Two days ago I went to a wake, well more accurately the deceased was one of the earliest to succumb to Covid and the original restrictions prevented any sort of attendance at the funeral or a wake. Moving on nineteen months allowed the wake to be arranged. I got talking to an elderly friend and following a disrespectful number of gin & tonics she and her friend started telling me about their holiday in the May before Covid.
I've tried to present the details as told and sent this short story to Betty and Nikki for their confirmation and their approval to publish. They have both given their permission as long as their anonymity is assured. Truth be told, despite the initial embarrassment of revealing her naughty actions Betty seems to be quite proud of her conquest.
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Sometimes things go very differently to the norm, in this case my friend Nikki, or to give her proper name which she loathes; Nichaela Canciana Smith, suggested we go on holiday abroad together. We'd often gone as a four but since losing our husbands, thirteen and eleven years ago, the best we'd thought to go on was the odd coach trip.
To put this into perspective Nikki is eighty-two and somewhat heavier than she ought to be but otherwise very active and attractive. On the other hand I'm Elizabeth Jackson, but usually known as Betty, four foot eleven, seven stone (98 pounds). I wear my dark but greying hair in a Toni & Guy style bob and with just a touch of make up often get mistaken for being in my fifties, something that I don't object to in the slightest, however my grandson had his 40th birthday just two months ago. Despite my lightweight frame I developed from 30A to some decent 32C's in the last ten years. The only thing wrong with my body apart from a few wrinkles and moles is the huge scar left by a hip replacement three years back.
So Nikki sewed the seeds for a foreign holiday and clung onto it like a limpet until one day my grandson popped in to see me, Nikki was there and still gagging for a holiday so Harry started looking for deals on his phone. Next thing I know is we'd agreed on a date and a location and a hotel and paid a deposit. Three months later he dropped us at Gatwick airport at 5am and following a completely uneventful journey we were in our hotel room two hours before the restaurant opened for lunch.
First thing I did was find the balcony and made the decision the pool looked far too inviting. Next decision made, I opened my case and rummaged for the beach towel for the beach bag and swimwear it contained. Holding up the red bikini I asked; "This Nikki or?" dropped the red items on the towel and picked up the mid blue and dusty yellow one piece; "Or this?"
"Oh the red, no doubt about it." By then Nikki had found her navy blue one piece and without a word we stripped and donned swimwear, wrapped our towel around waists, grabbed the beach bags and room key to make our way to the pool.
There were plenty of sun beds so we chose a pair with a little plastic table and parasol between, spread the towels on the white plastic beds and I headed for the pool, diving in off the side leaving Nikki to slather factor fifty on her exposed flesh. I swam four lengths and returning to Nikki found she had ordered cocktail of the day when the waiter passed, it was bright purple just like Ribena with a fruit kebab on a skewer but I promise it tasted nothing like Ribena. It smelt strongly of alcohol and tasted just as strong.
"See those two yonder by the life guard?"
"Two lads?
"Yep them two."
"What about them?"
"Well them's was watching you swim."
"And?"
"Them's want you."
"Dippy bitch Nikki. They're younger than my Harry."
"Them's was looking, that's all I'm sayin'. One in baggies was pointin' at ya."
"Think I've pulled then?"
