Jeni's Arrangement

Chapter 2: The Letter

Every married woman has a secret hideaway for personal things. Jeni was no different. She reached into her lamp table drawer and pulled out that envelope she'd kept hidden for many years. Through the years, she developed a strange attachment to this letter. She hated it, yet she could not destroy it; it had a mysterious hold on her. This document had produced every kind of emotion in her that one could imagine.

Almost ten years ago, after receiving the letter she flew into a rage. She was ready to throw Matt out of the house, leave with the two children and file for a divorce. Luckily, for her this was not so easy. Matt was traveling out of the country and could not be reached. It gave her some time to settle down and think. She reflected on that period of time as she opened the letter and read for the umpteenth time.

Dear Mrs. Ekland:

I hope some day in the future you can read this letter and consider it a gift. Now you may consider it a terrible nightmare. I expect that after reading this that your first reaction will be to experience all of the devastating emotions a woman can experience...rage, revenge, jealousy, embarrassment, rejection, contempt...all of those feelings that drive good people apart.

Jeni read and thought...How dare someone else tell her how she felt?

You see, I'm older than you by, maybe, ten years. I mention these emotions as I have experienced all of them and realize that I made a huge mistake. I recently ran my husband off which later ended in a nasty divorce. I became the bitch from hell. He had to pay. Eventually, I didn't even like myself; but I was on a mission. I would be the role model for all scorned women.

Well I came to realize, too late, that the son of a bitch that I threw out was a pretty good MAN. He was pretty smart. The "fixed for life" fortune that I thought I was going to get was barely enough for me to raise our two children. He got himself a good lawyer and before the trail proceedings were over, one would have thought that I was the adulterer.

To his credit he maintained a good relationship with the children and made sure all of their needs were met...college included. His show of love for the children was one of the things that began to soften my bitterness toward him. Slowly we were able to rebuild a friendship the kids appreciated. Yet, I could not let go of his indiscretions.

He was an animal. By that I mean that if there was a pussy out there that needed scratching, he would be first in line. He felt it his duty to relieve the itch of any woman in heat. He had no shame or embarrassment about it. He never saw a need too. I could not accept that kind of thinking. From my point of view, he was mine. He was my property.

And yet, he was a contradiction. He would confess that he could not help himself and made no great attempts to restrain himself. On the other hand, he was discreet about his affairs in public. His opinion about sex was that it was a basic need that needed satisfying and that was the natural animal role of the male species.

I've often thought that was too lame of an argument for men to use.

He even suggested that on a less frequent occasion that women would need the same outlet and I believe that he would not have cared. He would observe that this type female behavior was normal in the animal world. He truly believed that to be the case.

I concluded that he was just an ancient thinking Neanderthal with a brain located at the end of his dick. Now I realized, somewhat reluctantly, that he was much more complicated that that.

I began to change my mind when I met Matt. I was an administrative assistant with Myer Construction and on many occasions we would travel to other nearby project locations.

It always pisses me off to read Matt's name in this letter.

I began to see the same animal instincts in this guy. He worked extremely hard and played hard. He viewed everything as a competition. I gradually became attracted to his maleness and began to realize that this is the "it" that appeals to the opposite sex. He was an alpha male. This "it" is the thing that we women have to claim for ourselves. We think we have to capture it and mold it into a domesticated possession. We see them as objects of reproduction with the qualities we would like to create in our young. How else are we to unleash those nurturing qualities that are born in us?

Often, and after we have the children, the stud flees in search of new flowers to pollinate and new ground to plant seed. We could care less about those sexy, stud-like qualities that attracted us in the first place. We have young to take care of. And when we lose the stud mate, we have to make ourselves attractive all over again but this time we could care less about his breeding-stock characteristics. We are looking for a well healed mate that can provide food, shelter and security for ourselves and our children.

I'm beginning to accept some of the things that she writes about as being true.

Some men are lazy and willing to be domesticated, but we soon tire of them. No longer burdened by the quest for another mate, we allow ourselves to become overweight and unattractive. We, often, blame child bearing, housework and child rearing to justify our excesses. We have bought into the notion that motherhood, and monogamous marriages are sacred.

The elevation of our status is primarily a concept developed by man for the purpose of controlling women...his religions, his male dominated societies. We have bought into this purity and sanctity concept.

But, it has robbed us our natural instincts much more so than man. Obviously this is my opinion and I don't advocate for anyone else but myself. After I ran my husband off the desire didn't begin to rebuild itself until I had gotten through the bitterness. My hands, vibrators and dildos, all instruments of self pleasure, provided some temporary relief. I thought that would be all I needed. Work became my refuge. I could forget my troubles during the day, and release that sexual tension with some self-play just before bedtime. But, the warm male body was missing. The act of becoming one unique warm blooded male/female organism riding a thrill was lost. I just needed to recapture some of that.

Those sex hormones began to emerge again. I got horny. I would look at Matt's behavior around the office. I didn't want to admit it, but he began to remind me of my husband. He was all man. It was obvious that other women were attracted to him. He took care of himself physically; strong legs and a great ass. He dressed rugged. The man was extremely confident...all business, and easy to get along with. I would fantasize that he knew how to drive that cock with those gluts. He had the goods. He was the strong, quite type who was very serious about his work. Women love these characteristics in a man and I needed some of that.

Subconsciously, I knew I couldn't resist his advances if they were ever offered. I would fantasize about various ways Matt would take me as I succumbed to the night time masturbation session. I could get off extremely well if I could include Matt in my lust filled imagination.

Matt wasn't impressed by the young and inexperience honeys flitting around him. Yet he confessed that he needed to relieve the sexual energy buildup quite frequently and would roll one in the sack just to get off. He even admitted that he would get so horny that he would pay a prostitute so that he could get his mind back on work the next day.

He seemed to respond to the more mature conversation that we had. I was beginning to admit that if the opportunity ever arose that he would have to finish the job.

Every time I read this, I get mad and at the same time I begin to get turned on and ask 'why' or 'why not?' I have to admit that I'm having some of the same feelings. For some strange reason I seem to have heard this story before.

On one trip; just the two of us, I told myself if Matt wanted some of me, it would happen. I wasn't on the prowl but let's just say that I was available. It had been four months since my husband and I had separated. I was extremely vulnerable and depressed. Hell, I was a basket case. I wasn't dating anyone else. I was not anywhere near considering another relationship but I knew I needed a good screwing.

That's when I came to the conclusion that I was just another animal that had gotten addicted to a healthy sex life. Why should a woman deny herself something as basic as human nature? All this church pontification about the sanctity of marriage, society's morals and the natural order of things just didn't make any sense to me anymore at this age.

We were assigned adjoining rooms and on this occasion a common door was convenient for movement between rooms. I didn't hesitate. I figured if I was going to get fucked I might as well get started. So I opened the door between us. Immediately Matt saw something in my expression that indicated a need for intimacy. He took me into his arms and in an understanding way asked, "May I have you tonight?"

I replied, "Matt, there have been too many nights alone; I need a man tonight and you're the man I want. There, I've said it. I hope you don't think that I'm coming on too strong. I can go back into the other room and nothing will be any different." I will never forget his response, "My lady, you are most welcome in my bed, but to make things perfectly clear, my intentions are to fuck your brains out. I need it as much as you."

I laughed and replied, "Don't worry; anything I have is yours tonight just as long as you finish the job. Don't leave me hanging." I think we both realized that there was a physical need that had to be satisfied immediately.

Matt pointed at the king size bed and with that devilish grin he said, "Meet me here in thirty minutes and we'll see who cums first. I laughed and anxiously responded, "Give me a little while to take a shower. Oh...bet I come before you."

After taking a shower, I dressed in a little sexy teddy that snapped in the crotch and met Matt lying in the bed wearing only a pair of white boxers. He had the thing I needed. My outfit must have had some effect as his cock seemed to fill the front of his shorts quite nicely. I'm not sure the clothes were of much use. Soon they were strewn onto the adjacent bed. We kissed, fingered and tongued every erogenous zone we could find. There was a primal urgency in the exploration of our bodies. Our mission was sexual relief and mutual satisfaction; no more, no less.

He chewed my nipples enough to bring that erotic pain that creates that strange hunger deep inside a woman's vagina. His tongue explored my labia, my opening, my nether lips, and yes finally, he put me out my misery by attacking the clitoris. It was a misery that had built up over the past few months and only took seconds to release. Finally some satisfaction, yet, our tryst was just beginning.

We allowed ourselves a brief period to recover from the first orgasm. It was my turn. Matt lay on his back, eyes closed, with a semi-erection resting on his lower midsection. I quietly raised myself on one elbow and with an over-active imagination gazed at a most fascinating sight. I began to observe this man's penis lying in a nest of pubic hair. As I stared at this organ, I admired its unique personality. There it was leaking pre-coital fluid from a masterful shaped bluish, purple head. It wasn't one of those monster cocks we see in the pornos, it was just the right size; shaped so perfectly for woman's pleasure...tonight it would be mine.

I touched it and felt a nice response. It was alive. The veins pulsed in rhythm with his heartbeat. I gently took it in my hand and with some curiosity tried to look down the small opening. Strange thoughts and images formed. Through this opening a man with a full bladder could piss like a horse...with erotic thought could secrete generous amounts of lubricating fluids and with the ultimate in sexual stimulation could expel virile seminal charges of breeding sperm.

I wondered how this organ could, at times, be as violent as to commit rape and at other times so shriveled and docile as to wither away into a short pee-tube. What a hypocrite...what a contradiction...a muscle with no conscience and a schizophrenic personality. Somewhere in these disoriented images I wondered, why such fascination with a man's cock?

Damn this woman, how can she describe her feelings about my husband's cock? Why can't I put this down?

On the other hand, maybe there is an understanding of mans need for the gifts between our legs. Men and women alike have lost their lives and wars have been fought to control this possession we each have. It would seem that we ought to learn to use it wisely.

I can agree with that last sentence.

But my focus was the feast spread so deliciously before me.

I knew Matt was only on loan. His wife and children owned his heart and soul. One would have to accept the deal. He was the hunter; the conquering male. That was his view of human nature and it was my wish and extreme desire to become the captured prey. There could be tenderness and affection but no love or commitment for anyone but his wife and children. I knew that was all that was available. It would be easy to accept the deal, because that's all I wanted. That was good enough for me.

It only took a small amount of time to get Matt ready. A few slow strokes and a tender oral massage prepared him for the wonderful invasion I so eagerly craved. His entire body came to life as he rolled over me supporting himself on his knees and one elbow. His cock nested in my pubic hair leaving a wet matted trail as it inched closer to the swollen lips of my vagina. The anticipation was unbearable. I arched my pelvic region into his groin to no avail. Matt would pull away and wait for me to settle back and then probe the opening over and over. I reached up between us and wrapped my hand around the base of his cock; trying to pull him into my pussy. The frustration became too much as I tired of his teasing game. I seized his balls and through gritted teeth said, "goddamn it, put it in, I can't wait any longer."

The next sensation I felt was his cock slamming into the depths of my vagina, a sudden crash into my clitoris and an immediately hot flash spread throughout my body I was in the throes of the second orgasm of the evening. Just a mass of lurching muscle skewered on the end of this man's dick. It was an awesome feeling and an immediate overdose of passion. It happened too fast. I needed more.

Matt sensed my needs as he continued a rhythm of slow sensual strokes that would continue almost endlessly. It became quite obvious that the animal had tremendous staying power. He would almost withdraw and my labia would nearly close. With raised legs against his thighs, I urged his reverse direction and the penetrating feeling started all over again. His cock filled me. Each stroke ended with that sweet crash against my clit. On and on our bodies danced. The thrusting intensified. Each invasion took us closer to my third, his first orgasm.

Soft, unintelligible sounds filled our space. The smell of squishing sex organs infiltrated our nostrils. He was close. His face became a crimson red and his breathing came in short gasps. The swollen cunt lips of my vulva absorbed the delicious pounding. I knew this area would be tender tomorrow, but for now the feeling was incredible. I was getting what I needed. He was as well.

His cock now swelled to that pre-orgasmic hardness a woman senses as a precursor to his explosion. "Ummmph" he grunted, "I'm coming...where do you want it?"

"Right there...keep it in, keep it in," I cried. In complete harmony, our bodies, twitched, jerked, and spasmed, out of control. In several ejaculatory lurches, he filled me with his warm semen. What an incredibly intense experience. Whew...I needed that. What a wonderful release.

We collapsed in each others arms and settled on a journey from total exploding ecstasy to a blissful relaxation of normalcy. We lay motionless for almost an hour.

Reality set in as we stirred from our brief respite. Gone were all the carnal urges. The organs involved in this passion struggle had shriveled into a state of sleep. I wanted my own space for the rest of the evening. It turns out that's what he wanted.

This became a stark reality when Matt said, "that was great. I hope you needed that as much as me. Now I need to get a good night's sleep."

I understood. I had been politely dismissed back to my room to sleep alone. That's when I realized our night was over. That was part of the deal. We had willingly used the other to satisfy physical needs that had built up over absences. I understood clearly that I had to get my husband back. I now understood the need to satisfy the physical. On the other hand, it would be the meaningful events in two people's lives that would be the essential glue holding them together; not the ownership of the others sexual being. Experience and experiences achieved over time are great educators and great healers.

Thank goodness, I have my husband back, and the children have us back. We also have the freedom to enjoy another sexually as the need arises. I owe part of this education to Matt...one of the alpha males.

I think I know the writer of this letter.