Janie In The Library Ch 02

My alarm clock woke me with an annoying buzz as the first rays of sunshine fell across my pillow. My birds could be heard protesting the blanket over their cage. I wiped my eyes and glanced at the clock. Why did it always feel like I was sleep-deprived? Oh yeah, I am in a graduate school program; of course I am sleep deprived.

Then my thoughts flowed to last night. Colin. My professor. In the library. The emails. The sex. My stomach turned and I felt a mixture of nausea and exhilaration. I couldn't tell if I was excited or upset.

As I showered I remembered our tryst. He had been a tender lover, yet with a firm hand; dominant but not unkind. He had felt wonderful inside me. I shampooed my hair and let the suds run down my back. I felt like a schoolgirl in love with the junior high bully. This couldn't possibly work, could it?

I dried myself off and slipped on some green silk panties. My pussy was sore and it felt comforting to have my high-end lingerie against my sensitive skin. Or was this just an excuse to wear my sexiest panties in hope that Colin would get to see them? Who was I kidding; I had developed a desperate crush on my college advisor, mentor, and professor. This was supposed to be a professional relationship!

My jeans slid up over my womanly hips as I recalled the previous night. We had stayed on the carpeted floor of the library for some time, talking and complementing each others' sexual expertise. We had dressed in silence, and Colin helped me clean the wet spot off the rug. I was so shy I could barely look at him. He hugged me goodnight after walking me to my car. I didn't return home until after midnight and fell asleep with the realization that we had not discussed the "morning after." What was to become of us?

I loaded my car with my daily essentials: my purse, my laptop, my books and gym bag. My mind was cloudy with memories. As I sat in the drivers' seat, I had to move the sweater I had been wearing the previous night out of the way. It smelled of him. My heart fluttered.

As I approached the campus, my whole body began to shake with apprehension. I wanted more than ever to see Colin, yet at the same time, I was tempted to turn the wheel and drive far, far away. More than ever, I was nervous someone would find out. Either we would be on a hidden camera somewhere, or my friends would guess my secret the moment they saw my face. Twisted fantasies of the dean yelling at us flashed through my mind.

I also had an urge to tell someone. I had gotten the one man I had been lusting after for months; there was a sense of accomplishment in that! But who in their right mind would approve of such a fucked up situation? Who could I possibly confide in? He was old enough to be my father...barely, but he was!

I walked towards the front entrance of my school's main lobby. It looked empty and lonely, and for a moment I wondered if it was Saturday. No, I was early, for once. I wanted to go into the library but found my body walking away from it on its own accord.

I passed the front desk and headed into the restroom. I ran my sweating palms under the faucet before looking up at my reflection. The person staring back at me from the mirror did not look like me. I looked like a slut who fucks her teacher. I laughed at myself and fixed a stray hair. Maybe I should have taken the day off. I took a deep sigh and held my head up high. I smiled at myself in the mirror and talked myself into leaving the safe haven of the women's restroom.

I passed a few people in the halls but it was all a blur and I glanced at the ground whenever anyone smiled at me. I found a spot in the museum where I knew I would be alone with my thoughts. I set up my laptop so it looked like I was busy, but I doubted I would get any of my thesis work done today. I actually felt very much alone.

I decided to check my email but found nothing exciting in my inbox. A wicked thrill shot through me as I remembered Colin's emails from last night. I had saved a few of them and found myself re-reading them with growing excitement. I couldn't believe the raunchy, sexy things he said to me in his emails last night. My professional and distinguished advisor! He was like a Jeckel and Hyde: refined and intellectual one moment and a ravenous sexual deviant the next. And kinky! He had licked my neck, swatted my ass, and spanked my clit all in the same session. Not to mention he made passionate love to me like no man ever had. With the men my age, we had to work at sex for a few months until it was that good, but Colin did everything right on our first night together.

About 30 minutes passed before I was finished with my day-dreaming and decided to get some work done. I set up my work station with all the proper equipment, put my audio files on shuffle, and went to the warehouse to get some specimens.

I located a few jars that I needed on the shelf. They were slightly dusty and just out of reach. Glancing around, I spotted the ladder and moved it over. I climbed up three steps and placed my small hands over the jar I wanted. It was heavier than expected, so I had to lean over the plastic bin.

"Hi, Janie..."

I recognized Colin's voice immediately and almost fell off the ladder.

I sighed and pushed my blonde bangs out of my eyes. The smile that spread across my face was not of my intention. I must have been blushing as well. Colin smiled up at me like the knight waiting for Rapunzel to throw down her golden hair.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Confused," I admitted.

He widened his eyes briefly, indicating he understood my confusion. He sighed, "Shall we talk about it?"

I glanced around the dim warehouse. God, this whole situation was making me paranoid. "How 'bout lunch?" I asked. I didn't want to sound too eager.

"I have a meeting with a student. We could meet after that, but unfortunately my office is a shared space so we would need to go somewhere private."

We both thought for a moment.

"Why don't we go out for dinner instead?" he inquired. I could tell he was holding his breath.

"That's a possibility," I nodded. I fought the urge to come down and bury myself in his embrace. Actually I didn't trust my weak knees to navigate down the stairs. He seemed even more attractive than usual today. He was wearing a red Polo shirt and trousers; nothing too fancy. Nevertheless my eyes feasted on him like I hadn't seen him in weeks. His unwavering stare met mine, and of course, I blushed and turned away.

"So I will email you?"

"Sure," I said, stifling a giggle. He turned on his heels and I watched him go.

Later that day, I was in the library hunting for an article, when Colin walked in. I was excited but looked up nonchalantly and blinked at him as he approached.

"I made a reservation," he said.

"What!?" I said, a little too loudly for a library setting.

"For dinner; I made a reservation at Mox's Latitudes."

I scowled, "I heard you, but in God's name, why?"

"So we can eat in peace, and nobody from here will interrupt us. Be sides, I wanted to take you someplace nice," he explained in a whisper.

I rolled my eyes at him, but he had a point. None of the professors lived around here, so we would probably be safe. And most of the students couldn't afford to eat at a place like that. "Okay, what time?"

He smiled, "seven."

I was waiting in my car in the campus lot when Colin appeared. He glanced over at me in the darkness before getting into his car. We had decided through email to take separate cars to Mox's Latitudes. I didn't see anyone else about, but played it safe by putting a few minutes between us. It took me a mere 5 minutes to reach the destination, and I saw Colin walk into the restaurant as I parked.

In the car, I changed into my gym top which is really low-cut and sparkly. I usually wear it with a sports bra so it looked quite different with my green silk push-up bra underneath. I paired it with my cardigan sweater from the night before and changed into the emergency pumps I keep in the trunk. My black belt matched the shoes. I ran a comb through my blonde locks and a lipstick across my lips so I looked presentable.

I was nervous as I crossed the threshold into the lobby. What if Colin told me he didn't want to continue this relationship? I wasn't sure I wanted to either. The doorman greeted me and escorted me into the bar. Colin stood by the bar with a Tom Collins; he brightened when he saw me, immediately approached, and pulled me into his arms.

My tension faded as Colin embraced me. He whispered into my ear that I looked lovely. We sat at the bar and waited for our table. I was silent for a few moments until I got comfortable with my surroundings. Colin ordered me a glass of wine, which I declined for a gin and tonic.

I could tell he wanted to wait until we were seated at our table before discussing our situation further. I gave him my bedroom eyes and lightly flirted with him as we discussed my project, the weather, the baseball season.

Finally we were seated and left alone in a dim corner of the restaurant. I couldn't help but grin at him from across the table as the candle light sparkled in his crystal blue eyes.

"So, the lady is confused," he said, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"And you're not?" I countered.

"It's tricky, the situation. But I am not confused about how you make me feel."

I almost choked on my drink. Playing coy I asked, "And how do I make you feel?"

There was a silence while he thought of a response. I waited for him to answer and hid my nervousness by sipping my drink.

"Janie, I can't get half my work done during the day because I am thinking about you. My mind wanders to, among other things, your charisma, charm, poise, and intelligence."

"...among what other things?" I asked playfully. God, I was good at hiding my emotions. Inside I was doing cartwheels. He looked so handsome in the candle light.

"...well, for one thing, I have to excuse myself to masturbate in the men's bathroom at least twice a day. You've got my sex drive pushing the limit. I'm and old man; you could give me a heart-attack," he joked and winked at me.

I giggled, "How long have you felt this way?"

"Mmm, probably since that first day I was showing you around the warehouse. You had your hair up and I remember wanting to feast on your delicate neck."

I blushed deeper.

"I went home that night, took a cold shower, and tried to get you out of my head. My career is important to me," he said harshly.

His last sentence stung me. I felt the blood leave my face. There it was; the reason I would never get to kiss him again. It took all my strength to hold myself together.

"But everyday I saw you, Janie; I just wanted you more and more; no matter how much I told myself it was wrong." There was a pause, and then, "I started planning my day around coming to visit you in the library. At night alone in bed I began to fantasize about what it would be like to hold your soft womanly body against mine. Tasting you. Making you laugh. You have this adorable way of scrunching your nose up like a nymph when you laugh."

I just sat across from him, not comprehending the words that I was hearing. After a moment of silence in which Colin stared at his interlaced hands, I reached out and placed my hand on his forearm. He moved his head up to look at me.

He continued, "So, I would like to know what you propose we do. I have told you how I feel and now the ball is in your court. But please understand that I will respect your decision, whatever it may be."

The waiter came to take our order but we hadn't even glanced at our menus yet. Colin ordered the special after our young waiter recited his well-rehearsed lines. I did the same. After the waiter left we continued our conversation.

My mouth opened and the words came out slowly and deliberately, but my voice sounded like someone else's. "Colin, first and foremost, this is your career. This is my life too. If we got caught, the dean would surely expel me and possibly fire you. I don't know if that is a risk we should take to indulge in a little affair. You will never come across another position like this, at our school, with the department chair ready to retire and you next in line! You must have your head way up in the clouds to want to mess up the deal you've got goin'."

Colin lowered his head as if I were his mother giving him a lecture. He sort-of sulked for a moment, and for once, looked much younger than his 45 years. My words were the words of his conscious, and he felt guilty.

I couldn't believe what I had just said. My heart and soul wanted to comfort him, to reach out and tell him I was equally infatuated with him as he was me. But I knew our relationship would never work. So I left it at that. We finished our meal quietly and politely. Of course he paid and tipped generously. We parted at the lobby door with a simple hug. I had to fight to hold back the impulse to kiss him. Neither one of us looked at the other as we each walked our separate ways.

As I drove home, I felt tears welling up in the corners of my eyes. I should have never flirted with him; this was entirely my fault. Colin is not stupid, but he is a man. Men have needs, and I tempted him. Now we have a situation where both of our careers are on the line. Although I was very upset at the outcome, I knew I had done the right thing by turning him away.

That night as I crawled into bed, I couldn't help but wonder what Colin could possibly be doing at that exact moment. With the lights off, I stared into the darkness and imagined his face: his masculine chin with 5-o'clock shadow, the crows feet at the corners of his eyes, and oh, those blue eyes. Before I knew what I was doing, my hand was resting on my genitals and slowly working in circles. My fingers found a way into my green panties as I imagined how Colin would look above me on the bed. Oh the things I would do to him if he was in bed with me, I thought.

My slippery fingers increased their pace on my clitoris, moving the nub of flesh in small frantic circles. My other hand moved to pinch my left nipple. I let out a faint gasp as I imagined Colin's mouth over my teat instead of my own fingers. As my breathing became more urgent, I moved my left hand downwards to meet my right at my sex. I pushed my left index finger inside my pussy and caressed my inner walls. In my mind it was Colin's manhood parting my pussyfolds. My hips bucked upwards to meet my own hands, as the dizzy falling feeling of relief engulfed me. I lay motionless for a moment as the heavenly sensations of post-orgasm slowly faded. But my peaceful state didn't last long as feelings of loneliness, guilt, and anxiety crept in. It was a long while before I could fall asleep.

The following weeks were awkward, tortured, and definitely lacked sex. I mostly avoided the library and stayed hidden in the museum. Colin took a week-long vacation and didn't even tell me. I had to learn from a fellow student that he went to Yosemite National Park to get some work done. My colleague specifically told me that Colin was stressed out, and so decided to finish a long-overdue manuscript at his mountain cabin.

I missed Colin while he was away. I was hoping my infatuation with him would fade, but the next time I saw him, the feelings were just as strong. I went into his office to talk about my thesis; a purely scholastic conversation, I told myself.

"Hi, are you busy?" I asked, poking my head inside the door to the joint-adjunct professor offices. He was seated at his desk dressed in a grey suit.

His eyes brightened as he turned away from his laptop to look at me. But then he looked back at the screen. "Sure, what can I do for you?"

We talked about my project proposal. He was very short and cold with me, and rarely would look me in the eye. I got the information and the help that I needed from him and excused myself.

I felt my cheeks burning as I walked down the faculty offices hallway back to the main corridor. I could barely feel my feet as I walked. My eyes blurred behind tears that threatened to spill down my face. Quickly, I walked back to the museum so no one would see me cry. It was Friday, so I left early. I decided to come in the following day to work in peace without Colin upsetting my day; he never comes in on the weekend.

Saturday mid-day was gloomy, just like my mood. I arrived to campus but didn't notice Colin's Jeep Cherokee parked in the faculty lot. The lab where I work was completely empty like a ghost town. I set up my equipment and grabbed my key to the warehouse; the doors automatically lock on the weekends.

I fumbled with the lock for a moment before success. The uncomfortably cool and damp air of the warehouse hit me and made me shudder. I don't believe in ghosts, but if I did, I suspected they would live here. The specimens I needed were housed in a plastic tub at the back corner of the building, next to a flume, the aquarium pump, and some loud machinery that keeps everything running.

At first, I was just bending over to look through the jars; however my breasts kept threatening to pop out of my low-cut blouse so I knelt down instead. I found a few specimens I needed, but kept looking. I stood and followed the bins up the shelf, reading labels and glancing at the contents.

I heard a loud thud from the other end of the large room. My head shot around to find the source but I could not see any movement or suspicious shadows. I went back to my searching. A feeling like I was being watched overcame me. Internally I laughed at myself and crouched down over another plastic tub.

Satisfied that I had found all there was to find, I abruptly stood and stepped back; right into something. Something large. Something warm. Something that grabbed me around my waist. I dropped the jar, but luckily he caught it. He being Colin. My eyes were wide with surprise as I looked up into his face.

His eyes were intense, like a predator on a prey item. I couldn't think of anything to say as he set the jar down on the nearest surface but continued to stare at me. His arms came to rest around my waist again, and I felt the heat from my groin spread out over my body. Immediately, my nipples pressed an outline into the taunt white fabric of my blouse.

Colin did not utter one word, nor did I, afraid it might break the spell we were under. He circled his arms tighter and pulled me against his chest. I closed my eyes and waited for his kiss, my lips puckered and slightly parted. Colin moved his mouth to my ear, though, and whispered to me.

"Tell me you want me to stop," he breathed.

"Wha...?" I murmured, clearly confused.

"Janie, I want you so badly that unless you tell me to stop, I am going to take you right here in the warehouse," he warned.

I swallowed hard. My pussy juiced up instantly. His deep husky voice, his body heat, his minor threat all made me incredibly horny. There was no hope for me; I was doomed. I knew I would never be able to the say the words he desperately wanted me to say. How could I tell him to stop when it felt so right? How could I walk away from an embrace I had remembered so vividly from before, whole-heartedly missed, and thought I would never experience again? The answer was I could not.

"...Please, Colin," I whispered into his rough cheek.

"Please, what, Janie? Tell me what you want." His voice was ragged.

"E..Everything. I want all of you. Please don't make me beg," I whispered urgently.

Without another word, his mouth found mine. He tasted salty and musky, with a hint of coffee flavor. His hands were on my backside in a second, groping and squeezing me though my thin khaki capris. I kissed him back as thoroughly as I could while still breathing. He made me feel light-headed and already I felt tell-tale moisture leaking onto the crotch of my cotton thong panties.