I guess that I was a bit of a slow starter. I was 20 -- almost 21 -- before I got a proper look at a real, live naked woman.
Justine was the girlfriend of a friend, and she and the friend -- Johnny -- were going through a bit of a rough patch. In fact, it was pretty much all over between them -- except that Johnny hadn't got around to conveying this bit of information to Justine. She thought that they were still 'an item' -- albeit an item that was in need of a bit of work.
Johnny and Justine were both quite a bit older than me. They were in their mid-30s. And I think that Justine probably thought that she and Johnny would eventually get married.
I can't remember how Johnny conned me into being the one to return a few of Justine's 'personal' items to her. Johnny had taken up with Bryony. And he didn't want Bryony discovering Justine's stuff in the drawer of the dresser in his bedroom.
'Shouldn't you go and explain things to her?' I said. 'You know.'
'Probably. But not today. I think I need to break it off gradually. Give her time to get used to the idea.'
I remember that when I rang Justine's doorbell, she seemed a little surprised to see me. 'Oh. Hello.' she said. 'I thought it might be Johnny.'
'No. Sorry,' I said. 'Just me.'
'Oh, no. Don't be sorry. Come in.'
'Just dropping some stuff off,' I said. 'From Johnny.' I remember her looking in the bag and frowning. 'I was just around at Johnny's place helping him to move his piano,' I explained.
'His piano? He hasn't sold it, has he?'
'No, no,' I said. 'He just thought that it was getting a bit much sun where it was. We moved it to the other side of the room.'
Justine frowned. 'I told him that it was getting too much sun a couple of weeks ago.'
'Oh well, the message seems to have finally got through. Better late than never, eh?'
Justine nodded. 'Come in,' she said.
'Well ... you're probably busy.'
'Busy? No. I've just opened a bottle of wine. I was hoping that Johnny might come around.'
I followed her into the flat, and, yes, she had opened a bottle of wine. It also looked as if she might have given it a bit of a nudge.
'I'll get another glass,' she said.
To be honest, I had never really understood how Johnny and Justine had got together. Johnny was dapper, multi-talented, and a money magnet. Justine was verging on Rubenesque. And, while she was no dummy, she could, occasionally, come across as being a bit ... well ... naΓ―ve.
Justine poured me a glass of wine and topped up her own. 'Cin cin,' she said.
'Yes. Cin cin,' I echoed.
'What do you think?' she asked, after we had had a few sips of the wine. 'Is Johnny trying to tell me something?'
'Tell you something?'
'Knickers,' she said, point to the bag. 'Next time I'm at his place, I won't have any.'
I think that I just laughed. But I suspect that I may have laughed nervously.
'It's so difficult,' she said. 'You know. Men.'
She was pushing on the wrong door. From everything that I had heard, it was women who were difficult. Of course, at that stage, I hadn't really had a lot of experience of women. I was just going by what other people had said.
'Do you think I'm fat?' Justine asked.
'Fat? Oh, gosh, no.' Compared to beanpole Bryony, Justine was a little on the plump side. But we're not talking circus proportions. She was just ... well, as I said earlier, slightly Rubenesque. Curvy. With breasts that were probably more than a handful.
'I think Johnny thinks I'm fat,' she said.
'Oh?'
'He keeps saying that I should have his old Exercycle.'
'Perhaps he's just trying to make space,' I said. 'His new place is quite small. Swish. Trendy. Chic, even. But small.'
'I don't think so,' she said.
'Also, I know that he's trying to organise things so that he can work from home more often. Save a bit of travelling time. You know.'
Justine nodded. But she didn't seem convinced. 'I'll get some cheese,' she said, and she headed off to the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with a squishy ripe Camembert, some slices of semi-dried apricot, and a plate of assorted crackers. 'He's been very strange lately,' she said.
'Oh? Who's that?'
'Johnny. Do you think he's up to something?'
I
knew
that he was up to something. But I couldn't very well tell Justine. So I tried to change the subject. 'How's the shop going?' I asked. (Johnny had steered Justine into a business selling handmade designer fashion accessories -- handbags, belts, scarves, hair slides, that sort of thing.)
'It's good,' she said. 'Although I sometimes wonder if I'm cut out to be a shopkeeper. In one place all day. Still ... as Johnny keeps pointing out, it's quite a successful business. You should come and visit me.'
'Yeah. I will,' I said. 'Next time I'm in that part of town, I'll stick my head in.'
As things transpired, I was in Marylebone the following week. I had to drop my saxophone into Howath for a bit of a tweak. Justine's store was almost directly across the street. I was in two minds as to whether to look in on her. I hadn't seen Johnny for a few days, and I wasn't sure whether the two of them had had their little chat. But then, when I walked out of Howath, Justine was standing there in her doorway. Looking straight across at me. I couldn't very well ignore her.