Friday evenings were NOW for rest and relaxation.
Gone were the days of 'Mom, take me here!" Our kids were on their own. Living their lives.
We watched them mature into women with good character and a zest for life.
Closing my eyes, I was startled by the vibration of my phone from inside my pants pocket. "Two inches to the left and I might have enjoyed that." I thought to myself.
I frantically thumbed my way into my jeans to retrieve the phone. Looking down I saw "Janet" had left me a text message.
Clicking on the message, I struggled to sit up so I could read and respond to Janet's text.
"We are having beers at the BeeHive. Come join us. Bring Patrick, he and Rick can talk about sports."
"Janet knows we don't drink!" I thought.
My reply read, "Sounds like someone needs to be rescued?"
"Just get your asses here." Janet texted back.
"Fine!" I replied.
Patrick, my husband of 30 years, was already helping the neighbor so I had to go solo.
Arriving at the BeeHive I found Janet sitting at an outside table. Rick was sitting on the other side of the picnic table facing her.
"Kathy, hey, Kathy", Janet shouted over the music. I sat beside Janet and got one of those, I already tried 5 beers. One of those hugs where they hold on a bit too long.
I broke the hug and looking across the table Rick had a pathetic expression on his face. "What?" I said.
"No hug for me!" Rick said like a child who did not get sprinkles on his ice cream.
I stood up, reached across the table and gave Rick a big hug.
We sat down as Rick sarcastically stated, "You need to give Janet lessons on how to hug."
Janet lifted her head and with a coy smile and mouthed." perhaps she could show me how to give a blowjob!"
My eyes rolled to the back of my head and Rick choked on his beer.
"No filter!" I said to Janet.
"Sorry, can I blame the beer?" she asked.
Rick stopped choking and blurted out, "Lets try that!"
"OK, shall we change the subject." I quipped.
"Fine!" Rick said in a childish voice while kicking the gravel below the table.
I took this in a humorous way and began laughing out loud.
Janet tapped my shoulder and referenced for us two girls to go get me something to drink.
While standing at the counter Janet apologized for her rude comment.
"No worries, although I could probably give you some pointers!" I said.
Janet's face turned beet red.
"OMG!, that is the first dirty comment I have ever heard you say. What's wrong?" Janet asked.
"I was merely joking." I stated.
"BULLSHIT!" Janet replied snidely. "I know you, if you give a response like that there is an underlying problem. Tell me I am wrong." Janet said.
"I'm just frustrated, let's get something to drink and enjoy this evening." I said back.
"Where is Patrick, why are you alone, you are never without Patrick." was Janet's reply.
Walking back to the table Janet informed Rick that the girls were going shopping and asked if he wanted to come along or go do something for himself. Knowing her husband, Rick jumped at the chance to do something along and ran off quickly.
"Shopping?, I hate shopping." I said.
"We are going to drive down to the jetty and talk." Janet informed me.
"What for?" I asked.
"I need to know what is going on with you, that's what." Janet replied.
The drive to the jetty was a quick 5 minute drive. It was low tide so the jetty was above water and dry.
"Great, its dry, easier to walk on." Janet said.
We made our way to the end of the jetty and Janet asked me to tell her what was going on. "This is totally between you and me Kathy." Janet reassured me.
"Look, I am not sure why you think there is something going on but there is nothing wrong." I informed her.
"Again, BULLSHIT." She stated.
"We are at the end of the jetty and not one can hear our conversation. Tell me what is on your mind. I can see it is eating you up. The way you walk, the way you play with your hair nervously, the tone in your voice. Spill it Missy!"
"Fuck you Ohio people are prying shits. Look you got me cursing." I said.
Janet blurted, "Spill it."
"Patrick and I are having a problem." I said hesitantly.
"What? You two don't have problems. You're like June and Ward Cleaver for Christ sake." She said.
"Patrick is going through what appears to be ED and I am not sure if I am handling it well. I have never really been the promiscuous type when it came to sex. I have always been reserved, It's just how I was raised. Patrick has always respected that and things worked out." I stated.
"However, NOW, I am getting more promiscuous and, well, nothing on his end. I know he is just as frustrated as I am. It is like I never wanted sex, now I want it everyday." I said.
"Look there are remedies for ED." Janet whipped.
"It's not that." I blurted out.
"Than What?" Janet asked.
"I confronted Patrick, telling him that he was not big enough. He has a small penis. I don't know why, frustrated I guess but now I feel horrible. I know he has the beginning stages of ED and that has an effect on the length and rigidity but I got horny and there was nothing there. The one time I get really horny and nothing." I said.
Letting it all out seemed to be a great relief but what was said next knocked me off my rocker.
"Fuck Rick!" Janet said.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I surprisingly said back to Janet.
"Look, Rick and I have had our problems and ALL of them are mine. I don't like this or that or something else. I know he gets frustrated and wants some kind of 'relief'." Janet confides in me.
"Relief?" I ask.
"Other than watching porn. He gets cranky if we don't have sex twice a week and lately it has been every other week so he is quite resentful. Thus the childish whims today... I know he does not mean it and he is just frustrated but I do not think I can help him. Does that make sense?" Janet stated.
"Actually, perfect sense. Rick is frustrated and I am frustrated so together we should be able to help one another." I reply.
"Are you fucking crazy, have you lost all respect for yourself and your marriage." I boastfully state.