afternoon they had watched television for a while, quite comfortable in each others company, and then they both dozed off to sleep.
He had awoken when Albert had gently called him to say he was going. He had got dressed and was holding a couple of Lens' films and just wanted to say cheerio before leaving and no doubt they'd see each other in the club fairly soon.
After he'd departed Len dressed but remained pretty lethargic for the rest of the day and decided he'd clear up in the morning. After a simple supper he retired early and was asleep in minutes. He'd slept late the next morning and ran through the previous days events while snuggled under the duvet. He was OK about what had happened and decided he would see if and how far things developed with Albert before he felt uncomfortable with it.
He'd got up and dressed and had his breakfast and was just about to drink his coffee when there was a tap on his door. He opened it to find Masie standing there. She occupied the next apartment to his and from the few occasions they had talked, Len had warmed to her. She was a widow but she had a bubbly personality and would easily break into a smile, unlike several of the other residents who were generally pretty miserable.
She apologised for disturbing him but said she was thinking of organising a coach trip to a local attraction and wondered if he would be interested in going. He invited her in and she accepted his offer of coffee and sat down while he disappeared into his kitchen to make it. It was when he returned that he cringed.
'You look as if you've seen a ghost.' She laughed.
Len coughed embarrassedly, his face bright red.
'Well....' he stuttered, 'it's not...erm..what...it looks like...' He dried up because it obviously was what it looked like.
'Oh don't be so silly,' she said patting the seat beside her, 'come and sit down and don't worry about this.' She held up the case. 'It's probably no worse than some I've got!'
Len stared at her as he sat down, his eyes widening.
'You look surprised.' she said.
'Well...I am really...it's just that....'
She interrupted him. 'What's a little old lady like me doing taking an interest in that sort of thing for? Is that what you're thinking?'
'Well...that's not quite...er...how I would have put it.'
'Len,' she said putting her hand on his knee, 'just because you get old it doesn't mean that the feelings you've had all your life disappear when you're suddenly deprived of the person you shared those feelings with. In fact it's a terrible blow.'
She took her hand away and just looked down at the floor for a while in a silence that Len was reluctant to break. She looked at him again.
'You know Lennard, ever since you moved in a while ago I've thought you're far more of a gentleman than a lot here. You keep yourself to yourself and I've never known you to have a bad word to say about anyone. I feel I can talk to you as I've never talked to any of the others and that I can trust you with anything I tell you.'
She looked at him.
'I really feel I need someone I can talk to openly who won't judge me or criticise me and your reaction to this,' she indicated the dvd, 'leads me to think you're a decent person who wouldn't be offended if I did.'
Len didn't say anything initially. It was nice to hear the compliment and it was a lift to think that someone like Masie could confide in him. It was a strange situation for him though, as all through their married life he and Rose had rarely opened up fully to each other.
He cleared his throat. 'Well...I'd always be happy to listen if you wanted to talk,' he said, 'but whether I'd be able to be of much help....'
'Just offering a sympathetic ear would be enough.' She suddenly laughed at what she had just said. 'I don't mean you should feel sorry for me, just...well,' she shrugged her shoulders, ' you know what I mean.' Len nodded and wondered what was coming next.
'I lost Freddy just three years ago and we loved each other right to the end. I still miss him terribly for many reasons and this,' she indicated the dvd, 'is one of them.'
She went on more softly now. 'He was a lovely man and attractive in many different ways. He made friends very easily and women seemed drawn to him like a magnet. Early in our marriage I could see what was happening and I set out to make sure for the rest of our time together he had no reason to cast his eyes elsewhere.' She looked at Len. 'Do you understand what I am saying?'
He nodded slowly. 'I think so.'
'I read everything about sex I could, which wasn't much in those days -- not like now, and I couldn't discuss things with friends or my mother and there wasn't the internet to turn to for inspiration.'
'I initiated intimacy at every opportunity even when I didn't really feel like it, but I was truly frightened of losing him.'
She paused for a moment, looking straight ahead.
'What happened though was that we started getting more and more inventive with each other, all the time looking to feed our excitement until we both knew that nobody to come anywhere near matching what we had.'
She stopped suddenly, her face reddening. 'Oh hark at me going on.' She looked at him. 'I must be embarrassing you. I'm sorry.' and got up as if to leave.
Len gently caught her arm and guided her back down. Here was a person who needed to open herself up to someone and he was the only one she felt able to trust. He knew whatever happened he couldn't let her down.
'Please stay and talk to me,' he said softly, 'and if I can help in any way...'
'You already are.' she said. She hesitated before going on. 'Are you sure you don't mind?'
