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I dedicate this story to Walter, my Daddy.
*
A devoted husband, 68-year-old Walter, an older man, found love again with 39-year-old Susan, a much younger woman after his beloved Mary died.
Continued from Chapter 03:
Even though those love songs sometimes made her feel sad, those stupid love songs made her feel alive. Even though those love songs sometimes made her feel sad, those stupid love songs were the only things that helped her by making her feel connected to someone, even if that someone is dead. They jogged her memories and inspired her thoughts of William and Patrick. Even though she felt sad when thinking about them, she felt alive when remembering them. Every time she thought of them, she prayed for them.
She had a life once, a good life, when William and Patrick were part of her life. Without hearing those love songs playing over and again, there was nothing but death, dead people, headstones, tombstones, and gravesites. Without love, just a blurb in the obituaries, no one would care that she died. Without having loved someone and someone having loved her, she may as well be dead. If only through those love songs, she was glad that death was interrupted by love.
With love so much part of life, love was so much part of death too. Everywhere she looked were dead people. It's sadly funny how she seemingly felt more comfortable with the dead than she did with the living. Without hearing those love songs playing over and again in her head, she felt just as dead as those who were buried in the cemetery.
Seemingly with him not paying attention to her in the way that she paid attention to him, obviously, he didn't even know that she was listening to and was addicted to hearing those nine, love songs. Sometimes when feeling so lonely and sad, hoping that her mystery man was there visiting Mary, she drove to the cemetery not to visit with William but to pretend she was visiting with Patrick to hear his love songs from afar. With Patrick's grave closer to Mary's grave than William's grave, she used Patrick as her excuse to be there.
Now, with him not paying any attention to her, she felt as ridiculous as she felt pathetic. Obviously, he's not interested in her in the way she's interested in him. Obviously he was still morning over Mary. Obviously, there was no room in his life for another woman, especially with Mary passing around the same time that Patrick had died.
Then, one day, he wasn't there again. So unusual not to see him there, it was odd not to see him there standing guard over Mary's tomb while playing those nine love songs. Yet, even when she wasn't there to hear them and even when he wasn't there to play them, as if he was haunting the cemetery, she heard his love songs playing over and again in her head. Now with her sitting in front of Patrick's headstone while hoping he'd arrive, when he didn't, she felt ridiculously pathetic again.
What was she doing? She felt so lost. She felt so lonely. As if she had just lost another man in her life, a man she never had the pleasure of even meeting, she felt so sad.
Suddenly, as if there was an angel coming up behind her, the air around her changed. She felt the aura and the presence of something or someone. She could feel the stare of someone or something coming up behind her. Suddenly, she was as afraid as she was excited to know that she wasn't alone. Suddenly, as if there was an animal walking through the grass, a squirrel, a cat, or a dog, she heard a shuffling movement behind her.
Chapter 04:
"Hi," he said keeping his distance from intruding on her in the way she had maintained her distance from intruding on him.
When she turned and looked up at him, as if he was a ghost and she was imagining him standing there, he was standing a few feet behind her. Seeing him up close, he was much better looking than she thought he was and younger than she thought he was.
"Hi," she said giving him a warm smile as if she was greeting someone she already knew.
Looking at her beloved, Patrick's tombstone before looking at her, He gave the headstone she sat in front of a long pensive stare before giving her a nod.
"We have him in common," he said returning her warm smile with his. "He was my attorney and my friend."
As if saying a silent prayer, he bowed his head and stared at the headstone before looking at her.
"No kidding. Small world," she said looking from him to look at the headstone before looking back at him.
Now that she was meeting him especially with him confessing that he knew Patrick, she didn't know what to say and how to respond to that surprising bit of insightful information. Instead of controlling the conversation in the way she had a habit of doing and thought she'd do when if ever meeting him, she figured she'd allow him to lead while she followed. She'd much rather learn more about him than to tell him about herself. He looked like the kind of man who'd want to take control of her. Only, with him knowing Patrick, she didn't know what he knew and how much he knew about the relationship she had with his friend and lawyer.
"I've seen you here a few times before and I apologize for not coming over sooner but I didn't want to intrude. I wanted to give you your space. By the time I thought about introducing myself to you, when I looked up, you were already gone," he said.
She shaded her eyes from the sun to look up at him.
"I've seen you here before too," she admitted with a smile. "I enjoy the music you play, especially Ray Charles' I Can't Stop Loving You. That's my favorite song, especially now with Patrick gone," she confessed.
He nodded in agreement.
"That was Mary's favorite song too and has become my favorite song too," he said.
Not wanting him to leave, she gave him a warm smile.
"Somehow while trying to make sense of it all and while trying make a connection with life through death or vice versa, it's calming to listen to love songs while sitting in the quiet of a cemetery," she said. "Just as I never imagined spending my days sitting in a cemetery instead of a bar, I suppose you never imagined spending your days sitting in a cemetery either but it's so peaceful here."