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"I Can't Stop Loving You," Ch. 02
A devoted husband, 68-year-old Walter, an older man, found love again with 39-year-old Susan, a much younger woman after his beloved Mary died.
Continued from Chapter 01:
Seemingly, not interested in meeting someone new, he didn't see her sometimes looking over at him and watching him while he listened to the beautiful music he played. With her so very lonely and obviously with him lonely too, he didn't seem interested in her in the way she could be interested in him if only they met. Only, with her still mourning the loss of one man, Susan wasn't yet ready to love another man so soon after the death of Patrick. She still had William in her head too. Yet, hard to believe that so much time had already passed, Patrick had been dead and buried for 1 year, two months, and three days. How was that possible? Where did the time go?
Always seeing him alone, being that he didn't look like he wanted and/or needed her company or anyone's company for that matter, perhaps it was better that she left him alone and in peace. Just as she needed to be left alone with her bad self, perhaps he needed to be left alone with his bad self too. Perhaps the one he lost was his love of his life, his wife, someone he loved and had been together with for a number of years and now he was done with women. Maybe he wasn't even a heterosexual man but a gay man. Perhaps the one he lost was his gay, best friend, his partner in life, and his lover, someone he loved and had been together with for a number of years. Yet, still so very curious, unable to help herself, she wondered who he was visiting.
She wondered if he was visiting his mother, his father, his wife, his child, or his special friend in the way she paid her respects to her special friends whenever she made the time to visit their graves. Even from the fifty yard distance between them, he looked so very sad. He looked sad in the way that William and Patrick looked sad when she met them in this very cemetery and in the way that she looked sad now. She could feel his pain and his suffering sorrow. In the way she helped eased their pain, she knew that she could ease his pain too.
Actually, if they were to meet, in the way she did with William and with Patrick, they'd both be helping one another. If they were to meet, in the way she did with William first and with Patrick next, they could become friends, good friends, close friends, and companions before perhaps becoming lovers. Yet, in the way that William and Patrick were ready to move on with their lives before meeting her, with him obviously still in the grieving period, he didn't seem ready to begin a new relationship with her or with anyone.
Chapter 02:
Believing that he was, she wondered if he was as lost, as sad, as depressed, as alone, and as lonely as she was after first losing her beloved William and now after losing her beloved Patrick. To lose one love of her life is tragic enough but to lose two loves of her life is not fair and not right. Just as she was so very happy with William, she was so very happy with Patrick too. Then, when they died, just as she was so very sad over William, she was so very sad over Patrick too.
As if this cemetery was her Hell and a sad joke doomed to repeat the death of a loved one over and again, maybe she was cursed to find love and to lose love over and again. As if she was their angel of mercy, maybe her job was to make those last few years of the older men she befriended, loved, and had sex with happy years. Keeping her from thinking of her love lost, they certainly helped her through some hard times with their time, their wisdom, and their kind generosity in the way she helped them with her love, companionship, and sex.
Able to constantly and continually entertain her, older men always had a funny joke to tell her that she never heard or an interesting tidbit of history that she never knew. Always eager to speak their mind, offer their opinions, and tell her their point of views, they were always up on the current events and the latest politics too. Having a childlike delivery and sense of enthusiasm, they thought every joke they told her was funny and every tidbit of history was interesting. Yet, even if their jokes weren't funny or their historical tidbits weren't interesting, she laughed and listened anyway. In the way they shared their jokes, their current events information, their politics, and their historical tidbits with her made them funny, newsworthy, and interesting. More than anything else, she missed their personality and their zest for life.
As if telling her a fable that was another lesson learned in life, older men always had a new story to tell her. As if they were her teacher, her mentor, and her oracle, older men schooled her in how to live morally, modestly, spiritually, and financially better. Older men educated her as to why people were the way they were when they weren't at their best. Older men were as wise as they were witty and made for charming companions.
In the way that older men seemed lucky and blessed to be with her, she felt equally as lucky and blessed to be with them too. Forsaking younger men and men her own age, Susan was more attracted to an older man, a man old enough to be her father. She was more interested in and attracted to a man who could lighten her load and enlighten her with knowledge and wisdom while lighting her way to make her life more fun and interesting.
"I love you, Daddy," she enjoyed calling them Daddy as much as they seemingly enjoyed hearing her call them Daddy.