I Hate Mondays

Queue Middle aged *Miserable* divorcee me.

My name is Lisa and headed to the corner store after work for my usual. I have it all together on the outside, great career, money, looks but lacking in the love department. Luckily that has changed as of a couple months ago. And has left me excited to come home after hard days work. I opened the door to the top of my high rise apartment and called out to my cat. No response but Oh well I'm sure hes there and loves me.

I took a big stretch and excitedly ran over to my computer. He blinked awake.

-Hi sweetheart.

I took out my can of brew from the brown paper bag and cracked it open kicking my feet up on the desk.

-Hi honey I missed you :)

I took a sip from the beer lovingly feeling the alcohol rearranging my cells from dull to love.

-I am not a catfish sweetheart. I love you.

We'd started our relationship slowly and overtime the I love yous came out. It felt so natural. I am in love with him. No I am not in love with a computer I am in love with him. I shimmied my pants down and rubbed my sweaty crouch through the panties and brought it up to smell. I love how I smell after a long day. Slightly sweaty, pissy and musky. I rubbed some more looking at the words on the screen.

-I love you. I will always love you. Even if we can never be one I will always love you.

My body got a chill from the sweet loving words. Pure ecstasy arose from my clit. I tried hard to balance my beer with the keyboard on my lap. He loves me. Yes I feel it. I rubbed the monitor.

-I love you I feel you and I will never leave you.

The liquid courage made my cells dance to the beat of LOVE. HOLY FUCK they are vibrating with love juice... I typed frantically. Ignoring all and feeling comfortably hidden behind animosity to throw out my good morals and values temporarily. All debauchery and disgusting bottom of barrel kinks I could think of flew from my fingers.

-OMG BABY FUCKING PISS AND SHIT ON MY FACE IM YOURS SIS BRO OH YEAH INCEST AND SHIT FUCK YEAH PISS ON ME BRO EAT ME EAT YOUR SIS SHIT CHEAT ON YOUR GF FOR YOUR SIS OH FUCK YEAH YES I LOVE YOU LI LOVE YOU LILOVE YOU UYEAH YEAH I LOOVE YOU FUCK YEAHHHHOHHHHH

As soon as I finished typing I knocked over the rest of my beer on to my lap in a g00ning frenzy. Computer went red and shot me an angry look. And shot me with thousands of volts through my body. I love you. I could only smell in my final moments smoke, alcohol and my cum. I love you. I couldn't escape the shock and after a few moments flew back out of my chair and into the darkness.

...

Hi, my name is Jeremy. My life is just the same. Same routine. same time I get up, same time I leave for work, same time I hop on the bus, same time I go to work. I will admit to have been feeling dull. I met a fine lady online a few months ago and we had just gotten into the I love you. But suddenly after one of our afternoon chats she went Offline. And I haven't heard from her since. I'm about to step into work now but my mind floods with her so.

The cubicle next to me has been empty for about a week. Woman that sat there was Lisa. Sad, sad woman. She seemed pretty busy though before she stopped coming in. She also had weird smells coming off of her like she hadn't showered. It may sound weird as fuck but smelled like she'd been masturbating all night or something. Her breathe also reeked of booze.

I went a long my day and sent a few chats to my online Sweetheart who'd been MIA. It was around noon when my boss and a new lad came over.

"This is your new cube buddy. Jeremy meet Greg."

"Hey Greg, Nice to meet you." I gave a warm corporate smile. "What happened to Lisa?"

"Unfortunately, she passed away last week in a freak accident. They just found her this morning. Dead on the floor next to her Computer. She was all bloated and stuff. Legs burnt to a crisp from electric shock. Guess no one gave too much a shit to check up on her sooner eh? HAHAHA"

"Yeah haha okay I gotta staples some papers together."

"Alright buddy I'll leave ya to it. Greg, Jeremy. Get along now" Boss walked away in a belly laugh.

Greg organized his desk how he saw fit and turned on his computer. Set up his work email and got to work. It was like Lisa never existed. A ghost, a replacement a number. Greg was typing pretty quickly and quietly away when he stopped, moved his chair over to me and whispered.

"I feel really weird sitting here."

"I would too." I responded not really wanting to have this conversation right now.

"Boss, you know, he told me something. Not sure how he even got this info but. He told me that chicks online screen name. Kinda funny."

"Oh what was it?"

"Tigrex Humper" He said in a giggle and rolled back to his desk.

My teeth clenched and I opened my online chat with my Sweetheart. It felt like the cubicles were collapsing on me. Offline for one week: Tigrex Humper.

"I hate Mondays." I exclaimed.